What is wrong with me

[Ringemi]

I am 16 years old and for most of my life I have been a homeschooled freak. I am extremely lonely and unsure about my future. I am academically gifted but it has not helped my level of happiness. I feel like I have failed over and over again and that I pretty much don't have a prayer of achieving what I want to achieve. I have literally cried over absolutely nothing. Although part of my brain realizes I am being dramatic, I can't help feeling like a waste of space. Although I do have some support in my life, nobody understands how lonely I truly am even with company of others. The majority of my interactions come from online and I'm just sick of being alone. I have also been in a traumatic situation involving online predators which certainly doesn't help. I just mostly feel like an outcast and I could never be loved. I need to snap out of it because I understand that a lot of how I am feeling isn't even logical. I just wish people understood me and I could spend my days laughing and enjoying myself rather than just being sucked up by my demons. I have always wished to go to public school because now I don't even know the first thing about how to talk to people. I just need some direction. Some certainty that I can win this battle. How do I begin?

[amandapanda8]

If going to a public school isn't an option, you can try participating in social hobbies like joining a local sports league. It sounds like you aren't getting enough human interaction and that's enough to drive anyone crazy.