Aa
How do you explain this stuff to your family????
I am having a real hard time explaining this stuff to my dad. He is blaming people I hung around, etc etc. I have always had problems with school and jobs. I had enough of it. I went and got tested sure enough hypot. Anyways my question is how do you guys explain that this is an illness??? He is blaming oh your not wearing your glasses like you should. Oh, your fine. I am just trying to understand this myself, But i do know If I am at this level for too long I might just go crazy. I have learned to do things the hard way in the past, but I am not living the rest of my life like that. Thanks for any input you guys.
[Sorry guys, I'm new to posting. I have read a lot but haven't posted much. This topic of "explaining" really touched me so, I'm cleaning up my post. Apologies for the repeated content. Hope it flows better now.]
I agree w/everyone on this post. My hubby doesn't get it either. He listens and wants to be supportive but until I can get him to sit down and read about it, he doesn't really understand what Hypothyroidism is and how it is engulfing my existance.
For he and I, the main problem is that I keep reading A LOT and going back to tell him about what I learn or am figuring out or guessing and he hasn't had a chance to read ANYTHING... So what I'll have to do is select the 'best' articles, definitions, blogs, etc. for him to read so he doesn't have to sift through everything like I do.
That way, the most important points and examples can hopefully shine through for him and he'll have a better picture of what we (he and I) are dealing with. True, it is "me" that has the diagnosis, but he and I "both" have to deal with it. It's hard to know who is more affected by my symptoms sometimes. My fatigue and inability to keep up with life and be sociable etc. really affects him.
And I have also had mucho problemos with jobs/life, EVERYTHING for so long seemed so very irritating and meaningless - still does but now I have hope. I don't want to go anywhere, do anything, be around anybody. And on the off times when I do feel ok... well, they're just so few and far between I'm amazed I actually AM married and still DO have employment. I just feel so on the edge of a cliff all the time...
Then there is the thin and wispy hair, brittle nails, bruising so easily, circles under my eyes, CONSTANT UNRELENTING fatigue and sleepiness and apathy - - never feeling refreshed from sleeping... depressed, foggy headed, irritable, angry, just... MISERABLE. No relief, just misery. And for all these many years I believed it was me. My dad, mom, sister, friends... they thought it was "just how she is." Like it was the way I WANT to be, my personality traits or whatever. I always felt like I wanted to be different but I just couldn't - like I tried my best but it was never what I really wanted to fully be.
The best way I can describe it is like being in a coma. I'm awake in my head somehow and I have ideas and intentions (want to go get groceries, cook a meal, clean up). But (and here's the coma part) once I get to the store, everything just overwhelms me. I can't decide what to buy (even with a list in hand - "chese" what kind? swiss? There are 11 choices... which to get???) I get bogged down, ticked off, overwhelmed and then I don't care. I either walk out with hardly nothing or waaay too many groceries.
And I can forget about cooking. Just unloading and putting the food away taxes my last energy reserves, I eat a cold bowl of flakes and flop out. This story? Has happed over and over and over and over again. My family thnks I'm lazy. After years of this behavior, I believed them. I didn't want to, but I couldn't understand myself, why I couldn't get my "me" to behave differently, no matter how much i wanted to change or how hard I tried.
I once had a manager tell me he was going to make it his personal mission to help me be on time for work consistently. It didn't work. I was late a lot and eventually quit that job. But other employers have had to, politely, 'let me go' because I couldn't hack it. 'Regular' people always baffled me. All that 'going to the 40-hr j-o-b,' 'gettin groceries' 'cooking' 'cleaning' 'errands' socializing... NONE of it made sense to me. I mean sure, in pieces these activities make sense but all together?? All the time???
There's no WAY I could do ALL of that. Live my life to the fullest. Hygeine and dressing, driving to work, paying bills, I did the MINIMUM and everyone, including me thought it was ME! Well, I hope to learn what the real me is like. I hope that with my Armour med (only been on it 5 days so I have a way to go) I can do what normal people do and not feel like I'm gonna yell or collapse at every other activity I undertake. H
I agree w/everyone on this post. My hubby doesn't get it either. He listens and wants to be supportive but until I can get him to sit down and read about it, he doesn't really understand what Hypothyroidism is and how it is engulfing my existance.
For he and I, the main problem is that I keep reading A LOT and going back to tell him about what I learn or am figuring out or guessing and he hasn't had a chance to read ANYTHING... So what I'll have to do is select the 'best' articles, definitions, blogs, etc. for him to read so he doesn't have to sift through everything like I do.
