Is this an obsession or is just curiosity?

[luvleoido]

Ok, I just joined this website hoping for some answers. I've had these strange feelings that I want to know more about my therapist. Their not sexual in anyway, I'm just really curious about her outside life.
You see, I go to a boarding school and she is the school counselor. I see her once a week sometimes more or less. I like her a lot, she's nice and funny, and confidential. I've been seeing her for 2...eh 3 this year, years. I trust her I do, but these thoughts keep buzzing in my head saying "u want to know more".
I haven't told her yet, mostly because I don't know what to say "uh, hey I like you alot, may even be obsessed with you?"
I just need some suggestions on how to talk about it. I've researched Transference, but I don't see how to cure it.

Thanks

[liz725]

I'm sure if you tell her, she'll make you fell so comfortable. Because that's her job. She may  even fine a word for it. Maybe it's common.  you don't know until you try.

[trish934]

hi there

i don't think its a bad thing to feel so about someone. anyone i get to close with i do feel like that but know when to put a stop to it before things get out of hand. also i think you should try and calm explained to her how you feel and if its normal?

please get back to me on this one?

[Judy246]

I agree with LeftCoastChick, it's normal and natural to be curious and even attracted to her, but that is as far as you should go with this potential "obsession".  

Obsessions can be trouble and dangerous. It is her job to help you, that is what she went to college to study, but you are under age and if she would take it any further, it would be unprofessional, illegal. lose her job and it could become quite a mess.  If you continue to have this attraction/curiosity, I recommend another therapist.  Good luck!

Judy

[LeftCoastChick]

It's pretty normal to be curious if you trust your therapist, but if you act on it, or try to contact her outside of your appt's, then you have an issue. If you think you are "obssessed", you might be, it's your mind's monitor that's telling you. If you can't stop, then it would be best to switch. Do you have a psychiatrist as well and/or on meds?

[birdie0907]

I just noticed you list your condition as major depressive on your home page. Have you been diagnosed with this, and if so are you taking meds?
I assume your counselor is aware of this situation. Please write back.

[birdie0907]

I once invited my therapist to a social gathering, but they declined, and after a while I could see why. I was lonely just for a friend after a split-up and my counselor kept saying they had more in common with me when it came to entertainment preferences, than their fiance, however I misread those comments to mean they would be my friend. The reality was the counselor would have a hard time separating the counseling from the friendship, so they choose their job.

Therapy is no place to develop either a romance (which you say is not your interest), friendship or an obsession. Therapy needs to be 100% business.
You are a vulnerable 16 year old girl, while seeking therapy, so I doubt she would be in any legal position to say, "I am also obsessed with you" in one breath and tell you how to work through growing up issues in another.
I question whether your counselor sees the situation as a budding friendship at this point anyway, because I am guessing that a 16 year old girl probably could be happier developing friends in her own circle instead. Counselors see a lot of people, and they avoid developing relationships with their clients.

Write back.


PS. Is it possible to get another counselor from now on? Good therapists are a dime a dozen, so a switch would help you focus on the real issues you have (which you didn't describe) such as discussing how to enjoy your own life during your sessions.