Your TSH is indicating that you've been hypo the entire time. If you were hyper (or even adequately dosed), you TSH would be much lower than it is.
The symptoms you're having can also apply to being hypo... I had them all when I was at my very most hypo... except for the jitters, which could be attributed to anxiety.
Unfortunately, many of us have to try to be our own doctor - that's how we end up here. :-) Don't be surprised if you wait months for the endo appointment and nothing gets better because not all endos are good thyroid doctors.
I can't really answer your question about the 125 mcg dose, right off hand because I'm not convinced you're hyper, especially since these symptoms actually started when you were hypo. It would be really helpful if you'd let me know what the actual numbers, and reference ranges, were for the T4 and T3 tests you did get. Just because they were in the "normal" range, doesn't mean they were where you needed them. If they were low in the ranges, they would still indicate hypo.
Yes, lab orders have to specify Free T4 and Free T3 (could also be written as FT4 and FT3), because without the specification that Free T4 and Free T3 are desired, the lab will go ahead and do the Total T4 and Total T3.
Where were you ordering your lab work from? I know some labs (national chains) allow you to get your own, but from what I've seen, they don't allow one to order the Free T4 and Free T3. There are online sites from which you can order the tests you want and they send you a lab order to print and take to a local lab (national chain). I order from one of these sites every once in a while if I think I need labs between the times my doctor orders them. The last ones I ordered were $85 for TSH, FT4 and FT3.
Because of your symptoms, you probably also need a Reverse T3 (rT3). rT3 is a mirror image of FT3, but it's inert. Too much rT3 can block the cell receptors so FT3 can't get in.
I think the last time I ordered, the labs, with rT3 were a little over $100, which got me everything I wanted/needed.
Is it safe to assume that when you say "Level at 14" or "went back up to 12", you're referring to a TSH level? Is your doctor testing anything other than TSH - like, Free T4 and Free T3, which are the actual thyroid hormones?
TSH is a pituitary hormone that doesn't always correlate with actual thyroid hormone levels, nor does it correlate with symptoms. Trying to adjust medication according to a TSH level is like trying to shoot a moving target because TSH is affected by things, other than thyroid hormones.
If you've had tests for Free T4 and Free T3, please post their results, with reference ranges, so we can see what's going on with those.
Also, since symptom relief is the ultimate goal, please list your symptoms, as well.
I'm sorry about your mother's passing - that's always difficult. What dose did you actually start out on (when your mother passed away)?