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Avatar universal

What's wrong with me?

I'm 15 and last year my doctor told me she wanted me to go see a psychiatrist because I was self-harming and i had attempted od'ing on pills which only got me really sick but my parents ended up not finding out. I never took her suggestions because I was afraid to tell my parents what had happened and I didn't want them to think any differently of me, be ashamed of me, etc. I stopped cutting & burning, but the thoughts of committing suicide are sometimes still there. Like I'll be walking and sometimes i'll just stop in the middle of the street to see if a car will hit me ( stupid I know) but the feeling of not wanting to be here anymore just overwhelms me sometimes. Summer is half over and I spent majority of it in my room by myself unless I had to go out with my parents. My friends used to ask me to go do things with them but gave up cause I always say no. I just don't feel like going out or doing anything. Sometime I sleep for over 12 hours & others times I don't sleep for 2 days. I don't think I'm depressed though because I still laugh and stuff with my family. I also get mild panic attacks when i'm listening to music on my ipod and other people are around and i got panic attacks in the hallways unless I took a different route to go to class (which usually made me late & my school is over-populated). I just don't understand what is wrong with me? Sorry for writing so much.
Best Answer
Avatar universal
Please talk to your parents about this they will not be disappointed in you! But more importantly make sure they take you to see a Dr. you definitely have signs of depression - depressed people find things funny too :) It is normal for a teenage girl or anyone for that matter to be depressed. But teenagers have so many hormonal changes going on and peer pressure. I have a 15 year old daughter and I think it would be crazy difficult to be a teenager these days.    
I work in the Mental Health field and do not let that term freak you out...or other terms like Therapist or Psychiatrist. Sometimes these terms scare people because they find them associated with mental illness BUT just because you go see someone in the mental health field does not necessarily mean you have a mental illness - we are here so you can have complete health in your mind and your soul. Please make sure you talk to someone. And get the heck out of your room and be a teenager! :) I hope you follow up with me and let me know what happens!
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3130892 tn?1342567641
I'm 17, and I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety at age 14 or 15. I started cutting at 14, and I've attempted suicide 3 times (one of which required a night in the ER, followed by 10 days in a psych ward). I've also been in psych hospitals 2 other times.
My parents have been very supportive when they can be.
It's really important that you let someone know, whether it be a school counselor, a parent, or another adult you trust. I know it's scary, but it will help so much in the long run. They'll probably suggest that you talk to a therapist or counselor (which is completely confidential unless you have the plan, means, and desire to kill yourself or someone else). I tell my therapist almost everything, even if I know I won't like her response.
Nothing's really wrong with you. Many teens have these sorts of issues; a lot of them just keep it well hidden.
I'm here to talk to if you ever need someone to talk to. Believe me, your parents want to help you in every way they can. A year ago, I was just getting over a suicide attempt, and I could have cared less about how my parents would have reacted to a successful attempt. Since I've been recovering with my cutting and depression in general, I'm so glad that I never succeeded. I have so much fun with my friends and family now, and I see that they really do love me.
As cliche as this may be, it does get better. Of course you'll have your bad days and nights here and there, but overall, it'll all be worth it. ♥
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You still need to talk to your parents I would even suggest that you show them what you wrote on this web-site.

You getting in trouble for breaking curfew... what else is there to the story?  

Hope you are okay!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks & I tried to get out of my room tonight. I went out and broke curfew on accident. My dad yelled at my friends & cussed at them while also getting into a fight with one of the parents. I am now never allowed to see them again. I was also really looking forward to a car. Goodbye to that too. I'm so angry now, I don't know what to do right now. It's just all bottled up and I feel like crying but I can't. The first time I go out ALL summer & this is what happens. I was at the BOWLING ALLEY the whole time.
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