Massive stroke recovery

[Paullo]

My brother had 2 massive strokes 4 yrs ago. He was 41 yrs old .. obese, diabetic, high blood pressure. He didnt take his prescribed meds and now he and our family are paying the price. His first 2 yrs was nothing but medical problems. The first stroke he had so much swelling they had to remove part of his skull to allow expansion, and then replace the piece. His recovery consists of regaining his ability to eat, speech is fine but memory is shaky. Long term intact, short term horrible ... paralysis on his left side. My parents of 70+ yrs of age took him in ( with help of daycare nurse ) and he is basically bedridden watching tv. He does nothing on his own. HE HAS THE ABILITY BUT HE KNOWS HE DOESNT HAVE TO. My mother does EVERYTHING for him. She feeds, bathes, scratches, covers, changes channels ... you name it and it is done for him. His right arm works fine. Its shaky but weak. My brother and I work him out on the weekend ... stretching and with weights. He does get put in his wheelchair almost daily. My question ... IS IT TOO LATE FOR HIM TO DEVELOP/ PROGRESS ? My parents arent going to live forever. Us kids are pushing for mom to let him go. She hates the thought of a nursing home / rehab but it will happen eventually. He needs to learn NOW !  I read some time ago a person in his condition almost needs to be treated as an infant. They need to be retaught not only his physical abilities but his mental ability as well. I know this is a very unique situation but am looking for some sort of guidance to convince my mother that he needs professional help for his future years.  

[Laj911]

My father had a massive stroke.  He actually tried to improve but they put a "latex catheter in his bladder in rehab" even with 5 posted signs that read "LATEX ALLERGY" on his door/bed and walls.  Foreign nurse did not realize there was such a thing as Latex Cath.  Anyway, after that he had a horrible reaction that set him back so severely that he never progressed, became bedridden and never walked again or moved his left side.  My mother is a retired RN, I am an RN.  He was cared for in nursing home, but Mother was livid at his care and brought him home.  She cared for him for 3 yrs, day and night.  It was taxing to say the least on her health as well.  He finally succumbed to more strokes in the end and passed away.

Know that the longer out from a stroke, the less improvement they get to their development success.  The hardest thing is when they are disabled from stroke, immediately they have problems with nutrition/eating and that starts a very slow insidious process of breaking down of the body/systems.  It's hard to watch, frankly.  Be prepared for that.  Unless he gets lucky and has another stroke or complication that takes him sooner to meet his maker.  Whichever, God Bless your Father and Mother.  

I think the decision has to be on the part of the immediate caregiver.  Children (which I have 4 brothers - one is an ER physician and one is a PREACHER)...we had feelings about our preferred care of our father but it was my Mother's decision and she was the immediate caregiver.  He was loved and got the best care possible because of my Mother's love for him.  I could not help due to my disability.  My brothers all lived too far away to help, but came often.  She did it all! Day and Night!!  It was a long hard road.

Let your Mother make that decision.  When she can no longer care for him, then she will say so and it will be ok to place him in a nursing facility.  He will know he is loved no matter what.  It's not what is in this world that matter anyway...he will be in a better place soon.

My Mother will be blessed by God for her care of my Father.  
Good Luck and God Bless you and your family.

[Laj911]

Sorry, I meant your brother, not father...anyway you catch my drift.

[sue_in_oz]

Hi there


Sorry to hear about your brother & the load on your family.

As your brother has movement, etc & some recovery from his deficits, I think that he can progress.  I know it is 4 years but I know people who continue improvement long past this.  The fact that he has movement means he has something to work with.  The critical point is, does he WANT to?

Probably more important in his continued recovery is pyschological therapy.

I don't know how you get him to this though unless he wants to, sorry.

I do know from personal experience, that if you put the work in you get results - maybe not full recovery but progress.  If you do nothing, that's what you'll get - nothing.

HTH

Sue

[glen22]

Someone in your family needs to read Stronger After Stroke by Peter Levine. As Sue puts it only the survivor can make progress if they do the work - and it will be hard work. Neither you nor your parents can do the work for him. Progress can continue years after the stroke. Passively waiting for stroke recovery will not accomplish anything. Your parents are now enablers of his passivity. Read Peter  Levines blog on cavemen and strokes.
Good luck.

[glen22]

I locked up my computer before I could post the blog website, this is the best reading on stroke recovery,http://recoverfromstroke.blogspot.com/

[Paullo]

Thank you for your responses. Just looking for answers on this particular " stroke situation " I've never read anything about before. I think I was looking for how to get him out of the house and if I could use " there is still hope for him " as an answer. I will follow all that is said. All I can do is learn more and hope my mom and dad can let go

Once again thanks again

Paullo