My names nick, I am 25yrs old. A little during high school (11th,12th grade) and definitely after high school, my friends and I experimented with drugs.. our drug use consisted of pot, extacy, cocaine, lsd/mushrooms, but all of these came in phases besides pot which i still use now ( i do not drink alcohol). Then loritabs came along.. Id say for about 2-4 years we all started using tabs at first for recreation to sort of just relax but it wasnt long before i started noticing withdrawls and realized I had become addicted.. Most of the time they were crushed up and snorted.. Many of my friends took a substantial amount more than I would day to day. I took an estimated 1- 5 loritabs a day for 2-4 yrs, but most importantly there wasnt a day i didnt take at least one..
I think collectively my friends and I became sick of being addicted to these stupid pills. It felt like shackles to me.. Always worrying about getting more, not having enough, withdrawling at work, feeling lethargic, spending so much money.. and then Suboxone came into the picture. I was very skeptical at first but for the price and how long a single pill would last compared to the tabs I made the choice to switch to Sub. ( I did not go to a doctor, I purchased sub through friends and still do) but just like my loritab intake, I only needed a VERY small piece of suboxone to feel content for the whole day.
I have been using suboxone for maybe 2 years or so. It has helped me a lot! Ive been able to get on a schedule of taking my small piece of strip in the morning when I get up before work, and usually I feel totally normal for the whole day. Sometimes later in the evening I might feel a slight withdrawl and I got into the habbit of taking another piece of strip.. I will say that the Suboxone helped me so much as far as back on a regular schedule, and a much healthier mindset in general. I only need to take usually one dose in the morning and am worry free for the rest of the day which is so much better than freaking out all day of fear of not having enough tabs.
On the other hand If I dont take my small dose of sub in the morning, its only about an hour or so before I start feeling chills or overheated, anxious, constant yawning with my eyes watering, nose running, and the worst of all, feeling totally drained of energy regardless of trying one a days, B12, caffeine drinks, etc.. I am usually fine for the work day, but when I get out of work at 330, I literally have no energy and end up going home and staying home and sleeping..
I know all this attributes to the suboxone and I hate it so much. I feel like such a ***** for not being able to just man up and deal with the withdrawl for a few days or weeks because I take such a small dose, it seems like it shouldnt be a big deal. Ive read others posts and know others are out there in way deeper and have made it out.. but im sick of it. I dont even take the suboxone to get high, its really just to make me feel normal, but even my "normal" isnt my true normal if that makes sense.. I feel trapped because i work mon-fri and i dont really feel like i have enough time to go through the withdrawl before its time to go back to work.. its a terrible cycle.. I guess Im looking for some advice from those who have dealt with this because I truly feel like I am ready to move forward with my life and leave all of this in the past!
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this! _Nick