13 & pregnant

[nic435]

Whats best for me to do i need some support from others, im 8 weeks 3 days

[mmcdaniel87]

Are you looking at all perspectives? You said you don't want to report him because he fathered your child, etc.... Look at it this way... Don't report him, let him come back and rape you again and again. Then he can go rape other girls, get them all pregnant. He thinks it's okay, hell no one is reporting him. Not to mention he's an adult, he raped a child. He is a pedophile, it's pretty disgusting, what else is he capable of? Say your baby is a girl, the same thing happens to her, what are you going to do about it? I'd be ready to kill someone, no joke. How are you going to let him walk away and not pay for his actions? I'm sorry if it sounds extreme, but it's something to consider. Don't let him hurt you again, next time could be worse.

[nic435]

That helped alot thanks for that xx

[desi0318]

I was 13 when I got pregnant with my daughter. From that time on, It was anything but easy & I made a lot mistakes along the way. I had her at 14 & for the first two years I did not support her financially because I was too young to get a regular job. When I did have moneyy it always went to her. At the age of 16 I got a job at McDonalds and worked there part time while I attended school full time. At 17 I began working full time there & part time at school. At 18 I graduated high school on time & received a full ride scholarship to a local umiversity. Regardless of alllll the struggles & trying to stay focused while I was still a kid myself, I pulled through. Im now 19, my daughter & I have our own place, I work 2 part time jobs at my university & go to college full time. & i did/do this on my own because I do not come from a family of money.  I guess what I am tryng to say is IF you decide to keep your baby it is NOT going to be easy. To be a good parent you are going to have to give up your childhood. Begin working early so you can pay for your child's needs but also work towards the future so you dont always have to struggle. While doing all of this you wont have as much time with your baby as you would like. But the time you do have you will make it quality time. If you are put in this position dont let people make you feel bad. Because most moms sacrifice time with their child to work, etc. Feel free to direct message me I would love to be of assistance if you ever need someone to talk to. But the one thing I really think you need to do is tell your mom. My mom was of course extremely disappointed and sad when I told her but she also turned out to be my BIGGEST supporter.  I hope this helps.. again feel free to direct message me.

[Krystalstarr]

I think what you are doing is beautiful .. not many girls these days step up as you can see everyone wants u to abort or adopt the baby out but the best thing for you and the baby is you no one can replace that at all ive been there done that and not wanting to report the father is your decision dont be presured in to anything else by anyone cause them tryin to force u to tell or get rid of the baby is them dpimg the same as the boy peer presure alot of it now days cpngrats to your baby mother hood isba beautiful thing i wish you all the best

[nic435]

Thanks for that

[thaiworld]

If u tell your mom, or a friend it will be easier on you.

[electr1fy]

Definitely tell your parents. I would try and get some counselling and maybe take some parenting classes if you in fact decide to keep the child.

[AnnabelWilson18]

If you are mature enough to have this much knowledge and not run to an abortion clinic then I think you'll be a better mom than any other normal 13 year old would be.  You seem to be mentally older than 13 and you'll do just fine especially with the help of your parents :)  

As for the 19 year old that did this.  Is the baby a blessing?  Yes, always, no matter the circumstances.  Regardless of that, he could be raping other girls too.  Think about how many of them are like you, and just cant find it in themselves to tell anyone.  A lot.  You might be the first to tell, and you might save an 11, 12, 13 year old girl as his next victim or someine even younger.  Every body is going to need to know who the father is.

You know it's the right thing to tell.  You dont have to tell anybody exceot your mom or dad.  Im sure they will take care of it from there hun!  

[CHXSINGNOV]

All I was trying to point out is you'll be needing help, never said you aren't going to give it your all. I would've been scared sh!less at 13, I'm glad you're keeping the baby; I just want you to knoq in the long run you can avoid having to deal with difficulties by yourself. And like other people have stated, no one under age is going to be allowed in most states to just get medical attention concering that.

[nic435]

Please dont tell me that i cant do much for my baby because im gonna give it my all and give the baby the life he/she deserves and needs. I know your trying to help here but this is so much to take in at once i could do without the grief really.

[CHXSINGNOV]

It's been 8 weeks, the longer you go on not reporting him will only make the situation more difficult.  Not trying to be judgemental or anything but you should really consider talking to your parents? Not like you can hide pregnancy dear :/ And there's not much you can do on your own for your child at 13. Talk to your mom, I'm sure she will help you.

[nic435]

I dont want to report him because im keeping the baby and i guess the way my baby was concieved  was awful but hes the father even though i dont want him to have anything to do with the baby. And i cannot bring myself to do it !!x

[biry10]

Why don't you want to report him?? I don't want to pressure you or make you feel bad but can't you understand that maybe you are not the only one he did it with and maybe he could have done it to other girls as well?? Can't you understand that you can be saving or helping other girls too by reporting the person that forced you?? All i see you doing is thanking people for the support but i don't see anything about you wanting to report him. I have a 13 yr old sister and just by thinking that this could happen to her it brings tears to my eyes honestly. I hope you make the best decision for you and your baby since you are really young and could even bring difficulties on your labor and your baby i honestly hope to god it goes well with you and your baby but girl REPORT him!!!!!!!!! There's no doubt of wanting to or not!

