Help with depression and motivation.

[Jordano]

I'm 18 and have been suffering from a very complex depression. I have been diagnosed with Tourettes Syndrome, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (primarily Social Anxiety), and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I take Lexapro and Xanax (as needed). Lexapro has been the only effective medication however it does not help enough nor does it prove to be more effective increasing the dosage. After experiencing repetitive emotional traumas starting at age 13 the depression and anxiety intensified each year. When i switched schools at 16 for a better education things went haywire. I began self-loathing, my anxiety shot up, and there are a lot of poisonous ingredients to this depression that became very complicated. I eventually withdrew from school near the end of my senior year because it was tearing me to pieces. Right now i'm at home trying to finish up two online classes that i need to graduate from this high school. I am not finding the energy to do what needs done. My mind will often drain after only two problems on the homework depending whether it's a good day or bad day. Due to the particular emotional trauma i have a difficult time expressing anger or getting angry as a motivator. I do the opposite and breakdown instead. I am known as a border-line genius and semi-savant and it's been speculated i have Aspergers Syndrome but no diagnosis. All i want to do is have the ability to do what is necessary so i don't waste my life away. It feels like my mind is basically destroying me. I am unhappy 100% of the time. Any recommendations would be great, even the unusual ones of course. For example, i  use to put my head in the freezer a lot almost habitually. That was when i was younger however but for some reason it seemed to calm me down.

[mightaswellask88]

18 was a bad year for me too. I was kind of leaving a teenage era of a lot of changes, a lot of acting out, and a lot of self searching. I am definitely still trying to find out who I really am, but it takes work to be happy. You know what I find helps me? I don't like the feeling of life being stagnant. So I took out a book and wrote down the top ten places I want to visit as soon as I have financial needs. You should do the same too, and I actually recommend going alone as long as youre safe! We live in a very big world, with so much to learn. Sometimes when your surrounded by patterns, and the same things over and over, our minds stop growing and thats when I personally start feeling depressed. The next time its warm out, lay in the grass and just close your eyes and completely forget about your life. Feel the grass, and the sun, and look up and see how high that sky is above you. Sometimes you need to remind yourself how small we are- 18 is young, and it is the beginning of the road to the real world where you're going t experience SO much. Everyone has to go through some hardship in order to fight for our path in life. If life was easy, we wouldn't learn anything, and we wouldnt do any hard thinking as to what we REALLY want. If you're still watching for replies, let's talk!

[seattlemom2plus]

Hi, happened upon your post and wanted to stop by to see how you are doing?  Please keep us updated.