Women's Choice Community
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Avatar universal

what are peoples views on abortion? ?

I'm basically asking this because my boyfriend droped the bombshell on me 2 days ago, "I think we should have an abortion"!. I was so gobsmacked because he told me he was sooo excited to have a baby. I asked him why and he wants me to have one because he doesn't work and I'm still studying at College and he's scared he's not going to be able to provide. As much as I think he's right I refuse to go through an abortion, its against my religion and I don't believe in it at all. What do other people think, just need a chat about it really because I'm so scared.
49 Responses
4368956 tn?1357409671
I personaly dont believe god makes mistakes. And theres other opitions the abortion adoption is beautiful and your child can be givin a beutiful life is you are unable. Weather its a baby or a embro its still apart of you and you made it. Have u looked at all your options?
Avatar universal
How can he want an abortion considering what you've already been through with the miscarriage at the end of the last year. You must have been devestated when he said that. Big hug. Personally I've never thought about it so I'll be as honest as possible and give you my thoughts as they come to me. I would consider abortion if there was a major defect with the foetus which would mean that if they were even too survive then they would have no sort of a life. Honestly I think its the only time I would consider it.
There are other options... The most obvious one being that he has over 7 months to get a job doing anything where even a little pay is better than nothing. Being scared is not a reason to abort a life. The other options are adoption or going it without him if he really doesn't want to be involved. I just want to give you the biggest hug - I think I would be crying nonstop if this was something said to me xxx
Avatar universal
I still want to go through with it, but in a way I know he's right. But we are the ones that got into this situation so we should have to deal with it. But I know we aint going to be able to provide as im in the middle of studying for my career and he cant get a job because its so hard where we live. Adoption is really difficult where we live because its such a small place everyone will know and they will all have an opinion of us both. Its a really glhard decision to make and I dont know what to do
Avatar universal
To tell you the.truth I had a early abortion shortly after my first son was born.  I regret it more than ever and have gotten very depressed about it.  The clinics dont tell you about how you will feel down the road.  I am now older and against it.  I still wonder today what if?  If I didnt have my son to live for I dont know where I would be or if I would be here.  It is a very hard decision to make and the guilt afterwards is 100 times worse.  
4368956 tn?1357409671
Who cares what others think if u do it to save your child they can eat rocks! Your already pregnant which means your already a mother you have to makr decisions for whayd best for you and your child now. You are the only one who can protect it. I haf teo children by the time i was 17 so i no what it mean to be looked down on but when i see my 9 and 8 year old running around laughing and thriving in school and giving me hugs and kisses i know i would die before i let anything hurt them. Protect ypur child your a mom even if that means you cant raise it u are still looking out for it. But u can do it!
Avatar universal
I know I said that about the miscarriage and I said to him I'll do it alone. And he started crying saying he wants babies with me he just thinks its for the best right now cos he wants us to get a house together and have a career and that which I can understand that but abortion is an awful awful thing. The way its done is disgusting and it shouldnt exist!
Avatar universal
I am muslim, totally against my religion. Even before i became muslim...i was never for abortions. Juss give the baby up for adoption...thas all :)
4250731 tn?1359157923
You can't worry about other peoples opinions of you because its just that an opinion I believe God makes no mistakes and he will not put to much on you that u cannot bare adoption is a wonderful thing so what if people talk atleast you no you did something wonderful for your child and he has time to look and get a job if I was flipping burgers hey atleast its a job sometimes you have to make sacrifices in life and if you have to do it alone there are tons of places that will help you out...
4368956 tn?1357409671
If he was so worried he should of used a condom now he needs to man up!! If he wont u got too do it. there are alot of programs that will offer free day care and food wise wic gives you free baby food for a year.
3419238 tn?1353085371
I personally am against abortion. It'll be killing a innocent baby. I would perfer adoption over abortion. But I personally would never be able to do neither. I was 14 when I got pregnant with my first and my father tried pushing me for an abortion and since I wouldn't they tried pushing for an adoption. I told everyone I laid down I got pregnant in taking responsibility now me and the father are still together we have a healthy 6 yr old son and I'm now 28+6 with our lil girl...good luck
4250731 tn?1359157923
And obviously you no what the outcome can be of having unprotected sex its not about you guys anymore so if you have to give baby up which I no that's a hard decision so be it if that's what u decide but honestly I think you can raise baby
4368956 tn?1357409671
Get on some adopition sites and read some of the ladies stories if you cant do it yourself they would die to have you child hell alot of them will help you as much as you need and send pictures and have meet ups with your child its beautiful.
4601190 tn?1357342463
I do not believe you should have an abortion. Personally, i believe the only women who should r the ones who.concieved because of a rape. With that being said, after i lost my babies back in March of 07, i got pregnant  again 6 months later. The thought crossed my mind. I knew i wouldnt  be able to support a baby then, i was so depressed and didnt want to deal with it. I ended up keeping her (thank god! She changed my life) she makes me try so much harded than i ever even thought possible. Yes, i quit school and got a job (fairly decent one too) that i loved & yes, someday, i want to go back but my hubby and i decided that hes gonna go back tto school first since he has less time then when he starts his career or shortly after, ill quit my job & go back. We struggle now since we have a 4 yr old and im due in 2 weeks & hes the only one working. But, we r happy. We are here for each other and for both our kids.

