Family coping with changes after stroke

[v_2lkerr]

My 49 year old mother had a massive stroke Aug 2005. Since the stroke she has recovered in being able to use her arm again and her speach returned in a few months after the stroke occurred.
I understand the emotional affects that are happening to her and that depression and mood changes can occur.
At times she is just down right mean- not only to her family but to anyone. I have also discovered that she is now addicted to gambling- something that has started since the stroke (that we are aware of) and it is destroying our family. She is stealing from us, lying about it and when we find out our heart is broken and it is so hard to talk to her about it because she makes us feel bad by saying "...because of the stoke..." and I end up crying and forgiving her.
I love my mom and want to support her and do support her, but we need help and I just don't know what to do anymore.
Any input into this would be so greatly appreciated!

[daddysgrl]

My now 50 year old dad had a stroke last October 2006 and I need to find a way to get him to do things other than rehab and sitting in a recliner. He is around my mom all the time and I see that there is alot of anger there between both of them. I want to get more involved in his recovery and I want to find a way to help him reconect with reality and life in general. It is breaking my heart that he is loosing his ambition and drive for life at such a young age.  His recovery has been very slow with progress.  His left arm is taking the longest and the bioness company has graciously offered one of their products for a free 4 month trial to see if that helps with the improvement. I am worried that he will become more and more angry and that he will loose all drive and ambition and end up giving up all together in the long run.  Please send me any advice you might have.

Thank you

[caregiver222]

The anger is likely due to anoxia. Lack of oxygen. Evewm simple iron deficiency anemia.There are other probable causes, but that is the most likely. At an accident scene many injured patients will curse at you, especially with those with blood loss. When they get  tranfused the transformation is magical. purchase a pulse oximeter (it measures oxygen through a sensor you put on her fingernail.) People often turn into monsters when there is inadequate circulation because agressive verbal behavior has survival value. That'smy suspicion. It's a "lizardian" brain built into all of us.I had an accident one time and my hematocrit went down to 16. Normal for men is in the 40's. My agression and bad behavior disappeared as soon as I got a transfusion. Not that a transfusion is appropriate for a stroke patient. The "gambling" part is interesting. There is a particuliar medication that, curiously enough, islinked to promotion of gambling behavior.Impriving microcirculation often helps. There are many naturopathic methods of doing soif you search the net.I am already being critized forproving too detailed medical information. Don'tgive up yet. Incidently, prednisone sometimes turns people into monsters. It depresses the immune system and the "lizardian brain" kicks in.I suppose many psychiatrists would attribute it to Freudian problems, but I had a professor that once started his class by stating "Anyone who supports or writes about Freud starts with a D and works his way down."

[Tressa999]

I feel like a broken record on this site, but when I see your mom's young age, and how well she has recovered spontaneously, I just have to recommend that you consider the Vasa Method, www.brainstrokes.com

It's hard work, and maybe your mom is too mule-ish to cooperate, but if you can convince her of what she has to gain and win her cooperation, she might regain hope, come out of her depression, and put her energy into the demanding exercises instead of into gambling (as the previous poster suggested).  I've seen some real good recoveries by people who had given up with other methods.  The younger the better, & as strokes go your mom is pretty young.

[joesi]

Sounds like she's angry about having a stroke and perhaps has given up. She may find gambling as a source of "feeling" excitement again. Look for other ways to occupy her time.