its not just a scar

[leah1503]

im so scared, i feel like what ever i do i end up with a chance of heartbreak, but i guess for me heartbreak is impossible considering my dad made it so it wasnt even whole to start with. he may have made me strong but i dont think abusing someone is very helpful which is what he did.

i just wish just one time i could walk home form school and say dad or daddy im home and be greeted with a hug and saying how was your day i missed you.

i just wan a dad but not an abusive one. all he did was leave me heartbroken with a scar that hurts everyday and will never heal

[EpicMango]

Dear Leah:

I know you get several posts semi-daily about what you should and shouldnt do...Please read this one, too.

My father, an evil man, verbally abused my mother and, while i was a baby, threw me down the stairs, kicked me in the head, molested me, up till i was 5 when my mother packed me and my little sister up (my sister excaped his abuse, to him she was the perfect child, therefore got praise, and i got beatings..i dont hate her for it at all, its him not her and not me) and drove off several states away to her parents house. My mother knew all along what she had to do to stop it...you KNOW what you have to do to stop it...its just summmoning up the courage to speak out against someone who is suposed to love you..there is the real problem.

...but darling if he loved you, i mean truly loved you....he would never of done this to you.

Seek help, immediately, before he goes one step too far and kills you or your mother.

[CinemaGirl90]

How long have you been feeling down Leah?
Have you considered speaking to anyone about how you're feeling?
If you're still at school, I'd really reccomend talking to a counsellor, or a nurse even, it might actually make you feel better. I've had a lot of family problems, and, mainly with my Dad as well, although it's complete emotional abuse.
I was nervous and very anxious before I plucked up the courage to talk to a counsellor. I would desperately seek medical attention though as well, your doctor can be a support emotionally and physically. Please seek some proper help and don't let this just continue, it's not fair on you.
I hope you feel better soon
xxx

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

Abuse tends to involve a failure of impulse control.  While I suppose its possible, I doubt that he is unaware that he's hurting hr.  It seems to me much more likely that he either doesn't care, or has trouble controlling himself.  

[kerryberry17]

C'mon, don't let your dad break your heart!! There are other ppl out there who love you, and if you have a broken heart, how can you ever accept others love?
Have you ever tried just sitting down and talking to your dad and letting him know how you feel? And how he hurts you when he abuses you like he does? If you talked to him and let him know that, maybe he will start to realize that he really is hurting you. You could always go and see a family counsle, or, you could always just run up to him and cry and hug him, and he will start to feel sorrow for you. Hugs always warm a person up. I"ve done that to my dad before, and it worked!!! You should try it, serious.
But just so you know, there are other people our there who love you and to share your heart with.  There are lots of people, like me, who care. So, you should stop letting your dad get to you and start looking on the bright side. Maybe if you ignore him and not get worked up about it and at least pretend it doesn't bother you even though it really does(he don't know that!), he will stop cuz he sees that it stops bothering you. Well, best of luck!!
Kerry

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

I know the feeling, believe me.  
Hearts can break more than once, even if the old break hasn't healed yet.  Anything you put an emotional investment into carries some risk of heartbreak, it's a question of figuring out which investments are worth it.  A few years ago I was extremely risk averse in freindships and relationships.  But I made a couple of calls that the impulse to avoid pain, and for that matter the people around me, tried to say would get me hurt, and now I have something that passes for a family, in an unconventional way.  
Taking a chance and trusting is the only way to heal; just make sure to choose carefully.