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Avatar universal

Don't know what to do!!!Please advise!

I am in the middle of a nasty drama.
I fell for this man, who travels a lot for work. Even when he was in the middle of his business trip, he got time to talk, to even take a flight to see me very often. Always caring,  I thought he was the one.
Me, I have 4 girls at home. He told me recently the mother of his two younger kids lives in the same house but he assured me he sleeps in his office/ bedroom kind a thing. He is there only Friday nights until Monday mornings due to his travel schedules. I believed him because since he was always talking, texting with me, it was barely impossible to lie...i guess..
Well, to my surprise I got pregnant. And told him. He was muted for long minutes then he said he could not have a baby , not right now. Having an abortion was the best choice for us.
I went ballistic since I am pro life and somehow knowing that I have my kids already,and the idea of having his child melted my heart. Well, that day he told me that the Friday before we talked , his ex girlfriend with who he broke up 6 months ago is pregnant of 5 months. I felt upset but understand things like this can happen and it was past, so I was ok with the idea..
After that everything has going down at a super speed. The mother of his kids sent Instagram messages stating that they are together, that he is always having affairs due to his trips...
So I broke the hell lose and told her about my pregnancy and the other girl who is pregnant. She didn't responded. Assume she was shocked...Him, well, he blocked me from every where. No way to contact him. I can safely assume he is not going to be part of this baby. I tried to ask for some help to do some labs that I needed and that's how I learned he blocked me.
I feel betrayed, sad..still in love , trying to figure what to do. I am only 5 weeks pregnant. If you were me, what would you do?
2 Responses
973741 tn?1342346373
This is a tough one.  I would expect he is more involved with his significant other than he led you to believe.  And they live as a family on the weekends.  He's saying clearly he does not want to have a child with you.  You have a right to keep the baby for sure.  He has a right to ask you to abort.  That's kind of how it works in non committed relationships where a baby is a surprise.  It stinks as you were feeling in love with him and it probably really hurts he does not want a child at this time with you.  

Whatever you decide to do is totally personal choice.  To me, there is no shame in termination when it best fits our life. But if you feel very differently, that's the right answer for you.  

If you want to keep the baby, come up with a plan to do so that doesn't factor him into the mix.  That he isn't out of his previous relationship totally means he wasn't going to likely be a long term partner anyway because when relationships overlap like that, they rarely work out.  Add in kids from your previous and then his previous and the success rate would be really low.  Just keeping it real.  If you want a long term relationship with him (which you may not now since you know he's kind of mislead you and also is asking you to terminate a child you want) . .. it would be best to stop seeing him until he leaves his home/significant other completely and has his own place and a bit of time has passed.  That ups the odds for making things work!  (otherwise, 10 shades of paranoia sets in because you will always wonder if he is doing what he did to her to you . .. ).  

You already know what it takes to raise a baby.  You can do it if you so choose.  Do you have a support system in your life?  

Unfortunately, he's choosing the other woman.  You have to let this guy go and just focus on what you want to do for yourself with the baby.  And if termination makes your life easier, it's okay.  It really is.  hugs  
Avatar universal
I agree with Special mom. I'm in a tough relationship and 6 weeks pregnant and have no idea what to do
Hi there, welcome to the forum.  I'm sorry you are in a tough spot.  We're here if you need to talk about it.  
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