That way, the most important points and examples can hopefully shine through for him and he'll have a better picture of what we (he and I) are dealing with. True, it is "me" that has the diagnosis, but he and I "both" have to deal with it. It's hard to know who is more affected by my symptoms sometimes. My fatigue and inability to keep up with life and be sociable etc. really affects him.
And I have also had mucho problemos with jobs/life, EVERYTHING for so long seemed so very irritating and meaningless - still does but now I have hope. I don't want to go anywhere, do anything, be around anybody. And on the off times when I do feel ok... well, they're just so few and far between I'm amazed I actually AM married and still DO have employment. I just feel so on the edge of a cliff all the time...
Then there is the thin and wispy hair, brittle nails, bruising so easily, circles under my eyes, CONSTANT UNRELENTING fatigue and sleepiness and apathy - - never feeling refreshed from sleeping... depressed, foggy headed, irritable, angry, just... MISERABLE. No relief, just misery. And for all these many years I believed it was me. My dad, mom, sister, friends... they thought it was "just how she is." Like it was the way I WANT to be, my personality traits or whatever. I always felt like I wanted to be different but I just couldn't - like I tried my best but it was never what I really wanted to fully be.
The best way I can describe it is like being in a coma. I'm awake in my head somehow and I have ideas and intentions (want to go get groceries, cook a meal, clean up). But (and here's the coma part) once I get to the store, everything just overwhelms me. I can't decide what to buy (even with a list in hand - "chese" what kind? swiss? There are 11 choices... which to get???) I get bogged down, ticked off, overwhelmed and then I don't care. I either walk out with hardly nothing or waaay too many groceries.
And I can forget about cooking. Just unloading and putting the food away taxes my last energy reserves, I eat a cold bowl of flakes and flop out. This story? Has happed over and over and over and over again. My family thnks I'm lazy. After years of this behavior, I believed them. I didn't want to, but I couldn't understand myself, why I couldn't get my "me" to behave differently, no matter how much i wanted to change or how hard I tried.
I once had a manager tell me he was going to make it his personal mission to help me be on time for work consistently. It didn't work. I was late a lot and eventually quit that job. But other employers have had to, politely, 'let me go' because I couldn't hack it. 'Regular' people always baffled me. All that 'going to the 40-hr j-o-b,' 'gettin groceries' 'cooking' 'cleaning' 'errands' socializing... NONE of it made sense to me. I mean sure, in pieces these activities make sense but all together?? All the time???
There's no WAY I could do ALL of that. Live my life to the fullest. Hygeine and dressing, driving to work, paying bills, I did the MINIMUM and everyone, including me thought it was ME! Well, I hope to learn what the real me is like. I hope that with my Armour med (only been on it 5 days so I have a way to go) I can do what normal people do and not feel like I'm gonna yell or collapse at every other activity I undertake. H
I agree w/Terri. My hubby doesn't get it either. He listens and wants to be supportive but until I can get him to sit down and read about it, he doesn't understand exactly. Problem is, I keep reading A LOT and going back to tell him about what I learn or am figuring out or guessing at. He hasn't had a chance to read ANYTHING... So what I'll have to do is select the 'best' articles, definitions, blogs, etc. that I can so he doesn't have to sift through everything like I do. That way, the most important points and examples can hopefully shine through for him and he'll have a better picture of what we're dealing with. True, it is me that has the diagnosis, but he and I both have to deal with it. I too have had mucho problemos with jobs and life, EVERYTHING for so long seemed so very irritating and meaningless. I didn't want to go anywhere, do anything, be around anybody. And on the off times when I did feel ok, they're just so few and far between I'm amazed I actually am married and still do have employment. I just feel so on the edge of a cliff all the time... Thin and wispy hair, brittle nails, bruising so easily, circles under my eyes, constantly fatigued and sleepy but never feeling refreshed from sleeping... depressed, irritable, angry, just... MISERABLE. And for all these many years I believed it was me. My dad, mom, sister, friends... I once had a manager tell me he was going to make it his personal mission to help me be on time for work consistently. It didn't work. I was late a lot and eventually quit that job. But others have had to, politely, 'let me go' because I couldn't hack it. 'Regular' people always baffled me. All that 'going to the 40-hr j-o-b,' 'gettin groceries' 'cooking' 'cleaning' 'errands' socializing... NONE of it made sense to me. I mean sure, in pieces, but all together?? There's no WAY I could do ALL of that. I did the minimum and everyone, including me thought it was ME. I now can only hope that with my Armour med (only been on it 5 days so I got a ways to go) I can do what normal people do and not feel like I'm gonna die or collapse.
