Personality changes

[Trader_Becks]

My Dad had a stroke back in 2004 and he is a changed man.  He is so awful to my Mum with whom he had previously shared 39 lovely years.  He is impatient all the time can't wait for anything to the expense of her life.  He won't accept that he does anything wrong (like pulling out in front of another car or leaving the fire on) and yells at her if she points these things out.  She only does so to help him not to tell him off but she ends up in tears.   He doesn't want to communicate with her so she is so lonely. He tells her to shut up and that quite frankly he's not interested in talking with her or listenening to her.

Yet, to other people outside the family he is as nice as pie.  So my Mum has no-one who understands near her.  I live 300 miles away so can't always be there and my brother seems oblivious to Dad's change.

This is just so awful to watch and have my Mum so alone.  Is this how my Dad is for life now?

[amber34]

After my mom's stroke she had the mouth of a sailor. She had and still has limited speech but somehow she knows every curse word in the book. Her attitude also changed. She is very aggressive at times sometimes to the point where I just have to leave her at the nursing home.

I've been told this is normal.

Hopefully your mom can find some outside help...support group or something where she can talk to other people who deal with the same issues. I know being far away is tough, my brother and I deal with the same issues. I can say mom is terrible today and he'll come to see her and say she is normal..

I wish the best for your family

[Suri123]

Hi Trader_Becks, sorry to hear about your dad's stroke and your mother being suffering more than your father now. It is not a usual change noted in post stroke changes in life. There might be some other cause or reason for the change in your dad's personality who wants to keep away from your mom. Both of them need special care and attention at this age as they are under severe stress now. Is your brother at home with them, if yes he needs to take care of them and be with them always? If possible you might take your father for a counseling and also advise from a behavioral specialist. He needs further investigation from a neurologist. Your mom needs to have great patience. Do take care of them and share your thoughts.

[colin64]

since my t.b.i (traumatic brain injury) in 2005, i too have had personality changes but thay dont affect my marriage even after twenty years.but i think that what your mother needs to do is try to get some restpite care, or at least some time for just herself, that is if you think that that would help her,your mother that is.