1686755 tn?1337083880

Support group...pushing 43yrs old!!

Hello Ladies!  Anyone about my age (will be 43 in June!) and in a similar situation, feel free to add me to your "friends" list so that we can offer one another support and encouragement.  I am pushing 43, have miscarried twice now, and deciding whether or not we want to go one cycle of IVF before giving up and accepting a wonderful life without another child.  I have 2 wonderful children form my first marriage, but wanted badly to share this with my FOREVER husband, who does not have any biological children.  Any similarities in your story?  Email me!  And wishing you all what you are most wishing for!  ~KK619
10 Responses
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1287560 tn?1272216521
Go for one cycle of ivf if you can, I know there are no guarantees but you may just still have that one good egg, we are desparate for a sibling to our only child who is 3 and was conceived natuarly when I was 38. I am now nearing 42 and have had 3 unsuccesful ivf's(1st one miscarried) but we are going for a 4th and final go in June time. My story not completely similar but we would so dearly love another child and know time is running out. my best wishes to you melissax(i am from England U.K)X
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590782 tn?1351704524
I was 42 when I gave birth to my daughter last September, the following month I turned 43. I did 4 unsuccessful IUIs. I miscarried 3 times in three three consecutive years, all three pregnancies where concieved naturally. We decided to do IVF; however the month that the procedure was suppose to begin AF did not show up. We were pregnant again naturally, we got that one good egg. We now have our little miracle. Just like you I have a child from a previous marriage and my husband wanted one of his own. We did not give up. I wish you well and hopefully soon you too can share your story of being pregnant.
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Avatar universal
Hey everyone,  I'm 43 (just turned this month) I have 2 beautiful little girls that I conceived naturally and then had my tubes tied.  Now I regret it.  I want more kids.  My husband and I are going to try a cycle of IVF this summer.  I hope it works because it is my one last chance. I love my girls with all my heart and soul but something inside of me said that I need to try for one more.  Crossing my fingers for all of you and for myself :)
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674725 tn?1367439630
Hi all,

I haven't been on for a while - sometimes pop in and out briefly to read a few posts - then I read two yesterday and thought I had to respond.  ( talking about posts from KK619 and Blossom0730 - but everyone 40+ is included ).  

I know how hungry one can feel for some hope from 40+'ers - uh, no offense to the 38 - 39 year olds ( you gals are "young'uns" to me ;D ).    I've been with my dh since the late 80's - we - or I - put off starting a family to grow our business.  Lets just say I'm a procrastinator. So when we started and nothing happened for years it was disheartening and frustrating. All those months that AF showed up  - wench !  I'd just about given up ( dh never did ) and then at age 40 we got our first bfp.  This was a month or so after making an appointment at a fertility clinic .   Such a high.  And what a crash when we discovered it was a blighted ovum.  I was in denial - hoped for my miracle and that the doctor was wrong.  Naturally m/c'd at home almost 4 weeks after the diagnosis.  I had started to think maybe he was wrong after all.....Took a long time to get over that emotionally.   Then we got pg again 6 months later.   Again, learned that the heartbeat had just stopped.  Waited again for another miracle and didn't get it.   Then we got pg the third time and I held my breath for 38 weeks - my miracle is in his crib babbling as I type.  

Don't give up - its a frustrating and ( for some ) a long journey and I know how hard it is to keep your chin up at times but, know that it IS possible.  One tip is try to ttc without trying to ttc. The times we said "Oh whatever - if it happens it happens" worked for us.  Okay, okay, I admit in the baaaaack of our minds it popped in and out quick. But try to relax.  I know , I know - hard when the biological clock is SCREAMING in your head but, again, try. Its a constant struggle -  I know.  Trust me, I do understand what you're all going through.  