Whatever you do decide to do, know there are government agencies that can & will help out. Id look into all your options, sit down with a social  worker (as im sure theyd be able to give u bettter, more factual answers, than anyone else).
Avatar universal
I only think there is on reason to get and abortion and that is if someone is are raped. If someone is ready to  have sex then they are ready to have a baby.
Avatar universal
Even if you live in a small town the family adopting can be states away from you.. Ive heard of people driving miles and miles away to get there new family memeber.. I dont think that you should just because he doesnt have a job and youre in the middle of school. 90% of the women on here are going through the same thing.. hell im not financially ready for a baby but i would never assume that means abortion.. It is what it is and like the first comment on this status god doesnt make mistakes.. please really think about it, youll find that youre already secretly in love with that gift from god inside of you..
Avatar universal
I'm in the same position, my boyfriend thinks we can't do this now cuz I'm still in college n he isnt makin as much money as he feels we need. I can't go thru something like that thou.  U jus need a good support group n get some assistance. They do help. I haven't told him but I got medical assistance, food assistance, n housing soon. With or without him, me n my baby will b ok no matter wat others think. A baby is a gift not a burden.  He loves u n hopefully will do wat he has to before tthe baby comes. I'm praying the same for myself.  Good luck hun!
3744707 tn?1402191170
i honestly believe that a child brings more to your live if you think abt it theres more help for you when you have a child like food stamps wic money and income taxes. this is honestly your choice, i had an abortion once (he kept pushing me to do it)and i really regret it sometimes i sit and cry thinking i couldve been a mother already
i thought i was punished because after that happen i mmeet my wonderful hubby and for one year i couldnt get pregoo i was already so depressed and sad thinking that it was my fault and this is what i get but i got a secnd chance and im more than excited to have my baby.
ive ssen plenty chicks in college that still are in school its a bit rough but still have the motivation to go and do the dam thing for there family :)
Avatar universal
I'm an atheist but I don't think your reasons are nearly enough to justify an abortion. If the baby wasn't healthy (had a very serious defect) or your health would be jeopardized carrying the baby to term, I would certainly suggest looking into it. In regards to the rape victims, I don't think I would abort, personally. But I would want the option available.

Now. When I got pregnant with my first I was an 18 year old waitress about to start college. My boyfriend at the time was a cook, also getting ready fro college. We had only been together about 6 months but I never even considered an abortion. Adoption crossed my mind but I knew I couldn't give up my baby.

We couldn't really afford a kid but we made it work. I finish my degree and my now-husband is graduating this spring. I'm 10 weeks with our second, this one being planned! It's a lot if work but it us completely doable. If your boyfriend really doesn't want to keep this one, you can consider adoption as these ladies have suggested. Or you can do it in your own. I'm willing to bet this guy will change his mind and want to be a part if his child's life.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck!
Avatar universal
Dont ever feel ashamed of what people in your town may think.  Its your life not theirs.everyone makes mistakes in life.  If you want to raise your baby or give up for adoption dont worry about how people will react.  If people judge you then they have issues.  Whatever you do from my experience abortion is the worst decision I wish I had someone to talk to when I went through that.  I am definitely not proud of my decision I made in the past.   whatever your decision is just realize there are options.  Goodluck!
Avatar universal
I am 100% pro-choice since i've had one too .
I personally would everr have another one again -.- i think it people's body & they should be able to do what they want to their body, but i recommend keeping it . You made it , you take up for your responsibility. I should've took my own advice -.-
Like a person said up there . The doctor's dont tell you anything about how your emotional life will be. I'm so depressed since i've done it.
I personally wouldn't be able to go through adoption either .
So just think about it. You can do it. Anyone can do it. :)
Avatar universal
Personally I am atheist, so religion isn't a factor for me. I am pro-choice. I mean do I think its right for women to get pregnant several times and keep getting abortions? No. But ultimately it is your choice. I think you should do what YOU want, deep in your heart. I wanted this baby deep down, but considered abortion for the longest time up until it was too late. Now I'm almost 20 weeks and I know I can't give my baby up for adoption. So I made my decision by default. Sometimes I wish I would have gotten the abortion, but I just couldn't go through with it. But if you're only worried about finances, I wouldn't get one just for that reason because there is so much help out there for pregnant women.
Avatar universal
Tell him to get a job!?
Avatar universal
Its not personally for me, but everyone is entitled to do what they want..don't let anyone make your decision for you, yes there are other options out there that would be worth looking into but the end decision is yours and yours alone. Good luck hunn:)
4561338 tn?1357745273
My honest opinion sounds judgmental but I think the "pro-choice" argument is a total cop out. Abortion is taking away the life of another person. No matter the circumstances. Adoption is a beautiful thing and a wonderful gift to someone else and there is no shame in it. A lot of times people will respect you more for making the hard decision to give the baby up rather than do the "prideful" thing and keep the baby and have a less than desirable lifestyle. Don't be afraid to admit you made a mistake and had unprotected sex. But the baby is not the mistake and should not be punished for your actions.
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