Help me out ; Dont know what to do

[misschocolatee3557]

To the teens or anyone who can help me out, I am pregnant but my mom wants me to get an abortion, what about how i feel about this and how i feel about killing my child. I tried explaining that to her, but she says well im only 14. I understand that too, but its hard to make a decision like that. Only way i can keep this baby is if I move in with my bf. I really dont wanna do that either but i will if i had too, so I kinda need some advice..
-please help.

[misschocolatee3557]

yeahh i understand.! its hard though. But i will have to think long and hard on my decision

[sweetpea03]

I would suggest that you write down the pros and cons of each decision on paper. Being able to see it in front of you can help you to make a good informed decision. Don't base your whole decision on your boyfriend, as he may not always be around, so you need to decide based on what you can handle. It's a tough spot to be in, so take your time to make this decision. Either way, it will change your life. Hope all goes well.

[misschocolatee3557]

Thanks so much, and I had too just from all the stress. Im still not sure on what I want to do, but what is right will soon come to me.  I know things will get better. Now im just observing my bf reactions and the things he do, and or say and that will determine my decision, bubt he is around more and is making me happy so im ok for now. But so far everything is GREAT. Happy Holidays to you to!

[yum24]

hi dear ! just dropped by to see how u are doin? abt ur mom,what sweetpea said is xactly right..give her some time to digest the fact & i'm sure she'll be back to normal ! u have lotta time to decide abt baby.u must be tired,confused 4rm all this..so,take a break 4rm thinking abt adoption or raising by urself just 4r a while..i know its hard but we can think & take right decisions when we are calm& clear in our heads..just a suggestion ! happy holidays! takecare now !

[misschocolatee3557]

Well my father and i talked today, we were just talking about money wise if we decide to keep iht. I dont think adoption is really his thing bc after going full term he may not want me to give it up. As long as i have support im ok. But I still have thinking to do.

[sweetpea03]

Right now, your mom is still in shock, so you are going to have to give her more time. This is not what she wanted for you, at all. All moms want the best for their children, and teen pregnancy is difficult. Have you talked to your dad about your options, keeping the baby vs adoption? Both are difficult. If you keep the baby, then you will have to make sacrifices. It's difficult to raise a child at a young age. Giving the baby up for adoption is hard, too. You can do either an open or closed adoption. My cousin has an open adoption, so she knows how her son is doing and keeps in touch with the mom. If you can't talk to your dad, find someone you trust to really talk it all over and look at the pros and cons of each. Then see what is best for you and your baby.

[misschocolatee3557]

Thanks and I know it would be a great thing if i didnt decide to keep this baby that it goes off to a couple who could provide for it more than i can. And i wanna make the couple happy also, just to see a smile on their faces. Something they couldnt do i helped them out on. Me being blessed with a beatiful baby can not only be my gift but theres. I just wanna make the right choice, even thouqh im not sure yet.

[misschocolatee3557]

Thank you so much. I needed that bc right now everything is bad, the only thing good right now is the fact that my bf is still here for me and waants to be here, everything about our relationship is still the same. But with my mom its the total opposite. Its like she hates me and it almost puts me in tears right now bc im also hurt. I never pictured myself like this at a young age. I feel so stupid for what I did. I just want things to get better. My dad is here for me 100 % and wasnt uhp for the abortion, but i just need that bond back with my mom. I dont think it will ever be the same. Now when I leave off to school and she goes to work I think why are we mad aht each other I even txt her to make sure she made it to work bc i just think we leave home mad aht each other what if thats our last time seein one another. You never know what happens at the end of the day! I just dont know

[yum24]

hi ! i'm so happy 4r u ! i was so concerned 4r both of u ! be strong,more carefull...may god bless u both & stand by u always! good luck with everythin ! takecare :)

[sweetpea03]

My cousin is adopted, as my aunt could not get pregnant and it's amazing to have her as a part of our family. My aunt is the happiest woman in the world to now have a baby that is hers. My other cousin got pregnant at 17 and gave her baby up for adoption. It's not that easy, but it's an amazingly selfless thing to do!! You really make the the couple who is adopting very happy. Many can't have children and adopting a baby is their only choice. I had thought, if I ever got pregnant and thought it wasn't a good situation, I would give my baby up. Also, if I can't get pregnant, I'm all for adoption. It's something many people over look, but it's something you should really consider and think about. Good luck

[misschocolatee3557]

Yeah thanks, I just want my child to have a better life, it didnt ask to come into thus world, I dont want him or her coming into it and im having to struggle to support him/her. I want them to have a GREAT life.!

