I just can't even imagine. I went through the "what if's" with my m/c and ectopic, but I really don't think they even compare here. I'm glad he's supporting you and that you have each other. Have you considered going to grief counseling? It can be helpful when those "what if" questions start gettting to you. Just something to consider.
hey everyone my baby was born just 7 months ago and i had the normal bleeding afterwards. which i know isnt considered a real period. that lasted for about a month then i was expecting my real period to come and it has yet to start ive looked online and it said my body may take longer to heal but that was about 3 months ago. im worried! im pretty sure im not pregnant because ive been really stand back ish when it comes to sex with my man. any suggestions on what else could be wrong???
Hey, didn't you say that you lived in Tucson? What hospital did you have him? My son was born at 36 1/2 weeks, but I was in labor a couple of weeks b4 that and had to get a few shots and be home bound b4 dr. said it was ok. She told me then that Caucasion, baby boys born b4 36 weeks tend to have some real issues, she did not know why, but said that has held true for her patients. Sorry to hear of your loss, just don't know how awful that would be. I don't even want my children to die when I am 80 let alone the day they were born. God bless you and comfort you in this time of healing.
I'm sorry if my comments or anyone elses made you feel worse. You weren't clear in your initial post as to what happened, just that you had a healthy baby who died a few hours later in the NICU. That's what may have led people to misunderstand and to be shocked. I am very sorry for your loss.
All preterm infants are presumtively treated for infection, whether they have one or not. That's because if they wait for signs of infection to surface (as they often do in preemies) the results can be overwhelming and devastatingly hard to manage. So if I'm understanding what you say, that may be why he was treated for "an infection he didn't have".
And as another poster mentioned, caucasion male preemies are statistically more likely to have a complicated and serious course and a higher mortality rate. Not that this fact gives you any comfort if he was given the wrong medication, but any preemie is a great risk of morbidity and mortality. Most 32 weekers survive. Sometimes despite all best efforts, they do not.
Again, not knowing what medication was given or any other specifics I couldn't give any thoughts on what might or might not have happened. The care of a "healthy" 32 weeker is fairly straightforward, so I don't know if there was any complicating factors such as birth trauma, C/S or vag del, breech or vertex, hemorrhage, prolonged rupture of membranes, fever, positive GBS, maternal medications given during labor or birth, a cerebral bleed, RDS, renal failure, pneumothorax, NEC or any of a host of other problems that threaten a preemie.
I wish you the best in your efforts to recover. Its a long hard road that takes a lot of emotional work.
I am so sorry - Like I said my last post was NOT to be rude by any means - I understand you may grieve differently and maybe it was hard for you to talk about it. I really do hope you can get pg again soon - I know when I had my m/c that was all I could think about, was getting pg again - and even though it does not take the pain away completely it does help. You have a place that you can go to to remember your little one - With a miscarriage all you have are the few precious memories of a few weeks or so. I do hope all works out for you and your husband. Good Luck to you and again I am so sorry about my last post - I did not want to upset you in any way (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
To boycrazy- My son was born at UMC hospital I would have to say a hospital I would never go to again. They treated my son for a heart condition he never had. They gave him high doses of diplomine which is a fast acting drug and they gave him too high of a dose. I sat there and watch my sons heart stop beating as they gave him other meds to counter act that med. He came back to life but they still insisted his heart was not working. After an extensive autopsy was done they found no reason on why my son should have died. The dr who did the autopsy was the one who said I should hire an attorney because he had just did an autopsy on another baby the day prior with a med error as well. He said he couldn't give me any information on that family or what exactly the baby had but that I too should look into the medical staff. What this is going to do for me I don't know but perhaps it will help the next little angel they should do this too. My grieving comes with great anger now because I thought the autopsy was going to bring some closure when its only opened more doors to the "what if's." Everyday I think to myself why wasn't I there for him and what if I was. But I can't think that way because I cannot undo what has happened. He will always be a memory in my life and no one can take that away from me. Although I still feel emptiness.
To blondie- I know you werent being mean. I just wanted it to be known perhaps what I typed the first time didnt sound appropriate but I hate retelling the story over and over because I have nightmares everynight of that night and it hurts me to relive that night in my mind each day. Each time I think about it, my heart feels like it is literally breaking over and over again in me. I had so many hopes and dreams for him and I know his dad was looking forward to seeing him and I made some choices when he was dying that have hurt people for my selfishness and because I didn't want people to see me at the lowest point of my life and crying as hard as I was I chose for no one to be there except for my friend who was there for his birth. My bf had to be at work and there was no one to replace him. He was going to be at the hospital right after work and I took it upon myself to tell him I did not want him there. I thought if he didn't see him he wouldn't hurt as bad as I was hurting and going to hurt. Had I known his true feelings on the situation I wouldn't have done that. I personally didn't think he cared enough for me or the baby at the time because he didn't come when he was born. But I didn't know he couldn't be there because there was no one else to cover him. I wish someone had told me. But when things are happening so fast you don't think in your right mind and you make choices you wished you hadn't. I have cried with him apologizing over and over for my selfishness. But he says he is not angry with me and that I need to focus on grieving Johnathan so that we can move forward. So I am thankful he has been there for me because if he hadn't I really don't think I would be where I am now. I still run into people that saw me when I was pregnant and I feel embarrassed and I feel guilt when I tell them he died. They don't know what to say to me and they usually say good-bye then too. So many people avoid me now instead of asking questions. I would rather answer their questions than them ignoring me.