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It is difficult to comment without examination. Lump behind the ear could be an abscess, folliculitis (hair follicle infection), lipoma (localized collection of fat), a cyst, an inflamed lymph node or a neurofibroma (localized harmless swelling in of nerve and connective tissue). Since it has been there for years it must be a lipoma, a cyst, a swollen lymph node. Please do not squeeze it again and again. Consult a doctor and get this examined.
Please consult your PCP for primary examination followed by proper referral. Take care!
Stop picking at it! Just like any zit, picking at it isn't going to help!
It sounds exactly like the "zit" (aka the planet) that I had behind my ear. It took _FOREVER_ to go away. And (contrary to my first sentence) the only way I got it to get lost was to have a friend lance it for me. (Seriously, health care workers and students are the WORST patients ever!).
YOU, my dear madam, shall be smarter than me and GO TO A DOCTOR. They shall lance it if need be, or straight out remove it. Perhaps give you an antibiotic so it doesn't spread. It will be glorious and SAFE.... unlike your responder who decided she didn't care if she lost her ear to an infection, (butthankgodshedidn'tbecauseshewould'vebeenreallypissedatherself.)
(I'm in a goofy mood, don't ask).
See a doctor! Take care! Keep us posted!