I wasn't going to respond because I got my happy ending and I was suddenly conscious that there were some that I'd friended who haven't gotten theirs yet.   I was torn -  if I tell my story - will it give hope or will it make everyone feel like they're falling behind the pack ? I remember feeling happy to hear someone's success story and then wondering if it would ever happen to me - ( echoing "ever, ever ever ever" ).   Then I thought about it all night and here I am.  Us 40year olds need some hope and encouragement because there are too many naysayers out there. It might not block their negativity but we could use every bit of hope we can get, huh ?

My OB was great - he never gave me false hope.  After learning our bad news the second pg  - I had asked if I was too old to have a baby. He said to me, "My oldest patient is 53 so you have a good dozen years to pump out a half dozen".    I'm going to remind him that when I see him in three weeks...... Yep,  we're pg again :D    Again, I'm holding my breath.   But there,  just wanted to let you know that it IS possible - don't give up.   I hope to hear you all shout from the rooftop one day soon too.  Showering tons of SSBD upon all of you 40+ ttc'ers  ! Sprinkle sprinkle sprinkle splassssh !  And another dose !  Turn around, I didn't get your backs - zzzzinggggg !     Good luck to you all  !  
Helpful - 0
1150573 tn?1261964987
I am in the same boat as you. My BD is June 2 . I also will be 43..:(. we will be doing Donor Egg ..I'm really hoping we can do this .  Good luck what ever u decide ...Mary...:)
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Avatar universal
I am 43 and have 2 miscarriages behind me too (but also one lovely 7 year old). I just did a round of ivf that didn't work and now trying naturally. I'm not giving up hope yet.  Good luck.
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Avatar universal
Congratulations. That is so exciting.
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1688168 tn?1348080315
My husband and I are both 43 and decided to start conceiving in April, we turned 43 in May actually.
We have 3 children now, ages 22, 14 and 11, and really want one more :)
We just started in May, so we're still trying naturally and hoping. What a roller coaster!
I'm trying not to let the statistics get me down..this is our 3rd month trying so I'll probably be making an appoint. to get referred to a specialist after this cycle. It'll be nice to know where we stand.
Is anyone here trying naturally or recently conceived without intervention?
My periods are pretty regular, within a day or two each month. My family Dr. is optimistic and has a couple pregnant clients my age who conceived naturally. A good friend of mine told me she has 2 friends in their 40s who both recently had babies , and my cousin who is 11 months younger than me just had her baby in March. And, that's just people I know of so the statistics don't ring true to me.
I've been taking folic acid, pre-natal vit.s, vit. B6, and 81mg of aspirin since we started trying. I think I'm going to start drinking more water too..Anyone try anything else?
Baby dust over everyone!! :O)
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1752720 tn?1322231098
Hi everyone,

I'm 43 and just got a BFP from a DE IVF cycle (5-day transfer). I think the key for me was deciding that it didn't matter if the baby had my genetic material and switching to donor eggs. I didn't have problems producing eggs (on stims) but I never got a BFP from using my own. :(

When I decided it was time to go to IVF, I also decided I wanted to increase my chances by using a donor. and I have my second beta tomorrow.... still nervous but also thrilled. Just hoping and praying s/he sticks!

babydust and lots of love and luck to everyone!
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1160986 tn?1486819725
I'm 40 - will be 41 in Oct. My DH and I tried for 2.5 years. We did 3 IUIs with injectibles that failed and 2 IVFS. The first one I only produced 4 eggs with maximum stim and none of them fertilized (3 were immature). I was beyond devastated and thought the fertility specialist would suggest donor. However he gave us a good part of our money back and we tried it the following month. That time I only had 2 eggs but they both fertilized and both were transferred!! I'm now 4 months pregnant with one!!!! So, what I'm trying to say is that anything is possible. It's just a matter of getting that one good egg - whether you're trying naturally or with meds/IUI/IVF it only takes one!! I remember how shocked I was to see that pee stick! My DH looked at it first because I couldnt bear to yet see another BFN. But the only BFP I ever saw has stuck and I can't wait to meet the little one in January!!!
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