Please take care of yourself. If you can't talk to an adult like
parent or counselor, talk to a close friend or call the National Suicide Prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255. You can even do a chat: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
Suicidal thoughts are often linked to depression, which may require counseling and maybe medication. Are you able to talk to your parents or another trusted adult about the thoughts you are having?