I have always been relatively thin - 5' tall and stayed between 105-110 most of my life, then somewhere along the line, I my thyroid went berserk and all of a sudden I gained about 20 pounds in just a couple of months, then later on another 10.
In the process of all this weight gain/thyroid issue, my cholesterol went sky high (thyroid disease will cause that), my feet, knees and legs hurt all the time because I'm carrying around at least 30 more pounds that my small boned 5' frame is meant to carry. I retain a lot of fluid, etc. We have a lot of heart disease and diabetes in my family and I know if I'm not careful, I will be right there with some of my family members (I already have a leaky heart valve and my blood sugar whacks out every now and then).
Along with the health issue, I just don't feel good about myself, but I'm learning not to be too harsh either. I found a book called "If You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair" by Geneen Roth. It's about how we need to be kinder to ourselves and take better care of us. I can't explain the entire book here, but I certainly recommend that everyone trying to lose weight read it - it's certainly taught me a lot.
I'm sure your son didn't mean to hurt your feelings - 8 year olds usually don't think of other people's feelings and if he's autistic well ...... just understand. I'm sure your husband must loves you, so do the weight loss thing for yourself, not for someone else. If you want to do it for your health - ok; if you want to do it to feel better about yourself - ok; but if you want to do it so someone else will love you - NO. I say that because I feel that if you lose weight only in hopes that someone will love you more, then you aren't being fair to either yourself or them. And if you do it only to try to make someone love you more, you will only end up resenting that person and how hurt will you be if it doesn't make them love you more?
For myself - I'm ME and people who love will love me whether I'm heavy or not or they don't really love me!!
An 8 yr old doesn't think much kindness, but you should. Be kind to yourself.
Great question - for me it was about feeling emotionally ready to build my self esteem up again - it was destroyed by a few things but mostly my ex husband...
I realised that part of feeling better about me and liking me again was wrapped up in my self image/ my body image and my health and jest for life...
I decided in December that 2009 was going to be MY year- the year I learned to love me again - and I wrote down the steps I needed to take to achieve that.
1) get out of debt completley
2) Loose all my excess weight
3) Get fit enough to be considered healthy
4) every week do something I have never done before
5) keep learning new skills, new things and embrace new experiences.
So 1st January the new me started - 17th October (the day before my 37th birthday) Is my ' Helens Self Esteem Rebirth Party' that's my goal date- 17th October :)
My turning point was after my 4th minor knee surgery in June of 2006. I had only 3 weeks of physical therapy (P.T.). Having had the first 3 surgeries as an athletic teenager, I thought I was in for weeks or months of P.T. Being cut loose told me my doctor saw what I had indeed become: an obese middle-aged housewife! I weighed at least 210!!! (I'm 5' 7")
THE VERY DAY HE RELEASED ME, I STARTED WALKING 3 MILES/DAY. That was all she wrote. I can't say enough about walking! It whittles your hips and waist like no other exercise.
My walks started in early July, 2006. By early Dec., 2006, I took a job training as a fitness instructor at the YMCA because I could no longer walk outside due to ice on the sidewalks. At that time, too, I added strength training to my exercise routine. Unfortunately, I already needed that 5th knee surgery in June of 2007, so I had to quit teaching step aerobics but continued teaching seniors at the Y until just this past September.
I'm so glad my doctor wasn't the type to "waste" PT on me. He probably truly believed I was improved to the maximum that mattered to a sedentary person. If he had done anything differently, I might have continued to live in denial of how large I had become.
Barb is right. YOU have to lose weight for YOU. YOU are worth it. YOU are the one who will reap the benefits. This is one endeavor in which it is NOT selfish to believe it's all about YOU!!!
(P.S. Now when I see my orthopedist, he calls me his poster child and he keeps my very shot knee in the best working order possible for a knee that needs replacement. He really is a sweetie and wasn't going to waste insurance $$$.)
