Should I tell my parents about my suicidal desires?

[Miakami]

I've been depressed for about 6 years, since right before middle school. I was in an extremely negative environment with my dad and stepmom since 4th grade, but I moved in with my mom my freshman year. Tbh, I didn't think anything was wrong with me, other than always feeling awful and being scared to go home, but last year I became suicidal. I'm literally thinking of ways to acquire a firearm, and I'm just drowning in guilt and disappointment. I want to die, but I cant just leave a bloody corpse for my parents to find, after everything they've done for me. My dad is now on the other side of the U.S and I doubt he'd want to fly back over here for his daughter's funeral. I'm thinking of requesting to have no funeral, it would just be a waste of their money anyways. So now, its between me doing what I want to do, or doing whats best for my family. I've told my mom in the past that I was depressed and had suicidal thoughts, but she told me it was because of my pill dosage. (which stopped awhile ago, so I know that it wasnt because of that) I cant tell my friends, if I can even call them that. They wouldn't even notice me missing, so that makes it easier I suppose?

I'm just so stressed out here, I'm losing more sleep than I usually do. I dont want to live, but I dont want to do this to my family either. Would seeing someone even be worth it? And should I confess to my parents or keep it to myself?

[tjewells]

Yes!  Seeing someone and talking to someone would DEFINITELY be worth it!  If you're not ready to talk to your parents then maybe start by talking to an in school counselor (Hopefully there's one available at your school)  Depression is just a chemical imbalance that is fueled by outside sources, feelings can and will change with help and therapy.  There is hope, you just have to make the first step.  :)