Questions, I need help...

[jaxn]

My Father is 55 years old, he has had AF for 15+ years now.  4 days ago he had a massive stroke due to his AF.  His brain has been swelling, but medication has slowed it, basically it has not improved or become worse.  He is paralyzed on the right side of his body, but can use the left, he can not speak or swallow.  The good part is that he is responsive for a few minutes when he is not sleeping, he recognizes my brother and I, and he can shake his head yes or no to questions once in a while, sometimes he gives both yes and no to the same question.
The left side of his brain is completely gone, so what he has lost will most likley not come back.
My Father is a very self sufficient person, he is only 55, and I know quality of life is one of his greatest concerns right now, that is what I am having trouble finding information on.  His heart has already stopped once since the stroke and he has a pace maker now, we actually had the option to pull the plug last night, but we did not do it because we're holding on to some hope that he will get better.  So I would like to know if anyone can tell me what life can be like after a massive stroke like this, my Father is a young man, I know he does not want to be bed ridden in a home with elderly people waiting to die, I am afraid that situation could send him in to a deep depression because as I said before all of his mind is still there, he knows exactly what has happened and what is going on, which must be horrible for him.
I've looked at survival rates and I know he has about 34% of making it through this, I just want to know if it is worth it.  I do not want him to suffer, I know he could have another stroke very soon, and his heart is also weak, but at least now he has this time with us being coherant so we can talk to him.  I know him well and he does not want to be a vegatable, if his heart stops again, or he has another stroke he will get worse most likley.  He is highly competative and determined, he wants to win this battle completely, not halfway.
Is there a chance he could somehow make a recovery that would lead to him being self sufficient???
My brother and I have no problem at all caring for him, but we are in our 20's and we don't have much money to help out, but we do have family on their way here that will do whatever it takes.  I need to know exactly what we are looking at so I can make an intelligent decision when the time comes.  I have no problem with an ugly truth, so anyone who can help me with some real advice would have my thanks.  My brother is holding out for a miracle, so the doctors always give us horrible news and then say "but you never know..." so that they don't upset him, so I know I won't get a real answer here, and a real answer is what I need.

[PamRam228]

What did your wifes friend suffer?  Sounds like a solicitation to me.

[PamRam228]

Amen, caregiver!!!!  WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[caregiver222]

First of all, it is absolutely positively impossible to write someone off four days after a stroke. At a minimum, you should wait three months before evaluating the situation. These doctors push people into signing DNRS. I don't want to hear otherwise. They do. I've seen it when I worked in a hospital. I've experienced it in person with relatives. And you have no basis for stating "what is lost won't come back." Not at this point, anyway. There is a real possibility things will get worse, however there is an equal possibility things will get better. The hospitals want patients off care that requires a trained nurse present so they push for a peg and a trach with the assurance, "these can come out later". It is very difficult to resist these characters. They speek in gibberish, throw out terms you don't understand, and the fact that many of them don't know what they are talking about doesn't come across. He has a pacemaker now.  That should solve his heart problems. As far as being "self-sufficient", I wouldn't be optimistic. But as far as living a happy life, I certainly wouldn't rule that out. Stop looking for "Ugly truths" and start looking for the magical power of the life-force. Everyone's heart eventually stops. I see no evidence why his should suddenly "stop again".  Keep your hopes up, at this point, and don't be so gloomy. Give him lots of hugs and TLC and lots of stimulation. Make sure he has a television on in front of him or a radio with ear plugs. Don't be overly swayed by the chancre mechanics.

[Liltazz]

My father suffered a massive stroke in December 2007.  He is 80 years old.  From the research I have done, I am convinced that the brain is far too complicated to even attempt to predict.  I can relate to the "TOUGH" decisions that you face.  

Since he is highly determined, he very well could fight and show improvement.  From what I have researched, stroke victims can experience everything from improvement to full recovery to very little or no recovery.

From research and my experience, I believe that one of the most important therapies is support from family and friends.  They need to know that they are no alone and not fighting alone.

I wish you the best in your decisions.