I would pls copy and print what you wrote and give it to your doc. I am 31 and I have been dealing with it for a long time...I just keep going to the doc. I dont know if you smoke weed, but they say it dont help for depression which to me it sounds like you are definetly depressed. Chin up Girl. Life does get better, but you have to help it along with attitude and delegents!! Sometimes just helping out others takes our minds of ourselves. GET OUTSIDE!!!!!, get some sunshine and find a hobby to do outside, like reading, writing, drawing. I promise you its not a phase!!!! Its in your best interest that you dont hold back from the doc ok. Maybe you need a rest and a time out. Take a few steps back and revise and update your life. Just breathing sometimes does the trick! well GOOD LUCK and TAKE CARE!!
I agree with easternnickie you should print this out and bring it to your doctor just cus this is what you are actually feeling. As far as your condition sounds, it sounds like you probably have chronic depression or might be bipolar. They are definitely things you should suggest to your doctor if he/she doesn't think of them. Hope it goes well and don't give up.
Thanks guys you've been really helpful and encouraging :) really appreciate the advice xxx
I am 26 years old and now I need you to read this to the end lol. I find this sentence and your novel-long blog, BUT THIS IS BECAUSE I HAD THIS EXPERIENCE NEARLY WORD FOR WORD, EXACTLY. I was depressed all my life, but my manic symptoms started around age 16. I did not know then that this "mania" because I did not know anything about bipolar disorder and that it was a serious medical condition. I was ignorant and believed it was an excuse for people to be "moody" and make excuses. I did terrible things as the years went on. I went back and forth between the exact way you described here. I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't enjoy even the things I loved and was passionate about. This inability to feel joy at all is called anhedonia; look it up. I would have bouts of almost normal feelings, or what would appear normal to others, but deep down I knew something was wrong with me (unless I was feeling pathetic and guilty and weak). I thought I was immature and whiny and just didn't know how to take responsibility. My husband (I married very early) became less and less patient with me, and so did everyone else. They began to grow tired and felt that I was just living the "misery loves company" life and that it was my my own fault I didn't change because I could if I wanted to. I had no confidence and I hated myself. But around age 22 I had almost an overnight change. I felt confident, more conceited than ever. I thought I was so much more intelligent than everyone else because they were so clueless and sheltered because of their perfect charming lives. That I had overcome such awful pain that they had no idea of, and that I was so superior for not being them- they were empty, pathetic, ignorant people who wouldn't last a day if what I went through what I did. They didn't know real depth, their conversations were so silly and trivial, and their manners prohibited any real conversations and that fake existence was repulsive to me. I told people how stupid they were, that their obliviousness was why they were so joyful and confident people with their comfortable hope, but that they didn't deserve it; they were empty shells and they didn't deserve it because they'd never been tested- not really tested by pain, and they didn't deserve their happiness. I began getting passionate, but not in a normal good way, it was excessive and almost crazy like. People would look at me and kinda roll their eyes by the exaggeration and high-like hyperness. This made me furious. People didn't appreciate how unique I was, how awesome and better than them I was. I never once did drugs- I was adamant about that and for that I am proud because it is VERY common for bipolars who have not been diagnosed or incorrectly diagnosed to lose all hope and resort to street drugs. But what I did begin doing, was something I am haunted by to this day. I slept with every man I came into contact with. People thought I was a nymphomaniac (and I was sexually abused when I was younger, but this was NOT relevant, I know that, I got help right away and I did recover and went back to what at that time was "normal" for us bipolars) but I since I knew it was unrelated I defended my behavior and told people I was "free" for not giving into uptight conventional society. As I said, this started at age 22, and only grew worse as time passed. I did seek help, and I was diagnosed with every disorder you can imagine - Obsessive compulsive disorder (and I had very serious OCD symptoms start at age 16, taking crazy-long showers, even for 2-3 hours at a time) also ADD, Anxiety disorder, panic attack disorder for my panic attacks, ADD, dysthymia and agoraphobia (because I would not leave my house during the depressive episodes), and even borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits during a manic episode with a therapist. I takes an average of 10 YEARS for a bipolar to correctly diagnosed because the doctors witness whatever episode your having when you're with them. That's all they see, and that's what they will go by. You desperately want to cover everything, because you feel this session is so important and you just can't leave anything out, but you can't. There's not enough time, and sometimes they will not ask the right questions.
Just know you're not alone ok? We are here for you..