Avatar universal

My life is falling apart

My older brother is autisitc. He drives me crazy. All the time. Today was the last straw. I'm not going into details but we had a massive argument, and I ended up breaking down in tears. Im only 11, nearly 12, he is 15. I always feel like the older sibling, I have so much stress (espically because I got so much HW). My parents are always fighting too, so that doesn't help too. I know that many people who have autistic siblings really love them, but my brother is only my half brother, so I don't feel as if we are as close as we could be. Me and my brother go to the same school. Most of my friends know who he is. He doesn't look anything like me, hes always in fights and he is always getting teased. He even talks to stranger when we go to school, a lot. So my question is, how do I cope with everything? Espically my autistic brother.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
Please count your blessings and instead be considerate of your brother
When you grow older you will understand how lucky you are. N please pray.God loves you
1548028 tn?1324612446
How sad for your half brother!  Half brother or not he is a person who did not choose to be like this.  You are so very lucky not to have his issues and be able to fit in.  My heart breaks that he is picked on and made fun of.  Please try and be a role model for the right reactions and the right decisions should be.  He cannot help who he is and what he does.  Read as much as you can to understand autism.  This might give you some great tips on how to handle his situations.  I agree you will understand more when you are older.  For now, try to lead by example and enjoy your activities and your friends!  Regardless of what is going on at home get your education, make right choices, pick good friends and you be the best you can be!  ((hugs))
1548028 tn?1324612446
By the way, alana_banana, I would never guess you are 11 almost 12!  You write your thoughts very well!  Smart girl and well written about how you feel!
Avatar universal
I can understand somewhat. I'm a girl and my brother is autistic and my parents fought a lot, and not any fight that is healthy to be around for even a second.. I was very depressed from about age 11 onwards and I'm currently 23 lol. There is a ton of stress with a sibling that has this problem and even though you know he's suffering and he's the one with the disability, you do too. Because you're handicapped by not having a disability. I always felt like my parents didn't pay attention to me and like my brother (who's 5 years older btw) was spoiled. Even though I love him inside I acknowledge more my "hate" for him. I write it that way because it's not that I hate him but that his constant talking and fighting with me has pushed me past my limits AND has not relented. The difference between you and I is that we did not attend the same school and we are full siblings (though we look nothing alike). But half or full, a sibling is blood and though I have a  half-sister I've never thought of her as anything less than MY sister. Get rid that barrier and don't distance yourself from him. You're probably bitter, and it's understandable, but I know from experience that knowing my brother (now 28) was never in a relationship and never could experience the things I have... that even though I suffer still and I hate that no one will pay attention to my stress, that he's just a kid inside and no matter how much attention and care he gets that people will always try to hurt him and he knows it. It's a blessing and a curse. The truth is you may wish to be free from having a brother with autism but you're always going to be suffering together. And just like few understand you, few understand him. Your brother sounds like he's hurting, and so do you. Try to.... realize that everything will be okay if you look at your situation for what it actually is instead of letting the stress get to you and feeling sorry for yourself. I'm not trying to say just get over it because literally 30 minutes ago I was having an argument with mine and God knows I've cried and cried and wanted to bash my head against something so that I could get away from the headaches and stress. It's really hard but it's gonna weigh on you if you let anyone pick on him and distance yourself from him. I can fight and curse and tell him to shut up because he knows me and says it back but to see someone that's not me do it makes my blood boil, especially since I saw him cry once and especially because he stays quiet until he's home again and raises hell. I really suggest reading up more on what your brother has, because I'm doing the same for the same reasons.

Feel free to comment here if you need to vent or talk. You're young, you have a long time left before you get to go off to college or wherever at 18.. and it's easy to think about doing some crazy things to punish everyone/seek attention/relax/not care anymore. Fortunately I've never tried any drug or drank unless I was relaxing with family so I'm pretty responsible but there's a ton of anger and sadness there too. If you decide not to but you've at least read this, try to feel better and do what you can to keep yourself healthy so the suffering for the both of you doesn't increase.
4059843 tn?1541419296
Hello. I think i would have to agree with everyone else. Do some research, and find some tips on autism. That may do you alot of good, and give you help on how to cope. I have a friend who is exactly like you, or who was anyway. She is only 2 years older than you, and has an autistic older brother (much older than yours), but either way it must have been difficult. I apologise, for I cannot relate personally to your situation, but i have heard from my friends mother that after some time, you get used to it. Yes it is painful, and stressful, and goodness knows what else....But as you mature and grow older, I can guarantee you, you will learn to cope alot better. Your a smart girl....I know you can do it!
Good luck!
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