It sounds like you are recalling a painful memory while you are asleep. If you can talk about it with your wife, perhaps you will remember it and get past it. It isn't necessary to forget it, just move past it. We all have suffered various things and apparently this is still bothering you.
Your wife is probably the best therapist for you as she is comforting you and so understanding.
I was having pain in my elbows and fingers. I found out it was from my ulnar nerves and an EMG showed both had been damaged. I hope to find out on Tuesday the 22nd, what is causing both my arms to hurt below the shoulders. I hope it is from the Androgel that I use on both my upper arms.
Sometimes we are allergic to the remedies or prescriptions that we take or use. And sometimes we become allergic to them overnight.
I found that taking my hypertension prescription medication was tearing up my stomach. So the doctor put me on PPIs (Dexilant, Prilosec, etc.) After weaning myself off the prescriptions, I now use Hawthorn to lower my blood pressure. - Sorry, this has nothing to do with arm pain. - I take Essiac for my pain. It works on my Fibromyalgia better than the gabapentin.
Wishing you the best