Girls

[Track12]

Hey there im a typical guy im 16 and is getting serious with my gf that iv been dating for about 6 months. Sometimes when I'm around her she wants to role play and gets in the mood. Now I know she is a type of girl that is not scared to have sex. The thing is she has had sex about 6 times and got eatin out like 15 times she's also gave 20 bjs and hand jobs. Just the other day she wanted me to go down low on her cuz she was in the mood. But the thing is idk how to eat a girl out or finger her... So Idk how to please her other then spending lots of time with her. So is there a way that I could surprise her one day by doing something like this.  By the way iv never done this to a girl before and I'm worried about diesease she may or may not have... U can never be to safe.  So plz help me.  Oh and also I havnt fully grown my adult penis so that's not helping anything...  Help me thanks... Looking foward to any answers to my questions!!

[Taylor_is_epic]

Hi, ummm....I really do think you should wait. If you do end up having sex,use a condom but remember, what happens If the condom breaks?? Are you really ready to become a father?? Wait and also, you've only been together 6 months...you should wait coz what if you fight after she gets preggo?? And you break up and then she is a single mum!!!

[Track12]

Ight. If ur 16 and Done it 3 times how do u feel about it.  And going down low isn't sexy or anything?!   Wat turns on girls ?!  

And wat other things can we do. We live in a small town with only food places to eat at?!     I do not consider the opptions of breaking up with her cuz today I got in a car wreck and went to te hospital. I called my folks and all. Then her.  She got out of school and came to see me.  Infact she's been her for 4 hrs already. (we go to diff schools)

[younggrandmother]

I hope that she knows what a smart,caring and respectable young man she has.
I posted you earlier so I don't have much more to say. The only thing that bothers me is that you think that you might lose her to another if you don't have sex.This should tell you a lot about her. If that is the case then she is not the one for you. She should respect you and your feelings.You can have LOT'S of fun with each other with out going all the way, be creative. I don't wont you to regret anything. So take your time if she truly likes you then she will respect your decision  

[maddie93]

ok dnt listen to them i have sleep wit 3 guys, its jus a girl thing, ask her if she has a disease she'll tell u the truth trust me i'm 16 n theirs no way i wouldn't let some one i love nt no the truth but u rely shouldn't eat her u'll regret it its disgusting n it'll make her think twice bout kissing u after, gd luck. n to be safe use a ruber

[Track12]

1.    She's only done it with 2 guys. And she says this relationship is the longest she's had without any touching. So I don't think she would go
2.    I think she would look for mire and more. And she won't look at me the same way. And idk y I want to change it
3.     I believe it's for both.  But manly her
4.     Losing her to another.
5      she doe. Respect herself. I know she does cuz sometimes she talks all sweet and all. Other times she gets horny.  
6.    Well I'm confused on that answer

no I ment guys would like to have sex in college and or before college.

Alright but she says I love u alot. And we talk on the phone for at least 2 and a half hours about every other day. We text non stop.  She has proven she loves me by giving me her favorite bear.  That she loves very much.  I love her to

[grendslori]

Okay track....here's a few more questions for you:
1) If she has moved on from one guy to the next....and there have been several guys....what makes you think she won't move on from you, especially if you "weren't good enough"?
2)How do you think going to bed is going to change your relationship big time? If you like things the way they are right now, why would you want to change it?
3)Are you making those changes for her or for you?
4)What risk do you feel you are taking?
5)If this girl doesn't even respect herself, what makes you think she is even capable of respecting you?
6)and here's an off the wall question for you: Do you know what the significance is of the white wedding dress?

Most young people have sexual urges; they are due to major hormone shifts in the body. You asked (I think....it's that spelling again) girls want to have sex before they go off to college. Am I reading that right? Actally if you go through  a few of these other posts on the forums, you'll see that there are a lot of girls that are scared out of their minds about the possibility of being pregnant. Girls go to bed, more often than not, to satisfy the guys they want to have interested in them; they don't go to bed because of the sexual urges. In fact, many women, even married women, don't even care for the sexual act itself; they go to bed with their husband because they love their husband and want to please him, or because they want children. They also realize (hopefully) and understand that a man has a build up of testosterone. That build up of hormone is relieved by ejaculation; in other words by masturbation or by making love. For a woman, it's not the same. Your girlfriend has some real issues and they don't really have anything to do with a death in the family etc, as you asked about. They have to do with how she sees herself as a person and as a young woman. The self confidence you speak of, isn't really there the way you think it is, Track. That's the reality of it. I've lived long enough at this point and have been around the block more times than I care to count, to know that. You seem like such a nice young man, through the things that you have written, I would hate to see you hurt like the other guys she has basically used, especially when it is your choice to hold off of this issue. Stay the gentleman that you see yourself being; if you take her to bed, you will have lost that feeling about yourself forever. It will never come back to you, just as every young girl who loses her virginity always ends up regretting it for the rest of her life. Think hard before taking on this adult step; you are not an adult yet....close, just not quite there. take care

