Hello. I currently suffer from major depression and anxiety. I have had it for about 3 years, and have been on meds for over a year, and am still trying to figure out which meds and dosage will help me get over it. My question has to do with the cause of my depression. All of these things happened freshman year of college, or about 3 years ago.
1) In college, I didn't make any friends and was put on academic probation after my grades dropped. I was under a lot of stress and had horrible social anxiety. I've always had anxiety issues, but it got really bad then. During college, I would stay up all night and sleep all day.
2) My only friend and I went over a friends house. It was just the 3 of us, and so I thought it would be okay to drink. I'm not sure if I really did drink that much, or if the guy put something in my drink. That night, I hit my head many times on concrete steps and the road. The worst was a fall that from the steps onto the concrete road, where my head hit hard. Apparently when my friend and the guy found me waiting at the door I was throwing up and crying. I had no memory whatsoever of what happened within a time span. Apparently they had helped me take a shower, and then put me in the bed. While still intoxicated and injured, the male "friend" took advantage of me. The next day, I had a huge bump on the side of my head which was painful. Another thing I noticed, was that when I ate food (chewing), I would feel a clicking sensation in the spot where I hit my head. Almost like something popping out of place slightly each time I chewed for about a week. Eventually, the bump went away and I don't have the clicking sensation. 3 years later, I still feel tenderness/soreness in the spot where I hit my head. Do I need to be worried about any underlying dormant bleeding, etc?
3) Although I have no opinion about it, I know some people think this next thing could lead to depression. I took Accutane twice. Once as a sophmore in high school. It went well with no side effects. Freshman year of college, my acne was back and I went on Accutane again. This time, I had several symptoms. The worst probably being extreme hair loss. I couldn't brush my hair because huge clumps would fall out. I continued on the medicene (I told the doc about the symptoms but they didnt seem worried) and completed it. My symptoms subsided and I returned back to normal....I just wonder if perhaps the Accutane could have something to do with my depression.
And my final question is perhaps the most important to me.....If my depression was a cause of something I did to physically or chemically alter my body, will I ever be able to recover from it? If the head injury was the cause of my depression (or contributing factor), will I always be on antidepressants because my brain was damaged? Thanks so much.