Avatar universal

where am i going from here

I am 16.  I feel so incredibly stuck.  I hate that its summer.  I have basically no friends and NOTHING to do.  I just sit at home alone.  Both my sisters are away, my mom has a lot of work to do and my dad is always at work.  I just want to sleep all day.  I can't think anymore, it hurts too much.  I have been drained of all my energy and from that I hate myself.  I feel like a failure because I know I am a person that is so determined and happy but that person died.  I have been lead to so much disappointment in my life as a result of incredibly hard work I have put into everything I do and it never pays off.  It makes me feel like a loser and that nothing can ever happen for me.  When I think about it I am amazed by how much fate hates me.  I sound so angsty but its how I feel and I can't help but feel stuck.  I want to be able to move on and be strong but I have no more energy.  I feel like such a loser.  Also my dad is thinking about moving across the country which would be great because it would be to somewhere I would love but I doubt it will happen because anything that would be good for me, wont happen.  Also my parents won't let me go on a trip that I am dying to go on because they don't want to be responsible if something happens.  

I just need some kind of light at the end of the tunnel
3 Responses
1390847 tn?1344657468
It seems like you have a lot of free time.  One thing I've noticed in life is when I have too much free time, it's never good. Depression and anxiety sky rocket.
I very much understand the feeling of being stuck.  I know how generic this will sound but you have the ability to change around your life, or make decisions that will lead to something better.  Being 16- it is harder, because you have to listen to parents etc, but really- do things for yourself.
Why not look for a job? It will consume time, you will make your own money, buy your own things.  You could connect with other people other than your family.
If that's not an option, I suggest picking up a hobby.  Things like painting, writing, learning an instrument, learning a language, running...all those things sort of force you to make goals for yourself, and when you achieve them you feel great.  Like running...try every week to take a second or 2 off your mile time.  Or paint a mural.  Or learn to play a song on the piano or say some sentences in arabic (i did that).  It takes your mind off things and focuses on that one hobby that will make you unique.  It gives you something to be proud about.
Whatever you do, dont give up! You say nothing ever pays off...but I'm sure in some ways, maybe little ways you dont realize, it does.  If you try and fail...at least you tried.  If you give up, well then its almost an insult to yourself.
Things will be ok.  Your 16, you have youre whole life.  You are already old enough to make your own decisions, and as you get older you will only be more free to make your own decisions.  Dont give up. Life is certainly not easy but it is what you make of it
Avatar universal
Start venting all this on your parents. My parents did the exact same thing to me-even scaring me out of getting a driver's license to keep me at home as a personal slave! Scream if you have to-GET INTO FAMILLY COUNSELING BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!  Obviously the absence of a true family environment is destroying you. It did me for 18 years. I am 20 now and living with my aunt away from them, and I told them we needed therapy. They thought I was nuts-until I brought up memories they swear didn't happen, and if there is one thing I know-i have an excellent memory. Over controlling and over bearing parents like the kind you described create monsters.
Tell your parents that with you being home alone all of the time is starting to literally drive you insane. Possibly suicidal. And note people are raised on videogames. If you need videogames, family safe is always the Nintendo all stars...or Mario, legend of Zelda, yoshi's island, Kirby, warrior, star fox-all are Nintendo titles rated E for everyone. That should keep you busy.
Avatar universal
Bro, I'm there right now. I just play Halo and stare at the walls and wonder what it'd be like to die. I don't know how to get a job, I have no friends near to hang out with, and spend a lot of time walking around in the dark listening to Three Days Grace. I feel like I have no purpose in life, like my life is the same thing that has happened a thousand times and isn't special in any way. Just kinda wish I had something to take my mind off all this philosophy stuff that runs through my head.
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