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4905918 tn?1375147193

want your opinions!

Ok ladies, I would like to know your opinions on abortion..I myself would never consider one (unless it is a critical medical reason), but my Bestfriend is telling me she wants to have one. I kinda don't know what to say to her, other than do what's best for her, her boyfriend, and her 2 yr old. But I'm curious on how you ladies feel about abortion.
34 Responses
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
People are not wrong for being pro life and people aren't wrong for being pro choice.  We are entitled to our opinions.

I'm glad that we have a forum where a woman can come to safely discuss the choices she has regarding her pregnancy.  

peace to all.  
Helpful - 0
5689361 tn?1372426192
first off, abortion is the WOMAN'S decision, no men should even comment on this topic! Anyway, Idk her full situation or reasons y she wants to have one... but being her best friend u need to let her know you support her in any decision she makes. There are a lot of people so quick to judge other people's lives and that's not up to anyone to do but God.Let your friend feel like she has her best friend by her side no matter what bc obviously, she is going through a lot. There are a lot of people who want to say how wrong abortion is, guess what? It's not illegal and it's not anyone's business what decision a woman makes...
How far along is she?
Helpful - 0
5660397 tn?1373806796
It's been a while since this thread was commented in but I'm still going to post.

I'm pro-choice, and very vocally so. I believe the government has no place in dictating a woman's reproductive choices no matter whether a fetus is considered viable, if the procedure is a D&X, that is all between her and her doctor. The only place the government has is in making sure clinics are kept up a standard and are providing safe abortions. I'm active in volunteering for organizations that work to keep a woman's right to choose safe, legal, and accessible in the US as well as improve accessibility and challenge anti-choice laws.

I've also had an abortion, shortly after my husband and I got married, I found out I was pregnant which was a shock because I have PCOS, primary amenorrhea and have been told I most likely would not be able to have children. My husband and I do not want children, I have mental health issues that at times limit my functioning to minimal and they are also very much hereditary, mental illness runs down my family tree on my dad's side for generations, and I inherited my bipolar disorder, as well as other issues from my dad who inherited it from my grandma, who inherited it from her father, and it keeps going. The emotional suffering I've gone through at times, the number of psychiatric hospitalizations I've had, the inability to work, not knowing if I'll be up down or in the middle from day to day since I ultra-rapid cycle, that's not something I would EVER want for a child of mine. I also have severe allergies, both food and environmental, a primary immune disorder, fibromyalgia, and dysautonomia from POTS. Genetically, I'm a mess.

As soon as we found out I was pregnant, I called a local clinic, made an appointment for the ultrasound and the appointment for the abortion 48 hours later (another type of laws I'm against), got my ultrasound and they always look like blotches all over a black screen to me, I don't see anything, waited, went to my appointment with my husband and had my procedure done. I don't regret it, I didn't question if it was the right decision at any point, I'm glad I had an abortion, and even though I've undergone a sterilization procedure, if it failed and my husband's vasectomy failed, I got pregnant again, I'd get an abortion again. I'm not ashamed of my choice, it's my body, life, and decision to make, not anyone else has the right to make that choice for me or any other woman.

It makes me sad and upset at how anti-choicers come out and make women who have had abortions feel like they need to be anonymous or remain silent about it when the statistics are that 1 in 3 women will have an abortion in her lifetime, plain and simple. Yet it always seems so anti-choice biased in discussions.

I've also helped a friend pay for her abortion that she has no regrets about. She's now married, pregnant, and due in October, expecting a girl.