After I moved out of my in laws in October i had a dr. appt and i stepped on the scales to realize i had literally almost gained 30 lbs since meeting my dh 4 yrs ago!! When i put it like that it sounded really bad!! Plus most of wardrobe was not fitting i was limited with what i could wear and i just was not happy with myself!! All these combined i knew i needed to get serious and lose the weight and get in shape for reals this time!! On top of all this im only 5'3 and i hope to get a BFP one day i seriously dont need the extra 20lbs on my frame and then get pregnant im sure my health go down the crapper for sure then!! I say 20lbs cus thats what i plan to lose the weight i was at when i met my dh is a lil bit too low so 20 is my ultimate goal!!
I weigh just a few lbs more than you so I know how you feel being this size. The reason I decided to start losing was because I want another baby. But I don't want to be pregnant and reach over 200 lbs. It makes me sick to the stomach to think about. Plus, I want to lower my risks for diabetes and other problems.
This past year (2008) I discovered I was starting to develop PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). I ended up miscarrying my fourth pregnancy on November 20th and that was a major wake-up call. I know the miscarriage was out of my hands but this boiling anger started rising up.
I started to workout and started to lose weight. I lost 8 lbs in January alone. I'm working hard this month to lose even more! My goal is 135-140 lbs. But if I can even reach 160 lbs before conceiving (we aren't using protection/preventing) I'd be one happy lady.
I decided to lose weight when I got PCOS. I weighted over 400 pounds back in 04/08 now I weigh 333.
I decided to lose weight because I have a very low self esteem/confidence issue. I feel that when we feel low about ourselves, that's the image we put off to others as well. If we start to feel better about ourselves, our attitude changes, along with many other things, and when you start to feel better about yourself it shows. Other people then start to see you in the same light. I am NOT a people person and that's something I want to try to work on. My daughter is gonna be 3 next month, and I want to be someone she can look up to not only for advice and things like that.. But to look at me and think.. Wow my moms pretty.. and "want" to look like me or like the fact that she does. I weighed 145lbs my jr. year in high school and then my sr. year I gained a lot of weight because I was working fast food and ate there all the time. Then after I graduated I got pregnant and my weight went up to 220, then after I had her I leveled out at around 185lbs. That's just unhealthy for me. I feel ugly, and tired all the time and I just want to fell good about myself again. My goal is to get down to 160lbs by the beginning of summer, but I plan to reach my previous weight of 145 soon after that! Good luck with your goals everyone!
Hi there and welcome to the site. You are wise to set a current goal that is actually less than you ultimately want to be. It's always better to set smaller goals as then it doesn't seem so daunting to reach. I ultimately want to get down to around 110, but for right now, my goal is 140 - once I get there, I'll lower it again.
Make small changes and just work at it slow and steady. I think you are right about our feelings about ourselves being reflected in the way other people see us.
Good luck with your journey and I hope you'll stick around with us and participate and have some fun.
Im going to be Honest..the truth is im about 180lbs not too bad but i have major chubbage in my tummy area and it grosses me out every time i change my clothes take a shower etc.... A muffin top is what its called lol, i have yet to lose it, i want to weigh in the 130 to 140 lb area. what did it for me was seeing all these woman on tv they look beautiful why cant i look like them. i dont want to look like them just be thinner like them not such a good thing to lose weight just to be like them i know this. But i want to be healthy and happy with who i am :) I have all these cute clothes and GUESS what they dont fit i want them to fit again. i miss wearing them now im wearing tshirts not my girly shirts that i love. Im a size 9 jeans normally and i love it not too big and not too small i wea like a 10 or 11 depending on the brand. which i only went up a size or two. thats fine with me but the tummy chubbage is what i do not like.
Barb135: Thanks so much for the welcome, support and advice! I absolutely love it here and could not imagine doing this without the help and support I have received on this site. There is no other place like this in my opinion! I want to thank you once again and wish you good luck on your journey as well! =]
msgorgeous: You sound JUST like me! I weighed 185 earlier this week when I first started out and I know what you mean about just feeling gross. I hated myself some days just for that reason. I just got to the point where I decided I didnt want to live like that any more and decided it WAS time to make a change. I have already lost 3 lbs and if I can do it YOU CAN TOO! You just gotta stay positive and know that in the long run it's going to be worth it! Don't give up and keep pushing yourself! I'm actually right now currently in a size 14 to 16 in jeans.. I'm tall and have HUGE hips, lol. My goal is to get back down to AT LEAST a 9. But once again.. You CAN do it, just believe in yourself! =]