Testosterone nightmare

[Colleen0615]

have been married to my husband over 30 years. He was diagnosed with low T about 8 years ago and began testosterone shots. My sweet happy caring husband has changed into someone I no longer recognize. He has major mood swings, anger is the normal for him now. He is very aggressive and abusive mentally and physically. I have tried  to have heart to heart conversations with him but he does not see that he has changed he says I have changed. He grabs me and tries to force himself on me constantly even if I am sick and goes in to a rage if I don't do this as he demands. I had a major health problem and almost died. As soon as I got home from the hospital he was trying to force himself on me and it felt like rape. He drinks hard alcohol now as soon as he gets home from work and my anxiety is always the normal now. He doesn't believ e me when I try to tell him the way he treats me and tells me I am the one with the problem. He seems to believe he is always right and argument s are everyday' He p u ts me down in front of family and friends and I am a fraud to go anywhere to visit as he is always embarrassing me and thinks it is funny. When I confront him he denies it ever happens. This has ruined our marriage and I do not feel at this point it c an be saved. I was so glad to find t his site and see that many others are dealing with this same issue. It is so so sad to spend your like with a good husband  and father and then they turn into abusive mean angry strangers. I feel angry that our family is breaking up and will not ever be the way it was. Our grandchildren will be devastated made o by understand although he yells at me in front of them which makes them sad. It is so unfair to confuse and show that behaviour to them. I miss the loving caring man I married and now walk on eggshells everyday of my life to avoid the daily abuse. I was so full of happiness and wish we had that back. He denies he has any issues and constantly tells me to just leave then denies he said that. I would give anything to have my husband back but that man no longer exists. The longer he is on this the worse he gets. I feel helpless and  unloved.............How. can this get better?