My son is gonna be a daddy

[Cherie762]

he will be 18 in a month his gf is only 16 baby due November just found out I am upset, nervous yet want to be helpful and supportive...I told my son well your a man now this is your child not mine I will Help but not raise this baby,,,we are calm , but shocked..He is off for the army in August...this is really bad timing Im in school full time who will atch this baby,I love his gf..already feel like shes a daughter,,,Idk,,,,help from someone whos been through the same

[Cherie762]

some great advice thanks,,Im calming a bit as I expect all will, My sons gf and I had a long talk today,,she just broke into major tears I held her like a baby,,,she needed that my son is being very kind and supportive.She needa an adult womans help also..Her mom abandoned her when she was 2 and her step moms too  they get along ok,,she was/is being raised mostly bu her alcoholic always gone dad...Im the most stable adult she has and I do love her..she is very sweet/naieve(sp) but the milk is spilt...they dont want abortiion or adoption so I will help,..I will educate and advise...I told her today just tke it a month at a time,,,we talked about the importance of nutrition and that means she cant live off fast food any more...she asked me to be in the room when the babys born and I am thrilled.

My son and her at this time want to marry either when she graduates high school or when his tour is over..alot could happen between now and then..I think its best for her to stay home and finish high school atleast here she has me, her step mom...I dont know where my son will be stationed if its in a war zone sure shed get housing but shes not emotionally ready to live on her own now,,somehow it will all be ok...my son will have the income for childsupport plus he will be a daddy too ( on leaves and when he gets out) hes a good hearted kid with good morals..)  she will need advice and I will do the best I can....only if things got abusive at her home would i let her live with us....We do have a bigger house but she is not my daughter,,she has parents ( her step mom adopted her ) so she must love her...she will be on her parents insurance and the baby will be on militay insurance ..through my son...Im sure the baby will not go without...as far as love or material things...the shicks wearing off and seeing how very frightend Holly is really moved me today.

[heatherlynn22]

the housing shouldn't be an issue for your son. if he's in the military once he's out of boot....i'm not sure about the army but i know with the marines after the first tour (which is usually a year) the wife/fiance/gf and children could go with the marine. they gave bha (basic housing assistance, which the amount was determined on the location the marine was stationed and changed whenever his station was changed) so that the marine could provide a home for his family. then he could live there instead of in the barracks with his s/o and children. OR what my dh and i did was after we were married and i was pregnant (since the crime rate was unbelievably high near the base where we would've had to live) we got our place up here in pgh. he traveled back and from on the weekends. friday nights he'd come home and sunday's he'd go back. so he had a room in the barracks but they still gave him bha so that we had our place. (he explained that since i was pregnant with twins he didn't want me that far away from people who knew what to do if complications happened and didn't want me that far from my doc since he'd been my ob since i was16).  and again you're not there to raise their child. a grandparents job is to give lots of lovins and to spoil the baby rotten (and boy oh boy do my boys grandparents do a good job on that lol) if they're not ready to raise the baby.....adoption is always an option. you've raised your babies. i know the stress having to raise your child's child can be. my aunt is raising 2 of her daughters children. she's nearly 50 her youngest is 14 and now she has an 8 and a 4 year old to raise (and she has since they were both born) so she doesn't stop now until....well who knows. she doesn't get to do the grandma thing. she's mommy....all over again. if they need help of course help them....but the baby is THEIR responsibility. just remember that.  

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

If they want you to raise it for them, then they aren't ready to be parents.  If they are, then they can find ways to make it work.  If the girlfriend is 16, then unless her parents kick her out she will have a relatively easy time of it compared to if she was supposed to be starting college next year or something.  There's a girl at my high school who had a kid at 16...she's 18 now and her daughter is...I'm not sure how old.  They'll probably want to live together once he comes back, so one thing you could probably do to help would be to help them with the process of getting housing once that happens.  (Finding places and all that).  If her parents do kick her out then you may want to consider letting her live with you, at least for a while.  I know it might be a bit awkward onces your son leaves, but I assure you it will be -really- helpful.  There are childcare options available even for fairly babies so you needn't worry about who will watch the baby.  

[star641]

can i say first congratulation's Cherie ,if there happy about it well you be can happy ,....im sure she will cope  ,.has she got family ?   i know you will do you best by them you always wanted a granddaughter well now is your chance please god ,every thing will be ok ,.....the birth of a grandchild is the most wonderful thing in this world ,..as youve said its there baby, you are there just to spoil ,;) its always bad timing but for something so precious  as a child its worth it ,Cherie you know there are far worse thinks that can happen in this world need i tell you and to have a baby is not one of them ,...your thinking to far ahead just enjoy the moment  im sure things will fall into place as it happens ,...just stand by and if she needs your help well im sure you will help in what ever way you can ,..cherie it comes to the best of us and there's not a thing we can do ,. remember its not the end of the world ,... can i ask why cant she take care of the baby while you are in school ?..she won't be the first ,and im sure she wont be the last ,....

how is Brandon doing ,its him i would be focusing on right now ,.

[heatherlynn22]

on here you're most likely to get the teenagers point of view. but, i can tell you what happened with me and my dh. i'm not a teen though. i'm 23 and he's 24.

when i got pregnant with our twins last year my dh was in the marines. he was stationed in wash, d.c. so he had to stay there. i was automatically high risk since i was carrying multiples and had to stay home. i couldn't move to d.c with greg like we had planned. (with his work/duty schedule there was no guarantee that he would be home if i needed to go to the doctor or the hospital) so i stayed with my mother. she helped me out a LOT. she took me to my doctors appointments once i got to big to drive, she rubbed my belly all the time (she was super excited....mine and greg's boys are her first biological grandchildren), she took me to the hospital whenever my bh contractions started and she's the one who took me to the hospital when my water broke. since greg was in d.c at the time and couldn't make it home for 9 hours (i was only in labor 8 1/2 hours) she was in the or with me when i delivered the twins. in fact she cut their umbilical cord. shortly after greg got out of the marines (his 4 years was up) and we moved into our own place. she visits, babysits and spends lots of time with her grandbabies.

is his g/f still in school? are her parents helping out? and they shouldn't expect you to raise their baby. this child is going to be their responsibility and even though she is young she will have to step up and take responsibility for her actions as will he. do they plan on marrying once he's out of boot? do they have a plan?