Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

Alone Time!!!

Ok I got another question my son screams and screams and screams and so I didn't know what to do so I lay him down in his bed to let him have alone time and he was still screaming alot until he fell asleep and this is about 3 days in a roll he has done this now he sounds like he is lossing his voice what do I do about that is this normal or am I doing something wrong should I not aloud him to scream even if that is the only way to get him to take a nap the only time he gets like this is when he gets sleepy the same time everyday...What should I do...
9 Responses
Avatar universal
It sounds like he has colic, which is somewhat normal, and not from anything you're doing wrong.  My understanding about a crying baby is that until they are four months old, you should do everything you can to console them.  You can't spoil a newborn!  Some people have told me that if their baby cries too much, s/he'll never go to sleep.  I think you have to do what works best for you and your baby.  If the only thing that makes him go to sleep, is leaving him alone in the crib, then I would do it.  He is safe in there. I am certainly no expert, though.  You can always talk to the pediatrician about it.
Avatar universal
I have a 7 month old who takes naps on her own--I even put her down awake and she goes to sleep on her own without any, or at least minimal, crying. However, until she was about 4 months old, she wouldn't take a nap!  She even had a hard time sleeping at night. She screamed all the time.  I felt like she was hoarse at times also.  For about 2-3 months straight the only way I could get her to sleep, day or night, was to let her lay on me in the recliner.  So that is where I slept every night, and I ended up having to spend alot of time in the recliner each day if I wanted her to sleep.  I also thought I was maybe spoiling her, but she needed the attention and I just gave it to her.  Again, when she was ready and grew out of her "fussy" stage, she decided that she wanted to take naps and go to sleep on her own.  I don't think it spoiled her, and if I had it to do over again, I would do the same thing!  Hang in there--it should get better in a few months.  If nothing else, look at this as great bonding time between you and your baby!
Avatar universal
maybe he has gas or an upset tummy. i would bring him to the doc's to rule out anything medically that could be wrong.
Avatar universal
At this age, you need to console him, not let him cry it out. He is developing his sense of trust in the world (and right now you are his entire world) and needs to know that you are there for him. All of the experts agree, not just a select few, that until 4-6 months you need to do everything possible to console him.

With the exception of when I delivered and when he was circumcised, I didn't hear my son really cry (he whimpered a little or fussed, but never actually cried) until he was close to 4 months old. You learn to read their cues, even before they start to wail. And I can tell you, he is one of the most well adjusted little boys you will ever meet.


Avatar universal
Most newborn babies(with the exception of having collic) do not cry unless there is something wrong (like wet diaper, hungry or in pain).  Even in the case of collic, there IS something wrong, their stomach hurts.  
Definitely, ask your pediatrician what the culprit may be and what can be done about it!!
You have posted on here several times about the crying problem, and I noticed once that you said he was better behaved for your mother.  Ask her what she does differently.
I also noticed you posted once about how stressed you are right now.  I have another question for you, do you have any of the symptoms of post-partum depression?  Like depression, agitation, panic, easily stressed out, or feelings of resentment?  Maybe he is picking up some of those "vibes" from you?  Best to talk to your doctor and get a referral, so you canovercome this hurddle, if you do, in fact have post-partum depression.
Maybe his crying is the source of the stress, but I thought I would just throw it out there.
Avatar universal
   I don't have post partium and I know why he crys like that he is fighting sleep I know this cus his eyes close and open and close and open etc. when I lay him down he crys for about5mins and falls asleep so I know its just sleeieness ty for the advice...
Avatar universal
u don't get post-partum, u r post-partum. it pretty much means you've just had a baby. there r probably programs near u, where people come to ur house like once a week and give u advice, bring u grocery shopping, etc... it sounds to me maybe u should get invovled with a proram like this.
Avatar universal
I agree with Chey101.  I have read all of the posts and I would highly recommend finding some support in your area.
Avatar universal
I noticed that you call it "screaming".  Crying is something a baby does for a multitude of reasons.  They are uncomfortable, they are getting hungry, they are tired, etc.  Screaming indicates they have reached an entirely different level.  They are pain, they are hungry and crying didn't get them fed, they are scared and need comforting, maybe they are exhausted and can't sleep, etc.  So, if he is in fact "screaming", pick him up.  You have to let a baby cry now and then, just don't let it get to the scream level without intervention.  When he begins to cry, make sure he is fed, dry, and otherwise comfortable.  Then allow him to cry for a bit, checking on him regularly.  They need the exertion of crying to become physically tired as well as brain-tired.  And, yeah, see if you can find someone you trust to stand in for you, even if you don't leave the house.  I have been there before, and I would feel like pulling my hair out.  For the first 2 mos. of my youngest daughter's life, she did nothing but scream. (Actually, this didn't start until she was about 2-3 weeks old.)  I could never put her down.  I would walk her in the middle of the night and sing to her until she fell asleep, head on my shoulder.  Then I would lay her down, and she would go directly into scream mode.  She would eat, then projectile vomit about 30% of the time.  And then, suddenly, she got passed it.  One day she was screaming and the next, she slept peacefully.  Whatever was going on was done, just like that.  And, her and I were able to get more than 30 minutes of sleep at a time.  We were both much happier.  This will get better.  Hang in there.

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