[nic435]

Ill sort something dont worry x

[specialmom]

Honey, I'm not sure if you can get a 'scan' at 8 weeks at a clinic on your own without a parent.  I'm not sure it really works that way.  You have to drive you to a clinic?  You have identification?  In my state, minors need a guardian to sign off on medical care.  Scans (are you referring to an ultrasound?) are an expensive procedure.  And I know that in my area, they aren't given just when you ask for them.  A doctor orders that and I had ONE my entire first pregnancy and two my second.  

??  

Anyway, I wouldn't wait.  You need someone to help you navigating even just the prenatal care.  
good luck

[nic435]

Im going to speak to them after a scan, and thanks for your help x

[specialmom]

I do encourage you to talk to your parents.  Your last sentence of your post above this one really says a lot.  

good luck!

[nic435]

Thank you very much all^^^


My desicion is made now tho and i dont feel i could ever give my baby to another family or terminate my baby, he/she is my resposibility and part of me now and everyday since i found out i was pregnant ive become more attatched to my baby! i just want to do best for my child and not give him/her a bad upbringing :(

[specialmom]

Well, your parents are wealthy sweetie but you aren't.  You're a minor and they support you.  

Being a mom at 13 basically means they will be raising two children.  And that is where they will hopefully continue to be supportive of you because you AND your baby will be dependent on them to do so.  

No one doubts good intention but I can just tell you as an adult who planned my pregnancies, motherhood is very hard.  It just is.  You're tired a lot. And you have to have child care in order to go to school and work and therefore, any free time not in work or school will mean you are caring for baby which means social lives become very nonexistent.  

I'm sure you can do it but don't underestimate how difficult it will be.  And when you talk to your parents, it's important to be realistic about it.  That will help them have a sense of security that you are maturing and have a better chance of making it work.  

Remember, it's no longer just about you and your feelings but what is best for the baby.  And as long as your parents are going to help parent and care for the baby, then it should be okay.  But at 13, you do require that help.  

Good luck when you tell them and no one is underestimating YOU.  It's probably more a matter of wondering if you understand all that is about to happen to your life.  But either way, a strong desire to accomplish something and overcome challenges and love of your child will take you a long way and hopefully all will work out fine.  Wishing you the very best.  peace

[mommybrandyozuna]

Good luck! I hope u make good choices and also smart ones! I'm not saying to keep it or not I had a child at 13 cause I was raped and I gave it for adoption and I lived my life I wonder about him sometimes but I know he went to a good family and hopefully grew up to be a nice young man I'm 28 now and that makes him 15 life does go on and now I'm pregnant with my 2nd little girl and have been married for 8 yrs! It's all worth it whatever choice u make! I'm just terrified of something like this for my girls! I fully plan on getting them on the iud implant as soon ands they get there periods!

[EllaMari]

Yikes. This is quite the situation. A couple of things. Legally you are not old enough to consent to sex, especially with a 19 year old. He raped you. Because of your age chances are very good CPS and the police are going to get involved whether you want them to or not. No 19 year old should be pressuring a 13 year ear old into sex.

He will become a sex offender and he will go to jail. You a not be able to get child support from him because of this. This situation is going to be emotionally difficult and complicated. You need to talk to your mom ASAP. You are going to need her to help financially support you and your child as well as raise him/her. I would hope you do not feel as though you did anything wrong, because you didn't. I understand you love your baby and want what's best for him/her but don't feel that you need to 'step up and take responsibility' for a situation you are not responsible for. I hope you aren't opposed to adoption because you feel it the easy way out or that you feel guilty over what happened and feel your pregnancy is a punishment. Sometimes victims feel this way. But children are not punishments and adoption isn't an immature or easy decision. That being said, I respect and support you in whatever you choose.

Sweetie, I hope really you are able to find a lot of support from those closest to you and some professional help to help you navigate the rough road ahead. Lots of love, support, and healing to you.

[nic435]

Im going to get a checkup at the prenatal clinic tomorrow too, to makesure my babys okay and doing fine. Im also going to take weekly classes till the birth ensuring i start parenthood the best i can. People will unterestimate the mother i will try to become but im gonna try block their opinions because its me who truley knows, and already i feel a bond with my baby and i know parting with him/her will be out of the question! im gonna try my hardest !

[nic435]

Thanks xx for everyone wondering i come from a wealthy family so financial issues will never be a problem, and i know now i want to keep my baby and give him/her the life it deserves and nobody can change my mind now

[specialmom]

Ya know, adoption can be a beautiful thing in a situation like this.  And you can choose to have an open adoption.  That would mean you would know the child but allow a couple that is in the position to do so, care for your child.  It can really be such a wonderful thing for everyone involved. And then when you are an independent adult, you can start your own family.  So, it's the best of both worlds.  You can know your baby but be able to live your life as a young teen should.  

Just an idea to think about.  Best of luck to you dear