How is su cks even a bad word????
Yeah. I know that feel.
I'm fourteen too and I was diagnosed with severe depression a few months back. The only reason I'm not in the loony bin right now is because I managed to trick my therapist into thinking I had gotten better. The thing is, no matter how hard it is, you have to keep pushing. Keep moving. I know, it's hard, I've been there. Hell, I'm there now! Even so, I try and I try. I don't have many hopes for my future, but I think if I try, maybe it will get better. Keep thinking about the maybes and what ifs. They've gotten me this far.
You said you wanted to be a polite, right? So why not try and strive for better grades. And I'm saying this because it will get your mind off things. If you're focused on studying and good grades, then you'll not be thinking about how much everything ***** as much!
I would recommend not killing yourself. It's so not worth it. I once wanted myself to suffer, so I cut on myself. Now, that feeling is less so but I'm still thinking I'm a pretty despicable chick. How am I turning my life into an eternal pile of misery? By staying alive. Ok, some of that is a lie. But I did use to cut. And I did almost off myself. I literally stayed up all night with a knife to my throat, reliving my entire life. I realized, there were some good things. You must hold onto these and keep on going. And when you get better, you can flip off all the people who made you feel this way. Including myself, because I'm probably just going to dilute you with my awful advice.
Anyways, don't kill yourself. You're not as bad a human being as I am.
You're too young to lose hope and thinking about harming your self will not help you either. mklarson is offering you a solution to your problem. Might as well cooperate so you can get help in coping with depression. This forum is also open for you to vent what you feel as there are many people here who have the same case as you.Stay strong, stay focused. Help is on its way!
I am guessing that with the holidays around the corner that isn't helping either. Everyone tells us to be happy and singing yet it may be the last thing you want to do...and that makes you feel even worse. Trust me when I say that there are a lot of people on the board with big hearts that are willing to help out when they can. With that said, Can you give a general state and city you might live in or be close to? (DO not give us any street address info..that would be a big no no) There are many of us aware of free resources to help you out there. We can match you up with professionals that can test to see if you "do or do not" have dyslexia (hopefully, some close to you). Other tutors that donate time to those that need help making a subject clear to understand. I, like you, failed miserably in school and had to repeat a few grade years. It was humiliating to see your classmates and friends move up when you stay back with a younger class (multiple times). I finally found a neighbor that had the time to teach me the "hooked on phonics" program and another that taught a "whizkid math program" for kids having problems with math. Within 18 months, not only had I caught up to where I needed to be I was near the top of the class by the end of the year. I now have multiple advanced medical training degrees so am now paying it forward. So, yes there is hope out there and it is time to start building a network of good and helpful friends, pastors, counselors, teachers. We are here at the starting line so let us know what area you are in and we will fire up our board to get things going!