[Track12]

Alright I'm sorry about the spelling. Haha. And us guy do talk about girls like who's hot and who's not. So should I ask my gf if there is anything that happen in her past that she will never forget such as death or wat not?   Hopefully she would not "move on" if we went to bed together, cuz I care for her and her safty. I don't think there is anything wrong with her but she just gets horny and who doesn't. Every body does right?   I kinda don't want to go to bed cuz that WILL change our relationship bug time.  This girl has me hooked by her beauty, selfconfidence, personality, athleticism and she's wonderful and amazing. I have always thought that about her.!    Guys around my age asume that we should have sex at least once in our life. Idk y but it's always been that way before a man goes off to college or whatever.  And I know most girls don't do this cuz y do they want to?  

[grendslori]

Okay, this last post is harder to read, Trunk....want to consider spelling the words right? I'm not the teen you are so I'm not used to all of the abbreviations! LOLs!!! (I can do that one though!) Are you ready for some more reality? There is something wrong with this girl in the respect that she has a self esteem problem; I don't even have to know her and I can tell you that. Sex in a young girl who has had so many encounters with different guys, has a real problem and she is using the sex to fill a major void in her life. Usually she is looking for love from someone. Ironically, it's not generally the guy, that's why she moves from one affair to another and another. She just doesn't understand the difference between love and sex. Chances are very high that if you go to bed with her, once done, she will move onto some other guy. Her history shows you that. There is also always a thrill, if you want to call it that, when a boy, or girl, gets someone to 'give in' to the idea of going to bed. You know what I mean; as a guy, don't you guys all get together and discuss which girl you would like to have your way with and discuss which girls you were more likely to get into bed ? Aren't the girls more appealing when they resist all of the advances? It makes the challenge more stimulating, right? That's the way it should be; it's a game and it's a lot of fun if done right. I was really glad to hear that you are considering the amount of respect that you are actually being given by this girl. One of the prime ingredients needed for a long term relationship is respect. Always remember that.

[Track12]

Awe thank u for all ur help so far. I understand how hard it is to deal with a child. Cuz he stays with us at least 5 days a week. I understand the crying and all.  I know.  I do question If she respects me and my body from wat u been bringing up. But I do think it's cuz she gets REALLY horny to often haha. But still. I do relize Wat I mean to other girls cuz at school or work they would say awe ur to sweet and adorable. I widh u weren't dating someone. And how much I'm diff from other guys. And I'm not going to lie these girls are realy beautiful. And mist of them older like college girls but some my age. Iv been known as a flirt and I admitt it i am. Also I don't plan on telling my mother. She has to much stress and all. By working two jobs remodling our house and so on. Plus the fact that my gf is older by 2 years.   Another thing  thank you very much for all your help. I am getting alot more knowledge about life in general and I appricate that. Also I don't think I'm that attractive. Hah.

[grendslori]

You know one of the greatest pleasures of being a grandmother, Track? And any grandparent will tell you this. You can spend time with your grandchildren, you can spoil them and in the end you get to turn them back over to the parents. In other words your comitment isn't 24/7. You are in no different a place in taking care of your nephew. It is not even remotely close to being a parent, especially as a teen. Most teens do not have the maturity to cope, especially with a newborn. If a newborn has colic they can scream non-stop for literally hours and drive the parents totally insane. You said that because you haven't had sex with her that that makes you a gentleman; I would agree so my next question to you is this: if you do have sex with her, then are you still a gentleman? Earlier we discussed respect, we discussed you having respect for her.......where is her respect for you and your body which is still clean and untouched? You may not realize it, Track, but she doesn't respect you, not really. Continue to date her and let time prove to you that she is the right one for you. If it is meant to be, it will last the test of time. If she is only interested in you as a sexual partner, she will move onto someone else, just as she has in the past. You must be a decent young man and you are probably pretty good looking; cheerleaders tend to go for the 'hot' guys. Chances are there are several girls who are dreaming about you and you aren't even aware of it; give yourself time and let that time show whether or not you are really in a long lasting relationship. If it's not long lasting and she gets pregnant, you are going to be headed for a lot of hassles, not just you, but the family and the wife you may have in the furure. Do what you will, you are free to do that, just think about this very seriously first. If you need help to stay true to yourself, just let me know and I will try and continue to help you. Have you talked to your parnts about any of this yet. They raised you to be, what sounds like a really nice young man, Take care

