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I had a bad circumcision when I was 2-3 years old due to bad parents and Islam

Hello, first of all, thank you all for accepting me into this community and helping me.

Secondly, as the question title implies,I was born into the Islamic religion, so as a consequence I got inforced circumcision at a very young age, which was badly performed by an unqualified person, with no reliable professional training (I have this trauma and I kinda recall the situation and the person performing it to me perfectly, which even makes me sadder and angrier).

After the circumcision, I was left with what I think they're scars and some black spots which I don't know how to call It (the one in the left side I feel like the skin in It is very thin/weak and If I Keep touching It I feel It hurts a bit, is either dead skin or burnt one or a mix of both, I'm not sure, but the worst part is that I've got extra skin that's mixed together and when I lift It and check It, I can see very small holes within It.

I never went to a Doctor because I was ashamed of myself and my ugly penis and also I was afraid he might laugh at me or missjudge even tho he probably wouldn't I realize about that now... (The last part was specially true when I was very young like 12-17, before that I didn't even care since I was basically a kid trying to have some fun with his friends and since I never dated girls I didn't even think about my physique at all, so...)
But now I'm 24 and I'm very worried, that's why I'm asking you for your advice/help.

I'll leave some photos down, to show It better to you, since I feel like they say " a picture is worth a thousand words ".

Thank you for all of your help.


3 Responses
20620809 tn?1504362969
How old were you when the event happened?  We tend to have little accurate memory before a certain age, keep that in mind.  Doctors don't care what a penis looks like.  Really, they see it all.  You may  have penile melanosis which is harmless.   Basically it is a pigmentation of the skin.  https://www.healthline.com/health/penile-melanosis  If it bothers you, you can have laser treatment done to remove it.  But again, it's usually harmless.  
20903883 tn?1606423257
Really sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. Cosmetic surgery might make things look better and give you more confidence to date but psychological support would greatly benefit you.
207091 tn?1337709493
I have to say that I was expecting things to look a lot worse than what they do, based on your description. I don't mean to minimize your trauma, which is understandable, but your penis isn't "ugly". Just like other parts of your body, it's not unusual to have skin variations on your penis.

I do think you should see your doctor about it, since parts are sensitive to touch, and can hurt. Make sure there's nothing actually wrong, and ask about treatments for the pigmentation since it bothers you. Make sure to ask about scarring as a result from any treatment, because you may trade one issue for another.

I also agree that psychological support would be a great idea. It would probably be really helpful to you to talk to someone about the trauma and your feelings about your body.
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