Help

[Yarajadee]

I'm nearly 16 years old and i think I'm depressed. It started over a year ago when me and my mother were having problems, we were always arguing and yelling there was never a day where I wouldn't cry, this continued on till early his year where it only got worse, I was getting kicked out of home/ running away, I would spend most weekends drinking or smoking because I couldn't be sober because it felt like my thoughts would destroy me, not only problems with my mum I started to argue with everyone in my family they would shame me out on public media, it got to the point I blocked them all because I just couldn't read what they had to say, I lost motivation to go to school so I stopped going I completely went down hill, I quit my job. I had gone from being a pretty successful high school student with perfect grades and lots of good references to a complete drop kick. Every single day I feel like there is no reason for my existence, I feel as if I'm no good to this world and I'm constinly crying and contemplating death, I have never fully attempted but I have writing a suicide note but ended up talking myself out of it, I keep holding on thinking things will get better but they haven't, I still sad every second of the day, I'm not completely myself anymore, I miss what it feels likes to be actually happy. I am way to scared to tell anyone because I don't want people to think I'm seeking attention, I really don't want any one sympathy I have even made up a fake name on here I want to remain as anonymous as possible I am embarrassed to tell anyone I feel like my mum is going to turn around and tell me that I'm over exaggerating, I feel like she doesn't care. She has seen my scars and she just tells me to stop doing it, she never ask if I'm okay or try's to get me help and it makes me feel like more **** that no one cares if I'm alive or dead. I just want to know what I can do I'm so over feeling so worthless and sad I miss being happy I wanna change my life back to how it was.

[Klaraj7]

You need to know that you are not the only one going through this. My father has depression as well. Plus a whole lot of psychotic issues. Depression is very hard but not impossible to help. Find someone who can listen to you. Even if it is a support orginazation or people at church. Sometimes people that are not your family can be better than your family. Do not give up. I would suggest telling someone about it and how bad it is. Anybody you can reach out to try and tell them how you are feeling. You may need depression meds or other things and can get help from a doctor. Also try to find natural things to help depression. This is hard but you are young and with help,support, and understanding it will be easier to get through this. God bless.