Core changes in personality and goals in relation to Thyroid Disorders/Hormones?

[williegates]

Wife began having huge anger issues, screaming, throwing things, totally unlike her.  These would be 3-4 times per week. They would last a few hours and then she would "come out of it" and profusely apologize and beg me not to leave her for saying some of the most hurtful things I could imagine and throwing things while she did it. It hurt like hell to experience this, but I fought through the initial resentment feelings and got better after a few days...over that initial sting I guess.  I never once told her I was hurt or that I did anything other than forgive her and it would never affect our relationship.  She would return to normal after this and be normal until the next random "Thyroid Storm" (as we termed it).  I just framed it in my mind as being married to someone with something like SunDowners Syndrome, although her 'explosions' weren't every night. (Thank God, I don't think I could have taken that LOL.)

Six months goes by and I am able, through research and a bunch of blood tests, determine it was Hashimotos.  Eventually she started on 60mg of NPThyroid (90mg as of 3-4 weeks ago). Her mood has improved approximately 50%. She is still 'depressed' slightly, but MUCH MUCH MUCH LESS than before.  She still has Thyroid Storms but twice a week on average instead of every other day.  MUCH better.  

However, now I'm noticing something that REALLY FREAKING HAS ME SCARED.  

We have been married for 23 years.  I cannot remember the last time we fought (before this whole Thyroid thing started in July/August 2019).  We almost always agree on everything, we are intimate EVERY SINGLE night (even after 26 years of being together), we are totally one of those couples that will die holding hands at 90 within a few hours of each other.  

OR SO I THOUGHT

We have had a goal of buying a house in the country.  We have had this goal for six or seven years.  Everything we've been working for has been with this singular goal in mind....like a ranch type with tons of acreage.  We've have fantasized about it thousands of times, we have spent hundreds of hours window shopping even though we weren't ready yet, it's been a central point of our lives for a very long time.  

The other day I found her throwing the "scrap book" (full of pictures of 'dream ranches' type or styles we liked) in the trash.  I asked her about it.  She said I don't want to buy a house in the country anymore.  I want to buy one in the city.  THE OPPOSITE of what we have been working towards for the better part of a decade.  I asked where the hell this came from.  She says I don't know....the better my thyroid gets, the more I feel like I can think more clearly....and I'm realizing that's what I want.  So I say Okay, let's talk about it.  And she says, There's nothing to discuss.  I can't live in the country.  I need you to shift your mind to whatever you need to do to get on board with what I want.  That's it.  

I don't think this is intentionally being an arse.  I don't think she is banging the mailman.  She professes her love for me, gives me open access to anything I want (phone, Facebook, Snapchat, etc) and there's nothing to check on imo.  We run a business together and I can account for 100% of her time, so I can't fathom how she would be able to screw around on me....besides, we are still extremely passionate in bed, screw more than the vast number of couples at this age and stage of our lives to be honest, enjoy every second of it, think each other's thoughts still....you would think everything is fine......

EXCEPT ITS NOT.  ITS LIKE SHE IS BECOMING THIS COMPLETELY OTHER PERSON SLOWLY.  And the more she demands things without a compromise or discussion (a thing she has NEVER done before in the history of our marriage...not once, yet now it's her answer for everything), the more she picks things to a 180 degree spin on (there hasn't been a whole lot of things, but the few there have been are REALLY CORE THINGS), the more she acts like my feelings about the issues are borderline an inconvenience, the more I feel myself going in a different direction...because she is IMO......

The other day...with the ranch thing...I told her I will do anything you want me to do, but I need time to be this other person in my head that wants to live in the city.  I need to grieve what we've (apparently wasted) our time for the last seven years working towards.  Then I need to start looking at the positive aspects of living in the city and I need to focus on those and frame it correctly.  Then I will be able to be that person for you.  Just give me time.  

Her response?  It should be easy for you.  Just tell yourself we are living in the city and that's that.  It might take a week or so but it shouldnt take that long.  And we didn't totally swear on the Bible or promise or something that we were going to live in the country, so it was always a possibility that one of us could change our minds...it just happens to be me this time.

This is totally unlike her.  Totally borderline uncaring.  Cannot get her to understand I'm not in the same place she is but I want to be and I will work to be.  Cannot get her to see she did a complete 180 and SHE ADMITS it was overnight ("I don't know.  I woke up one morning and decided that's not what I want anymore...like a lightswitch went off in my head or something.")  That to me sounds like the same chemical imbalance that has made her a completely different person with her anger and Thyroid Storms...just now it's in a different way....

What do you think.....I am running out of things I can attribute to this COMPLETE 180 in CHARACTER.....she's maybe half the person I was married to this time last year.....and I'm freaking scared this will ruin us.......

[gimel]

Please post her thyroid related test results and reference ranges shown on the lab report.  When were those tests done?  Has she had any additional thyroid tests after starting on thyroid med?  If so please post those also.