I think I am saying intrusive thoughts out loud.

[whatdidhejustsay]

Ok, full disclosure my dad has full delusion disorder and i myself went through some drug induced psychosis 6 years ago that led to anxiety after the psychosis was up.    

Now I have been having some pretty intrusive thoughts lately and i don't know why.  Some really "edgy" stuff.  like ill be talking to my grandpa and the idea of just knocking him out pops in my head when I am not even mad at him.  Or ill be talking to an asian person and ill say some messed up **** in my head like "damn chink can't do anything right".  

I am disgusted by my own thoughts.  Like they are not in fact my own.  A lot of intrusive sexual thoughts as well where i actually stop and just say to myself... GROSS.  

Well I am kinda convinced I somehow say these things out loud because i SWEAR people react to them.  Now, i am also not stupid enough to rule out the possibility that my mind is making me "think" they react to them by distorting things i can barely hear or interpreting body language to mean what I think it means.

It is more then likely the thing i just said because i have asked multiple people if i ever say or do anything that seems "weird" or "out of character" or say anything that is "inappropriate" and they all tell me , Naw i didn't hear you say anything.  

So how can I get rid of these intrusive thoughts, and how can I make myself stop thinking i say them.  

[SassyLassie]

Hello~I remember reading in a natural medical journal that people under high anxiety or stress will have these unwanted thoughts, they don't even want them, but they just pop up and the more you try to ignore them, the worse they get. Lots of folks that are in the midst of a nervous break-down have them, it is emotionally induced, no one really knows why however.

I would suggest adding a good, high potency B vitamin to your diet, these are the stress vitamins and can have a huge impact on your nervous system.

I know this will seem ridiculous, but, I would also try a chiropractor, you may have some pinched nerves in your neck and they could be pressing on certain areas that cause this impulsive behavior, also, you might try acupuncture, there have been great results with it in all areas, especially emotionally.

I hope you get the relief you are seeking soon. God bless you.

[TheLightSeeker]

Well, well, it could be real and then it could be just perceived by you as real.
Only a voice activated recording device would reveal the
truth.
The biggest issue is learning  not to take intrusive thoughts seriously. Treating them as spam, will be a good start.
The moment you "try" hard not to have them,...you got it;
It gives the intrusive thoughts more strength, so it becomes a self-perpetuating pattern.
The unconscious mind has very little logic and double negatives do not equal a positive, ie:
I will not have negative thoughts does not equal I will have positive thoughts.
This is simply because the unconscious works with concepts, more like photos and images, so when you use a negative concept + not, all is recorded is the image of the negative concept.
The statement :"I will not get any fatter", records as fatter, since that is the image  retained in the unconscious mind.
However the statement: "I'm fit and healthy" might serve better as an affirmation. Present tense and positive (no negatives).

This is just a small piece of the puzzle.
You could also benefit from CRT therapy, perhaps with someone who has both clinical psychology and hypnosis background.

The other suggestion is to get a proper medical evaluation.

From what you mentioned in your post, it sounds like symptoms of OCD and if you have any apprehension
about medications, do not let this prevent you from getting evaluated.

There are a number of natural approaches which may
offer more curative possibilities than medications.

Actually 90% of OCD patients relying just on their meds,
will return back to the same symptoms or worse, if they stop their meds.

You have to make a decision to free yourself from this.

Best wishes,
Niko.

[whatdidhejustsay]

naw, no apprehension on meds. lol i was on xanax for like 5 years straight.  Glad i got off that though.  

I see what you mean about the double negatives because i have been trying a new approach of "i'm going to think about something positive about people"  and had more success.  

Somewhere along the way i think my internal dialogue went sour and started hating the world or something ... idk.

I do think it could be a form of OCD rather then psychosis because it's more I fear that I think i might be doing something, rather then believing i am actually doing something.

idk ill just have to try new train of thought till i sort it out.