I am 17 and all my life I have moved around continously. I have never lived in a place for longer than three years and recently my family has moved again. Due to this move, I had to enroll in a new school and I have to repeat a year due to some past circumstances that happened to me. I did not get to finish a semester in grade 10 properly because I was in a city where a forest fire took place, and I had to evacuate that city. When I did grade 11, I found that the past courses that I did not get to complete fully was affecting my understanding of the courses I was studying that year, and my whole grade 11 year i struggled tremendously. Since I am redoing grade 11 currently, I feel very insecure and self conscious because I am older than everyone in my classes, I am not around familiar faces, and I also do not have the greatest academic intelligence. I am a very shy individual and I used to be very suicidal when I was 15, and I have tried to take my life on multiple occasions. When I was younger I was physically abused by my brother and recently I have realized how much it has mentally impacted me in so many negative ways and I have been thinking of those past experiences a lot more. I broke down and cried to one of my teachers after school while I was asking for help on school material and she booked an appointment with my guidance counsellor, I spoke to her and I booked another appointment where I want to speak more in depth of how I am feeling psychologically, however I am not sure if I should be asking for so much from mere workers at school, and it also takes me a great deal of mental effort to explain how I am feeling to someone since I hate people seeing me in a vulnerable state because I am very prideful. When I was 13 I believe I was very depressed, I never got professional help so this is all self diagnosed, I wouldn't go to school and I felt so miserable and empty. I wasn't capable of shedding tears, I felt like I had no purpose and I was just living for the sake of living. My outlook on many aspects of my life have changed over the years, but I believe that I am returning to the depressive state I was in when I was 13. I don't specifically know how to organize all my thoughts, and at this point I just explained my life story and not really what i'm feeling mentally but I don't really know how to explain what i'm feeling exactly either. My family isn't financially the best, so i'm not sure how I can seek professional help either. My mother knows about how I think I am depressed, and though at first she didn't take me seriously (i'm not sure if even now she takes me seriously) she has acknowledged that there is something mentally wrong with me. I would appreciate any type of advice!