[Track12]

Haha I can tell u enjoy writing to me. Thanks.

Alright the past relationships I had is 2 and the parents broke us up cuz they thought I was unreal. I do love her looks but I also love her personality her perspective of life, her mind!  I do know how much effort it takes to take cars of a baby. I'm already a uncle to my 11 m old nephew.  I have watched him and taken care of him plenty of times. In fact I'm watching him now.   I do respect her and her space.  I have held off on sex with her many times by saying it's not the right time or I'm not ready. When I'm around she will start touching me down there will at school. Just tonight she wanted me. Wanted me real bad. She started sexting me and all. So indeed I'm a gentleman cuz I have not have sex with her.  

She is a cheerleader but she does mean alot more to me!  

This foreplay sounds good but how can I know it is?!  I'm so confused.  

[grendslori]

Track, this last post made me smile. You seem like such a nice young man, just a little naive. No one can blame you for that; to blame you would be to blame the young. The reality of it is that no "true gentleman" would ever consider taking the woman he loves to bed before they were married; that is true respect. To hold hands and to kiss, to cuddle, yes, but nothing more. By doing that, a woman really learns to trust the man she's with. The reason the ** or hj by a girl is so pleasurable to a man is because (just like with the woman) there are very sensitive nerves, as well as blood flow, to that area of the body. That bloodflow increases when being touched and that touch causes basically "a high".
That "high" can lead you down a road that you may not easily get off of; in other words, it can EASILY lead to true intercourse. Once a man "gets turned on" it's close to impossible to "turn those feelings/actions off" at that point. These things always begin with foreplay which is what you are talking about; that is the "first step" in having a sexual encounter. The reason human's have foreplay is to get their body and mind ready for intercourse, that's the whole reason. If you go through with this act, you may find yourself in an uncontrolable act that you really didn't want to find yourself in. I hope this is making sense to you. (This foreplay is also illegal, just to let you know, I know you won't turn her in......she may turn herself in unwittingly).You said all of your past relationships lasted 2 years. If you are only 16, how many relationships could you have really had? The parents probably broke up the relationships because their daughters were too young to be in any kind of relationship with a boy. When you say this girl treats you right, what do you mean by that? She may be beautiful at 18, but looks never last forever, what's inside is what is important! Cheerleader types and Hunk types....their marriages rarely survive because it was the looks of the person that got them married in the first place, not who the people were as people. You said that you know that this is an adult situation but that the world's standards are dropping; how sad! That is why there are SO many babies born to teens at this point; most don't have a clue of what it takes to raise a child in todays world. Just in cost alone: it takes almost $8000 per year to raise a child; that is not a baby which is more expensive. Who do you think pays for those children, Track? It is the taxpayers in this country, that's not fair to any taxpayer because two teens have decided to take an adult step before they become adults themselves. As I have said before, I have some respect for you as a 16 year old, you seem to be on the right track at this point at least in your searches and I enjoy writing to you. Take care
  

[Track12]

Alright I do respect her body and her. I treat girls very respectful. I was raised right like a true gentelman.  Ally past relationships lasted over 2 years.  The thing is I never broke up with the girl and the girl never broke ip with me. It was always the girls parents that did.  I really do care about her.  She treats me right.  If I see a guy flirting with her I'll say something or she will. (she is really beautiful and lots of guys would be lucky to date her). The fact that she's 18 doesn't matter to me cuz we havnt done anything wrong. Besides it's not like I'm going to turn her in. Hahah.  

Receving a b.j and or handjob by a girl is soppose to be really good for pleasure but I don't see how it is?!?  I'm just really concered about all this.  I know it's "adult situations" but in today world standards are dropping. Still have alot of questions to be answered. 