Not everyone regrets an abortion, in fact, majority don't. Having an abortion doesn't make you a different person, suddenly some evil woman with a neon sign on her head. And you aren't aborting "babies" as babies are no longer carried in the woman's uterus. Embryos and fetuses are aborted.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree with alot of what you said. I do know that here in the USA birth control is free, or at a reduced rate depending on your income. I see so many young girls on the teen pregnancy forums taking chances while not being on birth control. Or, worse yet, trying to get pregnant. Some are 13, 14, 15 years old. By law you can't even work until you're 16 so how will they pay for these babies on their own?
No own will ever have the right answer as far as abortion. If they were to outlaw it though girls and women would be back to the old days of possibly dying from untrained people doing them.
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Avatar universal
I am pro-choice.  What I'm against is people having children that they are completely not ready for that then live off the tax others pay. A lot of people are saying people should keep their babies if they are stupid enough to get pregnant. The problem with this is that the people being punished are the baby - who has an unprepared mum, and the taxpayer - who is paying for someone's stupidity. If anyone can go through the heartbreak of abortion because they know they can't treat that baby how it deserves, who can say they are wrong?  
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Such a personal decision.  I think it is often cruel to bring a child into situations that are less than ideal.  So many are ill equipped to provide for babies or care for them.  I would absolutely prefer a woman go for adoption in that situation but also think it unfair to expect anyone to carry a baby if it is not what they desire.  

So, I think that it is a choice that women make for a variety of reasons and that should be accepted.  Good luck to your friend.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi C, Theres a lot of against, and some for and some between, but please remember its her life, her body and ultimately her choice, nobody has the right to try and persuade her differently.
Look we all love our children, but would you try and stop them having one, if so your so wrong, as any body here is, if you think I'm wrong just go back and reread, her life, her body and her choice, end.
Good Luck
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Avatar universal
I agree with all these mothers. I got pregnant with my daughter at 15 and she's now 5 and I'm pregnant with my second baby girl and could never imagine taking my child's life because I didn't want to take care of another child or didnt think I could afford it. We are struggling as it is. But that's why your Kids come first. Abortion is not a option in my mind. Unless your raped. No disrespect ment either.
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4920659 tn?1371061785
I've had an abortion. I don't agree with it as birth control but 4 years ago i got raped repeatedly by a family friend whom was supposed to be trustworthy. I fell pregnant & couldnt cope. Everyone is different & personally if you aren't 100% ready to have a child why not look at adoption instead of abortion. Its not right for everyone but its how the person feels xx
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I would NEVER EVER have an abortion!  My opinion it is murder!!
and SHOULD NEVER be used as birth control.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Not all pregnancies are down to carelessness and just laying there with your legs open. I was on the pill when i fell pregnant, like my mum who had even had the coil fitted. For me, abortion was something i was considering because im young and i wanted to be able to give my baby a good life myself, and i wouldn't be able to let somebody else do that, personally. There are so many reasons why a person would want to abort a child, and it is a personal decision.
Anyway, i chose to keep my little girl and im now 35 weeks. We shouldn't judge anyone on their decisions.
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Avatar universal
I personally would NEVER have one unless me or my baby would not make it like medically necessary or if raped. I do believe ppl have rights to but i never would
. u could always put baby up for adoption nd have a loving family take the baby
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
When I was younger like 15 I'm now 23 and expecting my first!! It would be easy for me to agree with someone that wanted to get an abortion when they got raped. But only for that reason! But when I became pregnant and found out at 5wks and started reading about how it develops fast I don't think the same! It has life and its not the baby fault! But I won't judge if someone did! That's not my place and everyone does what they think is best.
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Avatar universal
This is so two sided your never going to get a straight answer. I don't believe in abortion but that's my choice. I'm not going to knock someone for their choice. I had my first at 16 and abortion never crossed my mind but that was my choice. I don't like it but that's me.
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Avatar universal
My fiancé and I share the same opinion when it comes to abortion: politically, pro choice. I don't judge others who have had an abortion because it is them who have to deal with the consequences of their actions, and probably don't need any more criticism and guilt shoved in their faces. My best friend had one and she regrets it but knew it was probably the best decision for her and her bf at the time, and they are still together and decided if it happened again she would keep the baby for sure.

