What do i do?

[HeartBrokenBadly]

Im 13 taking on the world as if im 20. Ive been through hell alot. Learned how to fake smiles. Been betrayed so many times, i cant trust anyone. My family is no help. Mainly they're part of this too. I cant go on in the world. I got accepted to an exam school that only a handful of people get into every year. I use to be happy to go but now i dont think im good enough. I use to go out and enjoy my life now im staying home writing songs about how i wish i could die. I know im depressed but i always deny it. I try cutting myself, but i cant force the blade to go that far. I cry my self to sleep every night and i have so many reasons why. I cant continue my life living this way. I had everything alright but from a very young age things started to change. What do i do ? I cant turn to family . I dont trust my friends. I dont want the doctors to see the change in. How do i get help ? I know one day ill go to far . Please save me.

[Althera]

You wouldn't have been given these trials if you were incapable.  Lke mandapanda928 said, reach out to peope on here if you need to.  Beat this, because you can.  I know what it's like to be betrayed and not being able to trust anyone.  My family wasn't the problem tho, not really.  It was my friends.  Message if you'd like to have someone there to talk to  :)

[mandapanda928]

The only person who can save you is yourself , but thankgod there are some angels on earth that can sure ******* help. I don't know exactly what your going through, I've been through some of it myself, but no ones situation is comparable or a comparison . I think what you should do if you don't trust your family and friends, is talk to people on here, realize yes, this time is hell. But i PROMISE you it will pass. I've been to the darkest places and still see the light, make sure you write , journal, make a mood tracker, if you can go to a doctor don't go through everything with them if it makes you uncomfortable tell them your having a hard time you know your depressed heavily and what should you do ? they might prescribe medication. If i were you I would suggest prozac it's old and they know any side effects that can happen, and it's safe. If medication isnt what you want to do, reach out talk to people on here. Think back to when you were little, and how you got here, change your thoughts, change your coping skills work on yourself, love yourself. If you want any other advice message me i know where you are and your not a lone. No one is. As much as you feel like sometimes you are. Stay strong, and beat this , get angry, don't let it beat you ! If you stay strong it has no chance.