Aa
A
A
A
Close
Teen Mental Health Issues Community
1.46k Members
Avatar universal

Suicidal/ Depressed boyfriend, long distance relationship

My boyfriend of almost a year is suicidal. Before we were together he was my best friend for 3 years.
When we started dating, I was depressed (not as badly as him but pretty bad), and he helped me through it. Now I am a year abroad and he is talking about suicide and depression and how he's not worth anything. He says he has no happiness. I tell him that I will kill myself if he harms himself and to think about me and not be stupid. I am away on a very prestigious scholarship, but he wants me to come home to be with him. The original plan was for him to come here, but in the past week, he changed his mind completely saying he doesn't have the energy or motivation and that it's not worth it to come.... But he wants me home because that's where it all started. He wanted to propose to me this year (within the next few months). Every time I mention him coming he gets upset and starts trying to leave me. Over the smallest of things he tries to leave me, but cries and apologizes and begs for us to be together an hour later. This is really draining me and dragging me into a state of depression as well. I've told him to pull himself together but he just says he's failed me and tells me to leave him. I love this guy.... And I can't leave him. Even if this is unhealthy for me.
Please help me. I really need advice.
7 Responses
Avatar universal
do u know what's made him worse? stress family anything? it could be something more is getting to him..maybe u can talk to him and find out..and get him to come there or visit the next break u get or for a weekend? I hope it gets better
Avatar universal
When I left he got really depressed and he keeps saying I left him. He wants me to give up my scholarship and ce back.

When I talk to him about coming here he says no and gets really mad. It usually starts a huge fight.
Avatar universal
but if u still r in a relationship and love each other and trying to make things work u haven't left him. it heart is with him always:( does he know even with distance it feelings haven't changed? I've been where u r situational wise. is something stopping him from coming to u other than he changed his mind?
Avatar universal
We are still together. I love him too much. It's unhealthy even. He says he loves me too and I would suppose it's true since he hasn't left for good.
I spend a lot of time trying to make him happy and I've become a rag which he throws around. He doesn't ask me how I'm doing anymore or inquire about my situation.  He said it was was more trouble that it was worth to come. He doesn't want to anymore.  
Avatar universal
He said that his safe haven (aka me) is gone. Now he has to learn to live without love and he's repeating the same cycle of depression, reckless behavior, stability, loss of stability and repeat.
Avatar universal
u can't just give up school tho :/ his haven isn't gone really he still can talk to u when he needs and wants to. is there a weekend u can talk face to face with him?
Avatar universal
We skype every other day or so.
He doesn't want to talk to anyone.
I just need to convince him to come here somehow
Have an Answer?
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Discover the common symptoms of and treatment options for depression.
We've got five strategies to foster happiness in your everyday life.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
For people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the COVID-19 pandemic can be particularly challenging.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.