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Painful blood vessels on penis glans

I have painful blood vessels on my penis and they haven't healed after a year and a half. I was masturbating with a pillow and broke blood vessels. I also stretched my inner foreskin that was left from my circumcision. My penis skin now looks wrinkly, mushy, and its loose instead of tightly rapped around my shaft like before (from my circumcision). I honestly never let it heal completely and the longest i stopped masturbating was about 2 weeks throughout this year and a half. Im not sure what to do at this point. Ive had depression since this happened and I've thought about killing myself. I ruined the most important part of my manhood because of masturbating with a pillow. I dont think this ever wouldve happened had i been left intact because my glans wouldve been very sensitive when humping a pillow. What should I do?
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Southwest , MI
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