not a comedin

[jones08c]

A lot of people tell me I should be a comedien but they don't understand I'm dying inside every time I say a joke I know I'm betraying my self. My mum went through a difficult time and eventually had a mental breakdown and my jokes made her smile it may not have been much but it was all I could do. Now I'm so depressed I want to die I have developed an eating disorder. The more depressed I get the more I think about suicide and the more I think about suicide the more depressed I get. What do I do to stop this pain

[RainyShores]

I always felt the same way. I was always the jokester, because it's easier to make jokes than think about something painful. Have you talked to anyone about this? It sounds like maybe you should seek help. This doesn't mean you're weak, it just means that you've been strong for too long. Not to force any religious crap on you, but I'll pray for you. Keep your head up, alright? Everyone goes through some trials and tribulations,

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and welcome and sorry your not feeling well. When i was your age i was depressed also and later realized it was due to not finding my place in the world and also not having a bright future as my parents did not teach me much. The only advise i got from my dad was not to hurt my back as will need it. Not sure what he ment by that!. I was also terrible in school and scored in the bottom 10% in the Iowa acheivement tests.
I realized that it was really up to me to make my life a success with what ever abilities i had and started the process by being kind to other people and animals which eventually led me by good Karma to the good things in life. If you have a talant for being a comedian, then enroll in acting classed and get your career going. A lot of depression comes from not making ends meet or the ability to help others.
You have a talent given to you by God and should follow up with this. We as humans possess energy and if this energy is not put to use can cause a mental backup.
A quick question, what are you depressed about as you know you better than us.
Dave