[grendslori]

If she goes to bed with you, that is called statutory rape and that is illegal!! She is an adult. Using the pill and condoms is not a sure thing; my best friend got pregnant with each of her three girls that way! No gidding! :) She is not likely to tell you if she has any STDs, most young people don't share that information BEFORE going to bed, so you are taking risks; you're not just going to bed with her, but with every other partner she has gone to bed with and you may not know about all of those people. With the history you gave above about her sexual history, I dare say she has more partners than you realize. At 19 she has had a lot of sexual encounters, certainly more than most. Consider this: the very first person she ever slept with....say 6 months from now he finds out that he has been infected with an STD or HIV....he takes her to bed long before he finds out he's infected......where does that leave you if she doesn't even know at this point in time that she is infected now or is a carrier?  You say you love her, do I believe that's possible? Certainly. back in the 1800s you'd be married at your age......of course you would also die at a much younger age. My question to you is HOW do you know you love her as opposed to simply being infatuated with her, something that young people (as well as some adults) mistake for true love? What you need to understand is that if you truely loved her you would never take her to bed because you would be respecting her and her body. You would hold off on taking her to bed until you are at an age when you can be married and then when the two of you make love for the first time together it will be something very special between just the two of you. There is a HUGE difference between having sex and making love! HUGE difference. Consider the idea of simply dating her for the next 2 years, without going to bed. See if time has a way of changing how you feel and more importantly, will she still be around or will she have found someone else to be with? After 2 years. Understand too that going to bed is a criminal offense and she could land in jail if your parents knew about it; this is a form of raping you, even if you consent because the law looks at you as still being a child. You REALLY need to think about this. This woman, and she is a full grown woman is probably looking at you as an easy lay, usually it is the other way around. Just by the things you are asking in your post shows me (I'm nearly 60 and was married to the same man for over 32 years) that you have not reached the level of maturity that you need to be at to start this form of adult behaviour. Having said that, I have a tremendous respect for you for your ability to come onto this forum and ask the questions you are asking, that does show a some signs of maturity. As I said before, no one can tell you what or how to do things on this board, this is your life and the things you do with this life you will be the only one to answer for. Always remember that people who play with fire always get burned in the end. Be very careful.

[Track12]

First off I thank you both. And I do love her. I havnt loved anyone more than her. She's also on tge pill and no doubt i'll use protection.  This girl is older than me. She will be 19 in April. Ok do think I'm ready for her but just alittle scared to admit. I just don't know if I can handle her. I don't want to ask her about infections or whatever cuz she should tell me if she does. Another thing is we sexting alot! (talking about sex and wat we would do to each other through a text message). I still don't know how to finger a girl or even eat her out.   Also if she gives me a ** or hand job wat am I soppose to do????  

Srry about all this but thanks again fir ur help
I'll be looking foward to gain some new knowledge!! 

[grendslori]

At 16 are you really prepared to be a father? Is this girl someone you could spend the rest of your life dealing with if she becomes pregnant? (I'm not just talking about getting married) You both are in school; who is going to have to deal with raising your baby if she gets pregnant? Your parents, her parents? You really have to ask yourself those things seriously because it is a risk you are taking. You may, in the long run, be involving a lot more people than just the two of you. You wrote that you haven't fully grown your adult penis yet; sex is an adult act that is between two people who are in love with each other. It is an act used not only to create life, but also to grow  the two people closer together. No one can tell you to try and hold off on what you want to do, it is your decision and even though it appears that I am lecturing you, I'm not trying to; I'm am simply trying to get you to really think about this and ask yourself if it is really the thing you want to do. A grown man almost instinctively knows how to have a loving, sexual relationship with a woman; he is capable of leading a woman and there are many women who know how to have a relationship with the man in her life; a big portion of that comes in the daily life the two share with each other. Take your time, you won't regret it in the end.

[younggrandmother]

Communication is the key, you need to tell her about your concerns. She has a lot more experience then you.She knows what she likes and so on. I'm impressed that you are taking everything into consideration you have sex with everyone that you partner has had sex with in the past. You can never be to careful. As for HOW to and WHAT to do its different for everyone this is why I said communication is the key, If your relationship is ready for intimacy, then you should be able to talk with out any embarrassment. You  know you should use protection at all times, so be prepared.
Remember you are still very young so don't rush into anything.