I am torn with conscience regarding providing advice in this situation. On the one hand they are probably correct, but on the other five percent is five percent. In general, it takes three months before you can provide an honest evaluation regarding the amount of brain damage. In the case of my mother, numerous chanchre-mechanics with many degrees insisted she was "completely brain-dead" when I could easily communicate with her by her by questioning anfd having bher reply bysqueezing my hand with her fingers, clearly understanding questions spoken to her and answering equally as clearly(one squeeze for yes, two squeezes for no). Hospitals and physicians use extensive pressure to convince a family to sign a DNR (do not resuscitate order). In my opinion too much pressure. If she is released to a nursing home, without daily stimulation and tender loving care, the chances for recovery are minimal. Proving rehab care (which is likely not to mwork, but may) is extremely labor-intensive, psychologically devastating, and difficult. I would certainly think about waiting a few weeks and getting a second opinion. I would also ask them if there is a continuing deterioration. This often happens when the stroke patient if placed on an anti-coagulent. In the mean-time hold her hand as much as you can and talk to her. Do not accept the fact she cannot understand what you are saying. Get small earphones and allow her to listen to classical music. Music is very helpful in these situations. You have my sympathies.
I am also a little apprehensive about providing advise to you for this situation. I believe that it is a decision best left up to the family to make. Do you know if she ever talked to anyone about what to do if a situation like this happened? I know the wishes of everyone in my family if a situation like you are facing now happens. The number one thing for my family (grandparents on down) is the persons quality of life. In our case, if they are not going to be able to do anything but lay there we will sign a DNR and also tell them not to do anything to prolong there life as well. As for how long it will take for her to pass is anyone's guess, because every person is different. In my grandfathers case I believe it took him 3 days. I wish you and your family well.
Thank you for your comments I do really appreciate them. Today they told us she is less responsive and she probably will only last till Saturday. She is in palliative care which means it's illegal to "prolong life", so they aren't aloud to feed or revive her if she has a heart attack. So basically she is starving to death unless she doesn't have a heart attack in between there. It was really hard today because she opened her eyes today and looked at my dad and lifted her hand to wipe her tear from her eye. So she is there and she knows what is coming. That's the upsetting thing. But if she was to keep living she would have to live in nursing care and would be nearly a vegetable and she would hate that. It's just really hard to watch her like this and slowly dying :(
I kinda know what you are going through my aunt had three strokes and she can open her eyes and kinda respond but we have her on a trach tube and she has a feeding tube its really hard for my grandma to see her in that state but if she has some life left we want to do everything we can for her to possibly come out of it she will be in there two weeks and just starting to open her eyes we are not sure if she understands us but we think she does she had three strokes the first one was her left side and some of her speech and the second one we are not sure what it effected but we are hoping everyday docs said she is young and will pull through this but it will take time is that true and is there days with ups and downs?