I've had trouble understanding this myself. So I don't expect others to understand. I have good days and not so good days now. When Hubby asks what is wrong, I find my whiniest voice to say, " I have a glaaaandular problem and a hoooormone imbalance."
I did have a phone-a-friend who truly listened. But she died of a massive brain tumor.
So I guess I'm on my own, with the help and understanding of everyone here on the board. All of you here have truly saved my sanity.
A~
I did have a phone-a-friend who truly listened. But she died of a massive brain tumor.
So I guess I'm on my own, with the help and understanding of everyone here on the board. All of you here have truly saved my sanity.
A~
I have suffered Graves for quite a few years I believe and even though only diagnosed in 2006, I honestly believed when I was going through 'the hard stuff' that my kids would understand.
I was wrong.
My 2 girls thought I was 'losing my marbles" and that I had 'caught' Schizophrenia like their Dad who committed suicide when they was young.
Imagine the look on my face when they said that!
They tended to stay away a lot more....maybe they didnt 'want' to understand or didnt want to see this person they thought they knew (their Mum) be a bi@tch from he//.
I cried so many times then I realised one thing.......
If I was to get well...it had to be ME who did it.
So back on the trail to find out all I could about Graves, Hyperthyroidism etc, RAI & Thyca.
THEN they accused me of being 'obessed' with it all saying I had OCD!
I couldnt win no matter which way I turned when most days all I wanted was a cuddle.
The one day my Son rang me and said....'Mum , are you ok? I was reading on the net all about Graves and you couldve died !!!!
Well to be truthful, I nearly feel off my chair that day.
HE understood because he 'wanted too'.
My Girls only worried about themselves lol.
THEN only 2 weeks ago, my youngest whose weight has fluctuated like crazy asked me to come to the pathology with her so she could get her thyroid checked!
Make sense?
People only see what they 'want' and if the evidence isnt visable then you are imagining it according to most people.
Crazy world we live in lol :)
Hugs from me to all you guys who have families who dont understand.
You really need those hugs.
I am still with the same boyfriend I was with prior to dx and yes i put him through he//...but he stayed and for that I can never ever repay him.
Here is this guy who has never been sick in his life having to put up with Thyroid Storm and everything else associated with what I had wrong with me.
He encouraged me to conquer Graves Disease and I did.
Now he has found out he has Diabetes type II and its now my turn to return the love and kindness he gave me when no-one else did.
Dont try and explain yourself to anyone...they only 'see' what they want.
if they are supportive then you are one of the 'lucky ones' like myself and it helps a lot on the road to recovery.
I am doing good now (8 months post RAI) and know deep down in my heart that I can never truly repay the man who gave up 18 months of his life to put up with my he//.
Good luck to everyone here.....I am only a message away..........
I was wrong.
My 2 girls thought I was 'losing my marbles" and that I had 'caught' Schizophrenia like their Dad who committed suicide when they was young.
Imagine the look on my face when they said that!
They tended to stay away a lot more....maybe they didnt 'want' to understand or didnt want to see this person they thought they knew (their Mum) be a bi@tch from he//.
I cried so many times then I realised one thing.......
If I was to get well...it had to be ME who did it.
So back on the trail to find out all I could about Graves, Hyperthyroidism etc, RAI & Thyca.
THEN they accused me of being 'obessed' with it all saying I had OCD!
I couldnt win no matter which way I turned when most days all I wanted was a cuddle.
The one day my Son rang me and said....'Mum , are you ok? I was reading on the net all about Graves and you couldve died !!!!
Well to be truthful, I nearly feel off my chair that day.
HE understood because he 'wanted too'.
My Girls only worried about themselves lol.
THEN only 2 weeks ago, my youngest whose weight has fluctuated like crazy asked me to come to the pathology with her so she could get her thyroid checked!
Make sense?
People only see what they 'want' and if the evidence isnt visable then you are imagining it according to most people.
Crazy world we live in lol :)
Hugs from me to all you guys who have families who dont understand.
You really need those hugs.
I am still with the same boyfriend I was with prior to dx and yes i put him through he//...but he stayed and for that I can never ever repay him.
Here is this guy who has never been sick in his life having to put up with Thyroid Storm and everything else associated with what I had wrong with me.
He encouraged me to conquer Graves Disease and I did.
