Women's Choice Community
617 Members
Avatar universal

i dont know how to handle the situation

so im 20 and i just found out im 8 weeks pregnant.  my boyfriend of 6 years wants me to get an abortion and i refuse to do it. he thinks it will be better for us in the long run but i dont see it. i have wanted a baby and now that im pregnant i cant stop thinking about it. i would like some advice please
10 Responses
1527510 tn?1392301344
You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. Obviously he has a say in the matter because he helped conceive the baby, but at the same time, it's your body so so do you. You really need to sit down with him and talk it through. Tell him exactly how you're feeling and try see why he really doesn't want his baby. You guys have been together a long time, so you obviously have something good, maybe he's just scared that a baby will change all that?
Avatar universal
he feels that it is already putting a strain on our relationship. he dont think we can afford it cause we r still young. but our parents will help but he dont want help. we have a good relationahip and i think that he does think that it might come between us. im emotionaly ready but he gets mad because he doant understand y i want a baby at 20. but we didnt take ne precutions on not getting pregnant
535822 tn?1443976780
I think that you will be the one having an abortion and its something you will always regret ..if you dont want to keep the child ,best have him/her adopted many good folks wanting children .Good luck I think your gut is telling you something , this is your baby if he doesnt want it he doesnt have to have it ...you do ...
Avatar universal
If its a financial thing, just think, if you wait until you can afford a child, you will never have one, college, clothes, food, misc expenses, medical no one will ever be financially "ready". A friend of mine put that in my head & it really made sense to me, somehow we all manage to make ends meet :) if you want this baby have it, dad will come on board eventually :) congrats
535822 tn?1443976780
Men dont always know what abortion means ...trust me you will regret it ...forever
Avatar universal
Im going to be 21yrs old and 8weeks pregnant at first when i found out he thought about abortion....but when we talked to his dad(hes going to be 61 or 62 and has health issues) he is still estatic about it because its his first grandchild out of his only son. But after the talking and we are keeping it...even the thought of an abortion can make you re-think your morals about it...and since then the first time i found out i talked to every about it and support about our decision. My mom says the same thing about not everyone is finantially set on a baby...i know we areny but keep your head up and try to see what your communtiy has for jobs...good luck
Avatar universal
If u dont want to dont do it because he wants u to. Its really ur.decision. If u have a baby now or in 5 yrs it will always put ur relationship threw an emotional rollercoaster. Its just what happens when ur prego and guys dont understand it the first time around. Give him a little time to adjust to the idea and it will make u all a family :)
Avatar universal
you don't have do what he says..its your baby..and don't do sometihng that you will regret.. i had my first baby at 19, my boyfriend was really excited when we found out..and now i'm twenty and found out i'm pregnant this week..we were trying for a second baby..and we are really happy... we really wanted our second one, even though we are so young, and going to college this september.. it depends on the man i suppose..some men think kids are a burden, and some think kids is great, and its a proper family... my fiance loves our son, he says its the best thing that ever happened to him..being a dad.. especially now that our 7 month old said "dada"for the first time :))) and he really wants a girl now :)
so, maybe your man isn't ready yet, but he has to be ready since your having the baby..talk to him..say that he would love when the baby would smile for the first time, when it'll say mama or dada.. when he/she would be happy to see the daddy... all the excitement at Christmas, presents..babys laughter..the funny crawling they do at first..walking holding on to his hand... and his face when he is born looking up to mammy and daddy, you are the parents, the most important people to him..until a certain age :P
Avatar universal
Did you keep it?  
11462113 tn?1420953993
first let your parents know about it, if they really love you they will understand you.
Have an Answer?
Top Women's Health Answerers
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
From skin changes to weight loss to unusual bleeding, here are 15 cancer warning signs that women tend to ignore.
Here’s what you need to know about the transition into menopause – and life after the change takes place.
It’s more than just the “baby blues.“ Learn to recognize the signs of postpartum depression – and how to treat it.
Forget the fountain of youth – try flossing instead! Here are 11 surprising ways to live longer.
From STD tests to mammograms, find out which screening tests you need - and when to get them.
Find out if PRP therapy right for you.