I need your help...

[Dan2995]

Hi, im a 19 year old girl, a type of person who loves to mingle with everyone, meet new friends and attend rave parties. I love that life. But suddenly it all ****** up like my grades went down ive become an irregular student in college which means more effin years till i graduate.  I dont know i seemed lost. I lost focus at everything like i dont know what to do with my life.I feel so alone thats why im trying to fit with everyone else. Maybe it all started out when i knew i was adopted when i was like 14. I was pressured by the idea that i was adopted like everyone my relatives know it while i dont it pressures me in a way that i must be that good girl who must be good at school have a good job. Everyone else keeps an eye on me. I have the idea that i want to prove that i am worth it to my parents thats why i went for engineering for college. But because of all this pressure in my mind it seems that i dont know what to do. I became lost not caring for school, smoke and go to clubs.
Things have changed lately i became unsociable no more parties no more jammings and its like i dont have interest in school at all like im absent most of the time and just lay on my bed and be alone. And i get tired of getting along with everyone like i want to be alone. I have loving parents and i know they will do everything for me but i just feel different from everyone now. And i never attempted to commit suicide or whatever it sounds stupid its like it will not solve any of your problems. Now my question is what will i do? It seems all is ****** up with school especially its like my future. How will i cope up and motivate myself to go on with my life? And should i stay away from my college friendsfor my sake? Becaude i think its diffrnt from my friends back in highschool. They dont care at all like they are there only for good times, they are the people ive been with in my college years should i be alone and focus in my studies?

[Joel4296]

even I'm facing same kinda depression ...so u if u solved ur problems pls helo me

[Dan2995]

Thank you i never thought that there is someone that also feels my worries and pain thank you for the advice :) good luck to us. Ill try my very best and find my true happiness. Ive realized becoming an adult and facing the reality is also another factor why im stressed out its like i always think whats coming next like im afraid of my future and i dont have someone like a sister to brother to help me take care of my parents when they grow old, can i support them thats the question ive been thinking all the time.

[SJadeT]

Hi, I totally understand where you are coming from. I'm your age too, and though I haven't been diagnosed with depression I think that's what I have. I used to love going to parties, went on one of those girls holidays, now I went to uni and when everyone was going mad on their freshers week, I just felt so alone. And now I'm part of a cheerleading team, could often think of nothing worse than going on their socials, once my boyfriend came over and I burst into tears at the thought of going on the social (without him). I love my friends and family, and nothing is 'wrong' with my life. But I've always been so motivated, wanted a good job and prove myself to everyone. But I think that pressure takes a toll on you and it's a weight you can only hold on your shoulders for so long. I feel different to my friends at the moment.
I think we are just finding ourselves, and that transition to becoming an adult is stressful and people deal with things in different ways. I used to love clubbing, now I don't would rather just go to bars- maybe this is just growing up? Find what makes you happy, and that's enough to keep you going, I started rock climbing, it's a new hobby and has given me back some passion for life. As with the degree- don't make yourself miserable for three years or whatever. As a third year now, I've realised theres more to life than a sheet of paper, and with good high school exams, ill get somewhere.
Good luck, keep smiling