How come some teens go through an awkward stage while others don't?

[Scarface94]

Hi everyone. I am 17 years old , and I am a boy. I have been in this awkward phase of mine for about 2 years.. I remember when it all started.I was a surprisingly good looking, 14 year old kid . I had really nice hair and every girl loved it, I got complimented on it everyday. I was in my science class in the 9th grade when I was 15, and began to notice that my My hair got curly and Dry as hell, not even conditioner helps it. Then I started getting acne shortly.
Now I'm a 17 year old , 5 foot 10 inches , 125 pound Awkward *** looking kid.

WHAT HAPPENED!?
Its to the point where I can't stand being a teenager. I just want to be out this awkward phase for good! I hate it , I hate it. Then I see these other boys. They look like teen models , and here I am , being eaten alive by the horrors of puberty. Why me ? I was such a cute kid everyone tells me . How come there are kids that don't have to worry about pimples , or awkwardness , meanwhile I have to worry about how I look when I hug someone , or how I speak , or what I look like when I smile.

My confidence is the thinnest thread in the world right now. My mom tells me that my acne isn't that bad. Sure , its not horrible , but when you put my face underneath it , its twice as bad! And I hate comparing pictures of me now , to pictures from 2 years ago . You would never know that it was the same person.

I barely speak to anyone at family parties because my aunts , uncles , and cousins have seen me when I was better looking.

I am self consious of every little thing I do.
I go to hug someone " you probably looked awkward"
I'm talking " make sure you don't spit while you talk! "
I laugh " try not to let your teeth show"
Some gives me a weird look " they probably think I am the most hideous human alive"

I HATE IT! It never used to be this way. I was fine . Emotionally , physically , personality wise everything was perfect. Now , its as if I am living a second life.

[BonnyA]

You can try a light antibiotic. I have had acne since your age and now I'm a mother myself. It was terrible and especially when the older members of the family think they are helping by saying 'did you eat a lot of chocolate?' Or 'try apple juice for your skin' as if I didn't already try all that! It took 20 years before my GP prescribed the antibiotic, it's cheap and I take one every day, my skin is much better. If your family has the money you can also go for facials at a beautician who
Understands acne, or preferably to a dermatologist. As for your hair, grow it a little longer and use a conditioning wax product to style it a bit! Remember this phase will definitely improve, but it might take a couple more years.

[BonnyA]

Just realised this is an old thread! :)

[AMmagic]

Acne honestly isn't that bad. I went through puberty at age 7 and I was teased a lot. Only time people stopped was when I grew boobs and a butt. I was a D cup at 12. The most important thing is screw other people. What matters is what you think of yourself, and if you think low of yourself why shouldn't they think low of you also. Trust me, you will get better

[swabes]

As I've said, everyone is different.
The changes aren't always constant, or drastic. For example, some men don't even grow any facial hair until they reach their twenties, but does that still mean that they're going through puberty? These things take time unfortunately.

[Scarface94]

I mean how come my looks haven't changed or height or anything since I got acne 2 years ago? If i was still going through puberty, wouldn't i be changing constantly?

[swabes]

I have improved a little, but of course I still have days where I feel like putting a paper bag over my head! Honestly? The only way I think that we can become more confident and feel less awkward is if we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations, like at your family parties you mentioned. I literally had to give myself a pep talk, tell myself to get over it. You will feel uncomfortable at first, but you know what, so do most people. You will grow in confidence because the more you force yourself to do things that make you feel uncomfortable or awkwark, the less intimidating it becomes. It worked for me anyway!

Which changes do you mean? When will the acne and hair problems go away? Everyone is different really,because puberty is such a horrible experience it can seem to last like what feels like FOREVER but it will clear up. Rather than focusing on that though focus on gaining some confidence in the meantime, or if it really does bother you consult your doctor who will be sure to help you in some way or other!

[Scarface94]

Oh i see. So did it get better For you when your hormones calmed down? Even though you still don't feel comfortable in your own skin, is it as bad as it was when you were going through the awkward stage?

Lastly, how come I haven't noticed any obvious changes since my hormones kicked into overdrive? It worries me because I start thinking I'm going to look like this forever.

[swabes]

Sorry, I meant a lot of the changes are down to hormones, silly me, getting caught up in the moment lol.

[swabes]

You're welcome. Yes, a lot of the physical changes are down to puberty and it really is a shock to the system! During our teenage years we also seem to become a lot more self aware, where as before it was all fun and games, with puberty we seem to stop and take a look at ourselves.
Everyone is different really, some people start early and some later on, for me personally I was about 11 or 12. Girls seem to hit puberty sooner than boys. It was horrible and like you it made me very self concious and quite frankly disgusting! But we all find our feet somewhere down the line.
It's terrible that children aren't prepared for puberty in their earlier years, it would make the whole thing a lot less traumatic.

It really is a horrible thing, I'm 18 and still not comfortable in my own skin, it takes a long time I think to accept yourself these days, especially with the media and MTV practically shoving picture perfect images of half naked people in your face night and day. I think it really is a lot harder for todays generation.

[Scarface94]

Also when all this first started happening I had no idea what was going on and it felt like my whole world was gonna end. You're also right about how I didn't compare myself to others before this, it was the last thing on my mind.

[Scarface94]

Thanks for all that info. Why do people feel like this during puberty? Is it hormones? also did I start this phase later than most people? How long did this last for you??

[swabes]

Hello there,

I am very sorry you're finding puberty such a hard transition. But truly you are not alone! You're right, it's a horrible awkward phase to go through but it's something all teenagers go through.
Have you ever considered that when you were 14 and every girl doted on you, that might have been when some of the other boys, these 'teen models' you talk about were going through their horrible puberty experiences. But because you weren't so self concious then I bet you weren't comparing yourself to them.
In general we are normally very judgemental of ourselves and magnify ever little 'fault' we see by 100.
A lot of teens have been at the stage you are right now, I thought exactly the same as you, and would not leave the house. But remember this is only a phase, it may have lasted a long time for you but it is something we have all gone through, and all phases pass, you WILL find your feet again!

Coming to terms with ourselves in our teenage years is horrible, our teenage years in general can be a living nightmare so I can understand how you feel you're living a different life. But it will PASS, your confidence will return and you will have learned a lot through this experience.
Remember, even diamonds start as coal!