Now he has found out he has Diabetes type II and its now my turn to return the love and kindness he gave me when no-one else did.
Dont try and explain yourself to anyone...they only 'see' what they want.
if they are supportive then you are one of the 'lucky ones' like myself and it helps a lot on the road to recovery.
I am doing good now (8 months post RAI) and know deep down in my heart that I can never truly repay the man who gave up 18 months of his life to put up with my he//.
Good luck to everyone here.....I am only a message away..........
People don't respond to our disease because they can't see it. If we were in wheelchairs they wouldn't tell us to get prozac, lol. But because our pain is invisible to them they think it doesn't exist. Big lesson...I need to get more compassionate friends and spend less time around my family, ha ha.
Ps, I am tired of that word prozac. I am tired of people telling me I need it, i am not depressed, I just became ill! Hugs everyone:)
Seems i have brought up quite a topic here,:) I am doing some reading on this right now. Maybe someday they will understand. I am still tired of trying to explain this stuff to them. I agree if they had it then they would understand this stuff a little better. They say its not an illness, its all in my head. yeah right!
You guys said it right! It is a very sad and unfortunate thing that our family and friends just cannot comprehend any of this. In fact at times they can cause us to second guess ourselves and wonder if it is all in our heads! Sometimes I sit and will my body well....thinking that it will listen eventually! lol
Hang in there Cynnie.....try to get a good book on autoimmune thyroid disease!
HUGS!
Hang in there Cynnie.....try to get a good book on autoimmune thyroid disease!
HUGS!
And I thought it was only my family and friends who were insensitive. I actually had people tell me it was all in my head and I needed prozac.
At gatherings with either family or friends, when asked how I am feeling, I could see in their faces the look of dread and "oh there she goes again" when I told them how I felt. I've had people actually walk away from me in mid-sentence or change the subject abruptly. How rude!
Now I just say "I'm fine" and leave it at that. It's not worth it anymore. Sometimes you just can't force people to understand.
At gatherings with either family or friends, when asked how I am feeling, I could see in their faces the look of dread and "oh there she goes again" when I told them how I felt. I've had people actually walk away from me in mid-sentence or change the subject abruptly. How rude!
Now I just say "I'm fine" and leave it at that. It's not worth it anymore. Sometimes you just can't force people to understand.
Stella, you are correct about the family scattering. The thing is is that we are the stronger or backbone if you will of the family. We are willing to go knee deep to get answers.
Cynnieb:
When people don't understand and its not them, they tend to not worry about it as much. My family loves to say that its all in my head. If the shoe was on the other foot, then they would want help.
That is one of my main reasons for coming online to seach for people walking in the same shoe as me. They understand or will come to try and understand whats going on.
Keep in touch and let us know what your dad thinks, once he reads up on the thyroid.
Take care
Terri
Cynnieb:
When people don't understand and its not them, they tend to not worry about it as much. My family loves to say that its all in my head. If the shoe was on the other foot, then they would want help.
That is one of my main reasons for coming online to seach for people walking in the same shoe as me. They understand or will come to try and understand whats going on.
Keep in touch and let us know what your dad thinks, once he reads up on the thyroid.
Take care
Terri
I really haven't had much success and "winning" over my family or friends over on understanding this at all.
It's kind of a downer for me - since I was always "the one" who helped everyone else and when I needed help - they scattered like rabbits.
I am at peace now with the whole thing when it comes to understanding. I am still hurt - but know I did everything this time for me and with the positive things happening now - I only consider what I did for myself a real reward.
It's kind of a downer for me - since I was always "the one" who helped everyone else and when I needed help - they scattered like rabbits.
I am at peace now with the whole thing when it comes to understanding. I am still hurt - but know I did everything this time for me and with the positive things happening now - I only consider what I did for myself a real reward.
Cynnie,
Its hard to explain to something to someone who has not walked a mile in your shoe. We are going through this and we are having a hard time trying to figure this out ourselves.
I have tried to explain this to my family and all they do is nod their heads and not one understands what I'm telling them.
Go to the library, get a book and bring it to your dad. It may help. Or you could bring him online so that he can read some of what we go through.
Hope this helps.
Take care
Terri
Its hard to explain to something to someone who has not walked a mile in your shoe. We are going through this and we are having a hard time trying to figure this out ourselves.
I have tried to explain this to my family and all they do is nod their heads and not one understands what I'm telling them.
Go to the library, get a book and bring it to your dad. It may help. Or you could bring him online so that he can read some of what we go through.
Hope this helps.
Take care
Terri
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