Personally, we are pro-life. I would never have one unless there was danger to our child's life. Even if I was raped, I would consider adoption instead. My fiancé and I had this discussion a few months in to our relationship because I was not steadily on birth control, he wasn't sure if he could even have kids, and it's a discussion you need to have if you're serious about each other. He had to go through an abortion with his ex, and that was because she wasn't ready and had had an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in miscarriage and she couldn't do that again. He says it was the worst mistake of his life. I could never do that to him.

Sorry this is so long lol. But that's my opinion.
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Avatar universal
Im neither for or against abortion. If there is genuine medical concern, then I can see where it would be necessary as a last resort. However, anything other than that I just cant help but think "What did the baby do to deserve this?" Give the life inside a chance. If you cant do it there are parents out there who can and have been wanting a child yet for some reason cannot have one themselves.
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4928337 tn?1362751166
I got pregnant at 16 and was told to get out or get an abortion! And i got out for around 6 months my entire family ignored me. But i do not regret keeping my son. He is now 5 and the best thing to ever happen to me. His father my now husband of 5 years and i are now expecting our 3rd child. Though we struggle and live pay check to paycheck i would never consider abortion or adoption. It is your responsibility! Woman up! I couldnt imagine killing my child i have suffered miscarriage and blamed myself for a long time. Thinking i did something wrong! So making that decision would not be an option for me!
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Avatar universal
I have had an abortion so i'm pro-choice , but not for myself anymore. I know what I did was wrong & I regret it 100%.
I guess I never looked at the negative side of it. I was 16 now 17 & this happened 7 months ago. I did it for medical reasons. No doctors didn't tell me , I chosed cause of my chance of dying. I knew I could've died. But now I think about it as an excuse. I should've went to the doctors to know forsure. I would've died for my child anytime. I think what I did was selfish & this guilt will forever stay with me.
So do I agree on abortion? Yes, but in a way No. I don't know how to explain it.
I didn't choose adoption cause I knew once I saw my baby, I would fall in love & not let him or her go to a person I barely even know. & I wouldn't want to see my baby growing up with other people that aren't his or her parents :/
I think if you won't regret it or if you can handle depression by aborting , then I guess go for it.
Helpful - 0
5098230 tn?1430974779
My opinion would be that no one should get an abortion because they can't financially pay for the baby or because the father isn't there or because they just don't want to take the time to take care of a child. The best birth control out there is abstinence.
Helpful - 0
4593117 tn?1357773395
I personally wouldn 't have one but if I knew someone who thought that was the best or only option for her....then that is her choice. It is not up to me or anyone else to judge. Unless you are perfect you have no business judging anyone.
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Avatar universal
In my opinion if you didn't care enough to try to prevent pregnancy, then don't act like you're not ready for a child when you do become pregnant and act as if abortion is your only choice. I am against abortion unless like the ladies above said it's for medical reasons or rape then I can understand. There is so many precautions you can take to avoid an unwanted pregnancy and if for any reason even while being careful you end up pregnant there are other choices besides abortion. You could give someone who cannot conceive a child, give them a chance at something so amazing thru adoption. I always told myself my mother gave me a chance at life. So how can I take a life away simply bc I'm not ready or don't want a baby. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my babyboy and I wouldn't change it for the world.
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Avatar universal
I'm against abortion.My baby daddy AND his mother both tried to tell me to get one but after I told them that it is never going to be an option they started pushing for adoption.Although I knew I wanted to keep my baby I agreed to go talk with someone and hear all about adoption.I feel bad for the people who can't conceive but overall it was my decision and I can't wait for these last 13 weeks to pass to meet my baby girl!I am so happy I made this decision and the father made his;I haven't talked to hum in over a month and even though it'll be hard with the support of my family we'll make it
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Avatar universal
Well i guess u got my opinion goodnite ladies nd congrats to all the expecting mommies.on here
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4905918 tn?1375147193
I didn't ask if it is right or wrong, I'm just curious to know opinions of other ladies.
Helpful - 0
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