My husband had a hemmorhagic stroke in July 07. Doctors also told me they didn't think he would make it. My husband has made a miraculous recovery. He also has problems with his left side since his stroke was on the right side of the brain in the occipital lobe. He was in ICU for three weeks, neurology for three weeks and rehab for three weeks. His deficits are diplopia (double vision), mild left side weakness and minor short term memory. He also had dysphagia and with speech therapy and exercise that improved to where he didn't have to do the head turns to swallow and he didn't have to use the thickeners any more. I think your mom may be being a little over-cautious, and with good reason. What did the doctors say? If he's going to the bathroom in the day without any "accidents" he should be going at night, also. Usually, incontinence improves. My husbands incontinence came back after he got to rehab. You should try to get your mom to not use the penis aparatus for a few just to see how he does at night. It's making him very dependent on it. Is your dad getting exercise? If he's staying in the bed all the time that will hinder his improving. Why would the feeding tube still be in him if he's eating well? How does your dad feel about this? Is he willing to let these items go? Does he feel like he can do alright without them? My opinion would be to do away with the pee pee thing and ask the doctor about the feeding tube being removed. If he's eating well there is no need to keep it. Good luck to you and let us know what happens.