Depression. Please read.

[Ibaa]

I dont know if im a virgin. I think my hymen broke but i know 100% sure that i haven't had pentrative sex. Although i have had oral sex. Either way nothing has ever been inserted down there.
What im mostly depressed about isi dont whether im still a virgin and about the oral sex. I wanted to wait until i was married. I did something that i really really regret now. I come from a religioussociety. It was one stupid decision. I feel like i have betrayed my parents and it hurts so much. Im trying to cope with this but i cant. Please help?

[Anonymouse88]

Most girls are born with an incomplete hymen, and any sort of vigorous physical activity can cause it to break during childhood.  Having a hymen is not a prerequisite for virginity.

Many people consider "virginity" to mean that you have never had penis-in-vagina sex.  Some consider anal sex to count as losing one's virginity, but others don't (it still carries a risk of STDs, though).  Most people do not consider oral sex to count for losing virginity, which is problematic in the case of lesbians, but as far as saving oneself for marriage goes, I think the majority of people would agree you still qualify.  Virginity is a rather strange concept, so try not to get too hung up on nitpicky details, because there are so many different definitions.

[jessilb]

Hi, I know it can be hard to deal with sexuality, especialy when it comes to your viginity, STD's, and religion.  Those are like the three big things in a teenagers life.  If you didn't bleed then you didn't lose your hymen.  I lost mine at 9 and not from sex, so the hymen is not the indicator of virginity (even though it is a common thought).  If you believe that having being penatrated is losing your virginity then you haven't.  I think what you need to do is forgive yourself and not put yourself ijn that situation again.  If things get hot and heavy, get up and leave.  Virginity is sometimes in your mind.  I have two children and I see myself as a born again virgin because I have not had sex in 4 1/2 years.  So, if you forgive yourself and not do anything again until you are married, then maybe you will think of yourself as a virgin when you are married.  Just do not let anyone bully or sweet talk you into sex, oral or otherwise.  You really have to look out for the sweet talk, because it makes you feel so good.  Well, I will pray for you to forgive yourself and become a born again virgin.

[Bonesy_the_ish]

I had only kissed a guy before (no tongue) when my ex asked if I wanted to watch Inception with him. I said sure, knowing that something could easily happen. When he felt my chest, I was intimidated, but wanted him to love me, so I didn't stop him. He slid his hand down and I told him no. I was 14 and not ready for that. He tried again twice more, and twice more I resisted. Finally, he tried a fourth time (even now I think to myself, 'why the hell didn't I just get up and leave?') and that time, I didn't have it in me to say no again. Legally speaking, it was sexual abuse (I never accused him of it, I blamed myself and maybe you do, too). That said, I know what it feels like to loose control and feel the weight of what you did afterwards. It has been three years and the guilt still hasn't gone away. It is my opinion that you didn't loose your virginity. If you think it was a mistake, than discount it. Also, there is no such thing as overreacting. Just because he was ready doesn't mean that you were or ever have to be. I know that what happened is unforgettable, but forgive yourself. If you take anything away from your situation, it should be that you learned an extremely valuable lesson and now know how to better take care of yourself

[Ibaa]

I know and im trying my best. About the STDs i have gotten check and came out clean.
I dont know how to move on. I really regret it and im still with the same guy. My boyfriend says that im overeacting . I really dont know what to do.

[Bubulous]

I have read some of your posts on the STD forum and it seems to me that you are over-thinking this and you need to take care of yourself and rely on your doctor for information about whether or not you have contracted anything.  This isn't really information for this forum.  You may find better support in the teen depression forum.
If you feel guilty about doing the things you have done, don't do them anymore.  You cannot alter the past so regret isn't going to help you any but you have control over the present so please stop the reckless and harmful behaviors that you have been involved in.