[Libby2999]

I like the adoption thing. Abortion can harm yourself. There are couples who can't consive and what a child. I'm sure if you give it up for adoption you can also keep in touch with the person who adopted your child. It won't be the same but atleast it'll have a good life and you can keep on with school. Maybe someday, when your older you can meet your child and you two can talk and have a good relationship. If you need support, church usually will help.

[misschocolatee3557]

Thank you both for your responses I went to the abortion clinic (whatever its called] and my dad gavee in andd didnnt want me to continuee on , and after that we experienced a car accident on the way back home. It scared me my mom and my dad, everything happened so fast. I think it was a lesson, my mom was so quick to kill a baby when our own lives could have been takin. My mom is still hurt and she cried so much, but I will show her I am responsible , and abortion was just something I didnt want. We will have more talks on adoption also. But thanks.

[ammanda]

Im not a teen either, I am a mother of a 6 month old baby! I will be 21 next month, i was 19 when I got pregnant, and it was hard, still is, im unemployed and my boyfriend takes care of me and our baby.  I was working up until about 2 weeks ago, when the place I worked at closed its doors. and it was soo  hard. working 36 hours a week and taking care of a baby.  you cant even get a job, which is gonna be so hard for you...

i agree that you should choose adoption, but I see you havnt wrote in over 4 hours so Im praying you havnt gone in yet :(  talk to your boyfriends parents, see if they can help you talk to your mom about adoption.... heck even bring your mom on here and take her to the TTC forum and show her all the couples wanting babies.. its not right to kill a baby, when it could be loved by a couple that cant have one of there own...  

Im praying your okay right now! message me if you ever need to talk

[yum24]

hi..i'm not a teen but just saw ur post & wanted to comment..i understand both ur's & ur mom's concerns..u shouldn't go thru with this if u dont want to..u can always put it 4r adoption..u can go to "tryin to conceive"commu & see so many ppl goin thru hell & would do anythin 4r a baby ! try talkin to ur mom that u'll b more responsible( u should do it too) & what u have is a gift & u dont wanna end it ! i'm sure u might have spoke to ur mom abt adoption but talk again..u never know what might change her mind ! good luck ! hugs!

[misschocolatee3557]

Well Thanks for that and she is still trying to make me qet an abortion. My appointment is this morning. She keeps saying im not qoing to be here for you and things like that and she will find someplace else to go. I don't have to depend on her for nothing b/c she has already made her decision for me. Only people i have support from is my friends and my bf's mom and him. Im not sure how long we will last but we been toqether for two years and so far he is here. But im qoinq to this appointment b/c im forced. Just know something is there living in my stomache that belongs to me is here, hurts me b/c i dont wanna have to go on killing a child. But enouqhh about me b/c im getting emotional. I hope your pregnancy goes GREAT.!

[OhioYoungMomToBe]

Im 17 and pregnant & I went through just the opposite when I found out. I kind of wanted an abortion because of issues with the father and at the time I was being selfish just wanted to go to college and didnt want to get fat because I just lost a lot of weight and I was worried about not partying anymore, etc. But my mom wouldn't let me because before I was born she had to get an abortion because the fetus wasnt growing right & she said it was the most horrible & depressing time in her life. Its hard being a pregnant teenager though. Especially with you only being 14, people are going to look down on you and call you names. If you don't want an abortion you shouldn't go through with it. It'll emotionally scar you for life. Don't let anyone make your decisions for you. But it'll be difficult also to raise a child without any support from your family since you're too young to get a job. So, I would say adoption is the best option & theres always the possibility that when your mom sees the sonogram or the baby she'll realize it's her grandchild and want it too. I hope the best for you. Let me know how things work out.

[misschocolatee3557]

Thanks for the advice. I will talk more to my parents.

[Hockeystar270]

Have your kid and put it up for adoption! make sure he has a good home! My sister went through the same thing! She is very happy she did it. if you dont do it you wont be able to go to university or college probably cause you will have to watch him or her and then you cant support him or her...

[grendslori]

Have you considered putting your baby up for adoption. There are a lot of couples just dying for the chance to become parents and for one reason or another can't. To be 14 and pregnant is not an easy thing for you to deal with and I commend you for the way you are handling this situation. I also understand your parents view on the matter. If you keep this baby, they will be the ones to have to raise your baby and handle the finances and it can be very expensive to raise a baby nowdays. Sometimes when you are young, you live in the moment; you never consider the future. This boy is your boyfriend only. At 14, the chances of you actually staying with him  (especially now) until you get married is highly unlikely and yet you are going to have to deal with him in an ongoing basis for the next 18 years; that's longer than you have been alive. You have taken on a HUGE responsibility and have forwarded that responsibility to not only your parents, but to your boyfriend's parents as well. You might want to consider the idea of adoption as I said before.