My Past . I'm inconsolable . What should I do ?

[entorin]

I am a 15 year old high school student . Well , I don't know where to start to be honest , all I can say to make a long story short is that I want to move on and get on with my life , forget my past , forget the bad memories beating me up everyday , I would tell my story , but ... what's the point ? It's too long anyway .... I just want to know a cure for this sickness that drags me down .

"We all have stories to tell , mine is ... complicated ."

[entorin]

Manda , what you said kinda comforted me a bit , thanks for your words of wisdom , and ... i don't know about seeing a therapist , and i'm nervous telling this to my parents knowing it will inflict some stress and worry to them and i don't want to do that . But i have to ask , is it mad to pray for better hallucinations ? , the past doesn't always stay in the past ... ? sigh ... i'm not sure what to do though , but you're right , i should stop worrying about others and start worrying about myself , i should stop being a pushover . The others don't appreciate me and what i do anyway ... sometimes it's hard for me to control my anger , to control the urge of killing those who have underestimated me , someday they will all pay .

[entorin]

sigh ... thanks , i guess your right .

[darlenedaisy]

Hang in there, and try to get some help.
Reach out to someone, school counsellor, counsellor, your doc, a trusted adult.
It is very difficult to carry these burdens alone.

[mandapanda928]

Well what i can say to this is , some of us are more fortunate then others some of us are less fortunate , me and you seem to be a little less fortunate in having a good past. But the past is the past and it's behind you. You have to deal with what is in front of you, there's really no running away, just take what you have been through and learn from it, don't let it beat you up, if anything beat it up. Take it and put it where it belongs , in the past. If you want to get on with your life say to hell with everyone else and worry about yourself , and love yourself. And don't worry about past mistakes, or past anything , we've all made mistakes, and messed up, and we all have a past, but it's gone now. That's why there's always new days, to start over to try to make it different and we all can do it if we try hard enough. Maybe your going through a little bit of depression or maybe depending on how bad or traumatic your childhood was you may have a little PTSD. But for that you would have to see a therapist, which is not a bad thing it's actually really good once you finally go in and see that it's not that bad. Tell me how everything goes, xoxo manda.