Grieving

[Dktb1955]

My 83 year old mother fell down my daughter's front brick steps a month ago and fractured the back of her skull and had a frontal lobe brain bleed.  She was in ICU for three days.  She coulldn't talk, but she would look at us and smile.  She was moving her arms and legs.  She developed trouble breathing and they put her on a bypass machine.  They told me that she would get worse and need to be put on a ventilator.  She had a living will, but it became my decision whether to do this.  I'm an only child and close to my mother.  The doctors informed me she would have no quality of life.  after prayer and talking with my kids and husband, I decided not to put her on the ventilator.  At tat point, they moved her to a room for palliative care where she passed away four days later.  I agonize over if I made the right decision.  Did I?

[ferret5]

Yes, I agree you made the Kind decision. I went thru a similar experience when my mom suddenly turned for the worse and I signed a do not resuscitate. I knew it was the right thing to do because I knew what her wishes were, but after she died I could not help but think that maybe they would have been more aggressive with their treatment if I had not signed the DNR. But, you really cant second guess yourself or feel guilty. You did the right thing. I am a nurse in a nursing home. Having to be on a respirator and immobile would have left her susceptible to infections, skin breakdown , contractures, depression... even with the best of care. You did the right thing

[allmymarbles]

You made the KIND decision.